Barbelith Underground > Conversation > Barbelith's Best Wedding Advice/Planning

we got hitched in a park but had a backup rain location/shit weather location lined up for emergency and made sure all the guests knew where it was and how a decision would be made which location would be the one.

Early on the spouse and I sat down and decided which things we each gave a shit about in the panorama of wedding frivolity. Then as he was extra wotevs I asked his fam. Turns out pictures, nice poised like ones, were important not only to me but his older relatives because, well we have shit memories. I also found out which songs the oldsters liked so they would have at least one or two the could get into.

I appointed family wranglers who knew the conflicts likely to emerge from booze and excitement and asked them to keep an eye on the potential hotspots. As we had a dual divorce parental combo it was very important to make sure some sensitive types were on duty as buffers. But not us. We were busy being spoony.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to figure out a head of time what are the aspects of getting married and having the event that the couple cares about. It was a chance for me to be a total fiend about flowers because it is a luxury I never really indulge in. Anything you don't care about or doesn't matter to a dear relative scratch off the list. I made keepsake items for our guests because it made me feel really good to make sure everyone got something magical from us on teh special day, but screw the stupid candied almonds right in the ear. If it means something do it, if not jettison it.

Because we had older relatives who might not be able to stand very long in the park we picked a section with a few benches for them. We made sure they could get from the ceremony site to the reception site with ease and had designated helpers to make sure of it. I also had drunk driver patrol friends so again I didn't have to worry who was doing what while I was being a space muffin.

It was also very nice to have a close friend help me with whatever I needed (dress/hair pins, shot of booze, get that relative away right now please before I scream). This friend was also prepped for any weird emotional stress I might fling at her because it was a high octane sort of day.

I set aside tip money for the stellar staff handling much of the event. The DJ was a good friend who did the deed as our wedding present but I made sure he was being supplied with booze and could step down from time to time. the photographer was a friend but I paid him so he could put the lurve into the extra quality. it was nice to have a pro wrangle the people for pictures as well.

I kept costs down by doing much of the work myself or with the spouse and enlisting the happy help of wellwishers. I made sure everyone who helped was thanked and got a token of appreciation.

I suggest a good thing to think about is why are you inviting people and having a group event. What kind of experience do you want to share with those people? What are the fairytale dreamy shmooshy things you've always wanted or what are the ones other people are imposing on you that you don't?