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DVD Player

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:09 / 03.10.07

In a shop today, Dixons or Currys or something like that - HA! See what I did? Dixons and Currys are the same thing, which is a satire on _capitalism_ - when suddenly I found a DVD player in my hands. It seemed like a majickal thing to do to wander off with it, and so, after causing a distraction by knocking an old lady into a pile of computers, I walked out of the shop. It was so damn cool. I felt like a ninja.

However, upon my return to my Droitwich sanctum, I found myself wondering what the majickal import of the DVD player is. It isn't theft, because I don't really want a DVD player. Actually, I prefer XBox. I have used Seth's Postmodern Majick to build my own practice, which involves using the Master Chief as a servitor to do my bidding. There must be some reason why I took the DVD player.

How are DVD players used in Majick? What is the majickal history of the DVD player, and what should I use it for. Remember, I am no neophyte. My majick is highly advanced. I have raised up machine spirits, just like in Warhammer 40,000, and bound them to my will. I have taken warrior technology through the portals of time, and faced its terrible desire.

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:09 / 03.10.07

Oops should be in Temple. Moderators please fix thanks.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:12 / 03.10.07

ha ha u hav fucked up becaus you stoled and thats bad magique and that will com back at u 7 times so u will hav 7 dvd players stoled from u ha ha looser

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:54 / 03.10.07

I did not steal it, you fool, as you could tell if you were not blinded by the foolish constraints of the blind capitalist conspiracy. I didn't really want a DVD player, like I said, and it doesn't mean anything to me, so I did not steal it. I didn't ask for a greyfaced lecture about property and capitalism and all that dumb stupid stuff. I wanted to know what the majickal powers of DVD players are.

20:57 / 03.10.07

I think they're level 4.

*

21:17 / 03.10.07

It's okay if the DVD player asked you to take it. It was probably miserable there anyway. It's like freeing an abused kitten, really.

21:21 / 03.10.07

They can be used as an impressive cup/chalice holder.

(kAoS rUlEs!1)

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:20 / 03.10.07

Dude! OBVIOUSLY you have to bitorrent (stick it to the MAN!!) a copy of Waking Life, burn it to DVD whilst focusing on a sigil, then watch it a lot of times with your mates while you all get HIGH. If for some reason you cannot have mates over to get HIGH with (let's face it, it's hard to find real people in this world of FAKES) you can always find likeminded individuals on the Internet and have a virtual stoned thread.

This should facilitate the opening of the oneiric gateway which will enable us all to unplug and become The One.

22:50 / 03.10.07

I wanted to know what the majickal powers of DVD players are.

Depends, what region is it?

Closed for Business Time

23:29 / 03.10.07

Should I encourage more of this behaviour, mista Haus? If only so we can follow your postmodern majicks adventure from behind the bars, ala My name is Earl?

12:30 / 05.10.07

I have taken warrior technology through the portals of time, and faced its terrible desire.

Ha! I did that last week...with a fucking ipod!

That's you learnt.

Does anyone know a good way to clean "terrible desire" off of an ipod by the way?

All Acting Regiment

12:50 / 05.10.07

U haf 2 let it play u

13:14 / 05.10.07

In one of his books RAW quoted some French guy who said that property is liberty, property is theft, and property is impossible. So your THEFT of the DVD player LIBERATED it from the store and you accomplished the IMPOSSIBLE. That's a majickal act!

So a DVD player is electrical, so it's associated with Mercury, which is also a metal, even though it's liquid. And mercury is in thermometers. So make sure that you don't let it overheat.

I suggest getting a movie like Urotsukidoji II, and using the scene with Dr Münchhausen and the death-rape machine to summon the Lord of Chaos, just like they do in the movie!

(Just clean up afterwards. Remember, it's electrical.)

23:57 / 05.10.07

Dixons and Currys are the same thing, which is a satire on _capitalism_

I'm quite interested in this idea - are you saying that Dixons and Currys don't really mean it, that they're involved in some sort of Situationist-type prank at the expense of the consumerist system?

