|
|
Its been a week since the opening of my first exhibit and even though I have a new project to work on I still got into that "is it worth it" stage when you start reflecting way too widely on the state of art and your place in it. "is my art important?" "can I change someones mind?" "is anyone really interested anymore?" those are just some of the idiotic teenage minded questions I'm asking myself right now. the opening was for 6 exhibits opening simultaneously and the guests were mostly artist themselves, family members and some buyers. I received some very warm compliments, about two of them were sincere, and I started doubting myself there and then.
see I'm not a big fan of the art scene. those pretentious knowitalls that are basically masturbating to their own coolness. I like to think I'm not like that and I do my best to use critical thinking and examination on everything I do right down to the way the gallery space is organized and I got into a little argument with my curator when we were aarrangingmy stuff. she's actually an artist herself and I really do admire some of here work. she claims to be a very open minded and aadvancedthinking women and she is -- relatively, but I guess that was not enough for me. as I saw my work which I believe has a rebellious nature to it (one of my core principals is trying to remember my views and feelings as a teenager for that is, in my opinion, the most rebellious, angry and kickassing stage in a persons life when they are born an outsider) hanging there in that white space, so easy to look at and so easy to ignore, I felt like a fool. It's just aanotherexhibit, just another artist showing his views to the few ppeoplewho can actually understand them but then they aalreadyagree with my views. whoever doesn't agree with my views and does not want to eexperiencewhat I'm offering (In my case mmostlyheterosexual men) just goes away. and anyway independent movies these days are reaching the audience in a way art aalwaysintended to but can't anymore - entertaining while still able to convey a clear mmessage
meanwhile rich assholes are buying art like they used to buy sports cars.
I was born an artist, like I was born gay (or maybe it's a birth ddefect) and I can't just do something else. I also don't believe in bbeingtoo extreme (most of the extreme liberals I know where either really stupid or so sure of themselves that they didn't notice they where as ooppressiveas the ppeoplethey where working against.
I really hope some of you can understand my conflict and maybe this is the right place to start a ddiscussion
relax, this is not a suicide note
|
|
|