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I will physically fight anyone who even looks at me in such a way as to suggest that they may harbour desires for Charlie Brooker to, even vaguely, in any way, shape or form, shut up even a little bit.
when there's an eventual lull, I think, "Wow, I really need a holiday", but by then it's too late. What's more, I'm single. How, as a tragic singleton, are you meant to go on holiday anyway? I know from experience what couples do on holiday: they argue. But I'm not a couple. Who am I supposed to slowly fall out of love with? I can't slowly poison my relationship with myself. Or can I?
(Well, there's also the fact that he once co-wrote a particularly mean-spirited sitcom based on a guy I used to know who I had previously been dumped for... that gets him extra bonus Stoatie points). |
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