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To you. Personally.
When I joined it was to talk about and learn a bit more about magic. It was also to practice my writing skills (not skilz).
I had browsed the site a bit, but hadn't really examined the threads as I wanted it to be all fresh and new. I didn't know it was a community on it's death bed: Once a shining city of lights, now sacked and left squalid; the residents cliqued and bickering and hostile.
Despite all that, I dove in and tried my best, failed on several fronts, and learned a lot and became better because of it. My eyes were open to new things and I learned how to integrate myself into a virtual community for the first time. I jumped on late, didn't know really what I was getting into, what the standards and expectations were (supposed to be), and helped in the decline despite what I thought were my best efforts and attempts. I also feel that the whole place is a victim of attrition.
Things are fading and I know what BARBELITH underground meant to me from before I joined, and I ask myself what it means to me now: It's a place that cuts through the bordom at work every now and then. It's a place to fuck around and make clever jokes (or make feeble attempts at clever jokes). It's an archive to dive into, like a dusty old library as well as a place to learn about what's happening at 4chan without worrying about catching something nasty. It's a place to witness small juicy snatches of human drama, reducing me to a reality TV junkie. It's a pub to hang out in because there are a couple of seemingly familiar faces and there's not much better to do. It's a place to throw out some thoughts, and if anyone bothers, see them reflected or clarified or ripped to shreds. Sometimes it's a place to merely be vain, sometimes a place to try make an honest connection, sometimes a place to sit in the bleachers watching all the cliques I once wanted to join.
What does BARBELITH underground mean to you? |
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