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New X-Men #123 (Parody Thread)

 
 
Robot Man Reformed
16:24 / 11.01.02
Wow, this sure is the best goddarnfuck issue since, well, since, hmm, since, can it be? Kid Eternity 2.

Imagine my disbelief at how Morreson quickly dispatched off the confident Jean Grey and instead replaced her with a German Hausfrau in her 60's. That Phoenix Phorce sure is a quirky entity. But about the Hausfrau, is she perhaps the Spears-statement about age and how it can seem older or younger (than it actually is)? I definitely wouldn't have expected such an old, fat woman in squeezed tight black spandex, with holes around her gender. Cyclops, the perv, rekindled the passion that he had lost with Jean, again, who knew it was headed this way? Scott with a predilection for fetischism? Wooow, Morrison sure is breaking new ground in the comics medium.

And what about Logan? The torture he endured at the hands of The Spot continued the horriffic sequences that Morrison is so adept at introducing to the characters the readers like the best. This scene also contains my favourite quote of the whole issue: As the Spot is giving him a bikini wax: "Oh Nanny! This £ø@$ing hurts!"

I could go on, but what did you others think of the rest of the issue?
 
 
Ganesh
07:33 / 12.01.02
I thought the Logan/Cyclops fisting scene was a little... sphincter-rending...
 
 
bio k9
08:17 / 12.01.02
cHrOMeO, cHrOMeO, wherethefuck are ya cHrOMeO?

Its got chrome
Its got HOMO
Its got romeo
What more could you ask for?

[ 12-01-2002: Message edited by: biomagnetic k9 ]
 
 
Tom Coates
08:17 / 12.01.02
I think it's contrived and derivative.
 
 
Sax
08:17 / 12.01.02
quote:Originally posted by Ganesh v4.2:
I thought the Logan/Cyclops fisting scene was a little... sphincter-rending...


Just because Grant Morrison wrote it, it doesn't make fisting funny, you know.
 
 
Ganesh
10:47 / 12.01.02
Well, even if it was mutually consensual (and I'm not sure Cyclops could have consented with Jean's 'Pat Phoenix' incarnation sitting over his visor) it's rather irresponsible of him to feature it in a comic read by adolescents. If there's a rise in the rate of death by rectal bleeding among teenage boys, he'll be to blame...
 
 
Captain Zoom
13:20 / 12.01.02
I thought the "SO IT BEGINS!" at the start was good. The characters all giving brief descriptions of what they could do every three pages was quite excellent. Any other writer would never have been able to pull it off. The only scene that bothered me was when George Bush Jr. showed up at Xavier's, was confronted by the Cassandra Nova-possessed Prof. X, revealed his mutant power was to snort lungfuls of coke and then shoot pellets of it out his ass, and she brought him into the fold. I mean, even Ms. Nova must have limits to the evil she can stand. A little unbelievable if you ask me.

I though the letter at the end from Grant was excellent. Proclaiming his imminent Godhood in such a humble fashion really increases my respect for the man. I was sorry to hear that his "rugged good looks" had fallen prey to facial tentacles, but what're you gonna do?

Enjoyable, in short. I'm looking forward to the next issue with the first appearance of Cardboard Box Man.

Zoom.
 
 
The Natural Way
13:37 / 12.01.02
Interesting how he's still jamming on the "Love...love is like a fist, sometimes..." theme. Let's wait see where he takes it from here...
 
 
Robot Man Reformed
20:17 / 13.01.02
quote:Originally posted by Captain Zoom
The only scene that bothered me was when George Bush Jr. showed up at Xavier's, was confronted by the Cassandra Nova-possessed Prof. X, revealed his mutant power was to snort lungfuls of coke and then shoot pellets of it out his ass, and she brought him into the fold. I mean, even Ms. Nova must have limits to the evil she can stand. A little unbelievable if you ask me.


Well, it really depends on how you view it, I think it's sheer brilliance. The solicitation for 125 shows that he plans to put his brain in a cheramic vase, and in a recent interview with Newsweak he let slip that he is prepared to let it remain there for his whole tenure at the title.

Gory.
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
06:19 / 14.01.02
"Pat Phoenix".

Bwa-ha-ha.....
 
 
Robot Man Reformed
15:53 / 14.01.02
I still think the delightful surprise the last issue nonetheless was, that Morrison had taken it upon himself to also draw, ink, letter, edit and personally handcolor every single produced copy with crayons, he should have waited a few more issues because I can still sport the occasional rigidness in his poses, although it, arguably, enhances the fisting scene.
While I'm still on that topic, he sure had us fooled on the whole "brand-new pacifist direction," didn't he?
But his attention to detail is exemplary, did anyone else notice the Hausfrau's pubes making out the phoenix symbol? Or the background detail in the panel immediately following the Neanderthals-mating-with-Aliens flashback sequence? I took it as a confirmation of the Newsharwarma rumours: Morrison, Millar and Brian May writing The Amazing Beak, Barnell: Beak and Freshlaid Eggs: Beak. Look closer, just underneath the 5 men seemingly masturbating: Beak is devouring a customed character who resembles Spider-man to a tee. I think the 5 men were the Backstreet Boys as a nonsensical hint to Barnell: Beak. Classy.
This is a great year for us: we will get 7 more Morrison produced NXM, barring the "Going Bananas" August month, where chimps will be provided paint and paper, that the writer has to write a script to.

My other favourite dialogue: "I suppose I maintain an icy facade," the White Queen in therapy to get in touch with her feminine side.

[ 14-01-2002: Message edited by: cHrOMeO ]
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
16:43 / 14.01.02
[zoink!]

And off to comics with you.
 
 
sleazenation
16:50 / 14.01.02
er nick why pollute the comics forum with talk of a fictional issue?

Surely this is still better suited to the creation than comics where it will just get confused with any eventual thread relating to actual, not yet published comic in question?
 
 
Robot Man Reformed
17:24 / 14.01.02
Because it's - mah gawd - official: He doesn't laairke me-EEE-eeee....

*Sob*
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
08:58 / 15.01.02
I moved it because I confused it with an actual thread about comics, obviously. And no, Chrome, I don't like you - or rather, I think your opinions and conduct are sometimes intensely obnoxious - but that wouldn't have any bearing on whether I move the thread.

Comics moderators, feel free to move it back.
 
 
Robot Man Reformed
15:23 / 16.01.02
quote:Originally posted by Nick:
And no, Chrome, I don't like you - or rather, I think your opinions and conduct are sometimes intensely obnoxious - but that wouldn't have any bearing on whether I move the thread.


Shitastic.

quote:Comics moderators, feel free to move it back.

Please.
 
 
Mr Tricks
19:30 / 16.01.02
What???

& here I was going to rant on how inconsiderate is was to NOT post a Spoilers warning...

I've been going NUTS looking for issue 122...!!!
 
 
The Knowledge +1
09:10 / 17.01.02
Well I've GOT issue 122 !?!
 
 
Robot Man Reformed
09:10 / 17.01.02
quote:Originally posted by PATricky:

I've been going NUTS looking for issue 122...!!!


Darling, your mind contains all the funky numbers of NXM it can possibly ever want, no matter how lame they are, as shown by me.
 
 
Robot Man Reformed
09:10 / 17.01.02
And Ganesh.

And Cap Zoom.

And...
 
 
Tamayyurt
09:10 / 17.01.02
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
 
 
grant
13:36 / 17.01.02
I *love* The Spot.

High time he came back.

[ 17-01-2002: Message edited by: grant ]
 
 
Mr Tricks
19:18 / 17.01.02
BUT.... BUT,

the SPOT isn't a Mutant?

 
  
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