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Erm, I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, given the previous comments, but I fucking love the Friday 13th movies. Well, the even-numbered ones, anyway... it's almost a reverse Star Trek Movie Rule. 8, Jason Takes Manhattan, is a masterclass in the genre, really. 7 sucks. 5 sucks THE WORST. 3 would be OK were it not for the fact that, having been originally intended for 3D, everything takes place at a ludicrous angle. Which would've been impressive with the red/blue specs on, maybe, but in the cold light of day actually looks REALLY STUPID. 5, now that's where they really BETRAY the franchise. 4 having had such a great finale, we get some dumb Agatha Christie shit where it's not even Jason! Fuck that. 6 is fun again, even though it cheats a little by having him brought back to life by lightning (Tommy, from 4, has just been released from juvie, and decides to desecrate Jason's grave. In a thunderstorm. You can't fault his pluck, but our Tommy Jarvis was never the brightest of kids, really). 7, I believe, is when they introduce psychic powers. Now, I don't know about you, but for me, Jason was always better than Freddie (bear in mind, at this point, Meiers is out to pasture as far as we know) because he doesn't cheat. This was the psychic shark-jumping moment for me, really.
Actually, hang on, I'm not sure anymore. What happens in 9? I know 8 was where they really seemed to get back on track, with the boat, and the kid-stabbed-with-flying-V and all, so what happens in 9?
I know I've seen it. It clearly wasn't that memorable.
Then we get Jason X. Which is SHIT as a low-class slasher movie (which was what we all WANTED), but absolutely brilliant as a metatextual take-the-piss-out-of-slasher-movies thing in a way that the Scream movies WEREN'T, because you knew they were trying to do that. (DESPERATELY trying not to do spoilers, even though I know nobody cares, but it's a principle, DAMMIT!!!)
Does that make any sense at all?
Freddy v Jason sucked, though. But, hey, let's look on the bright side. It was better than Aliens v Predator. Except it didn't have Lance Henriksen in. If it had, it would've been just about passable.
D'you know, I originally came to this thread to say that horror isn't dead, it's just that we in the West aren't producing the best stuff right now but that DOESN'T MEAN IT'S DEAD, and had some ACE examples of why that should be (I just saw the Korean movie Phone, for example- first half hour, you'll be thinking you've seen it all before. You haven't. It's actually fucking brilliant) but decided I couldn't actually do that justice in my drunken state, so thought I'd go off on one about Mr Vorhees (and his mum, God rest her soul) instead. |
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