Having been a customer at both establishments over the years, I've often suspected this might be the case.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

07:43 / 06.10.07

Depends, what region is it?

Dude, one of the key parts of this process is the unlocking of the regions. I have _done this before_ - you must use arcane numerology, dexterous prestidigitation, and a sigil downloaded from teh internets. Oh, and a big wad of tissue.

THEN YOU WILL HAVE ALL TEH POWER OF REGIONFREEE in your sticky fingers.

16:01 / 08.10.07

DVD players are are oftern used in magik to make disks get hot, you can never have enought hot disks. And if its a HD-DVD then thats even betterer because HD means Hot Disc, so it must be better cos it actually says that it will make them hot ON it. And HD-DVDs are bigger AND are acually the same size as normal disks (which is magik in itself, DVD players are like that), basically the size means that they get hotter, so the HD-DVD is the way to go for anyone SERIOUS about teh MAGIK.

17:02 / 08.10.07

Dude, one of the key parts of this process is the unlocking of the regions.

Bah! You are teh such a mere mortal. I dont "unlock teh regions." I make the regions conform to my dvd player!!! Corse Im a completly awsum magicked user. I've even crossed the archbishop or liek whatever its called.

18:43 / 08.10.07

you can always find likeminded individuals on the Internet and have a virtual stoned thread.

Or get your pets stoned. They will appreciate it and you can make big powerful supersigilistic majickz together in front of the DVD player.

Then see if the player is willing to participate in some of those beast/whore rituals. If the player refuses, consult NLP handbooks and broodily stare at the player until you know it actually digs you because you make it uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is the natural majykal state of the player.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

21:20 / 08.10.07

But the Blueray is the best DVD there is - because it is even hotter than HOT DISSC-DVD. You know why? cos when you look at a candle (whicle doinf the candle majicks of course) you wil notice that the really hot hot part is BLUE. DO you SEE?!!

SO bluray is BLAZING, and thereon better for doing majicks with.

And its true about getting yr pets stoned for making stronger majick; I gave my labrador puppy LSD and she turned into the living reincantation of mother teresa, and promised to give me the power of all the saints, like Saint John Paull II and St Augustin and ALL Saints - there was other stuff she said too, but it's too mysterious and ARCANE for talking about here.

22:51 / 08.10.07

The only thing better than getting your pet stoned is getting your pet rock stoned.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:54 / 08.10.07

The only thing better than getting your pet stoned is getting your pet rock stoned.

I smoked my pet rock. Nothing like it to sharpen you up and get you ready for a spot of the old shoplifting.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

23:12 / 08.10.07

My pet stone rocks when it smokes. Am I doing something wrong?

23:22 / 08.10.07

Pet rocks are amazing. Dont ever take them for granite.

23:46 / 08.10.07

Have to echo V's sediment, there, the pet rock's always a clastic majyk tool, slated to replace colored candles and Raven Wolfchicken books amongst teh kaotyk majyckians of tomorrow. Just to be crystal clear on this, I shale but say I marble at the effectiveness of the stoned pet rock in majykz. I chalk it up to sometimes being tuff, but almost always being effective in charging a sigil (as a microcosm of orogenous potential).

And if you're going to have somebody program this DVD player, the pet rock is definitively less likely to steal it and all your gear and use it all in a flat across town, than, say, the pet cat.

23:47 / 08.10.07

I want to add to this but I can't find the lime.

00:19 / 09.10.07

If the pet rock does steal the dvd player, what are that chances that it'll use it to watch pyrited movies?

09:45 / 09.10.07

Well theres not that many out there, you've got the pairates of the caribian series and a few from the 60s, I guess it all depends on what colour the rock is and if it has any pets of its own.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

15:17 / 09.10.07

If the pet rock does steal the dvd player, what are that chances that it'll use it to watch pyrited movies?

It's a stone-cold cert. I hear they like the Rocky series especially

09:04 / 11.10.07

Spray a sigil on the side of it and throw it back through the window of Dixons whilst dressed as a nun for the ulitmate act of subversive anti capitalist majique.

Well it's how I like to spend my sunday afternoons anyway.......