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Right, so about four years ago Fox puts out this television show where people confess their deep love for a friend in the studio audience. The friend knows that someone is going to confess their love but they don't know who. The show was recorded live, naturally, to get everyone's first reactions.
Me and a buddy are watching this show, and the first guy's profile comes up. He talks a little about his life, what he does for a living, his family, crap like that. Then he begins talking about a close friend that he is going to confess his love for. She works with him, is apparently gorgeous, and has no idea (so he claims) that he in madly in love with her. That's about as far as his descriptions of her go. I immediately begin to get worried. This will end in disaster, I tell myself.
He starts to say things like "she dates all these pretty-boys with sixpack abs" like that's a bad thing. As a pretty-boy with great abdominal muscles, I was offended but continued watching. He continues--"They're always jerks, that's all she dates. Good looking jerks. And she always ends up crying on my shoulder, telling me about it." My sense of unease is growing, but I'm not sure why yet.
We finally see the dude, and he's overweight and pasty but what bugs me is all his humor is self-depreciating. My first impulse is to call him out as a dork with poor self-esteem, but I begin to realize that maybe the producers are editing all his comments to make him sound like a nerd. "Is that their plan?" I wonder to myself. "Pasty, chubby dork confesses love to beautiful friend, happy ending, we all clap and believe in love again?" I can handle that; I mean it's cheap television, but whatever. I don't have cable, so screw it.
While all this is going on, a camera cuts to his friend in the audience, who by now has put the pieces together and realized what's going on. It was a quick cut, because the look on her face was not one of joy, it was quite plainly a look of dread.
Me and friend now realize what's about to happen, and we can't look away. The show continues and it grows more obvious that the friend just isn't into the poor guy. I would lay odds that she was well aware that he had feelings for her, which makes me wonder why she bothered to go on the show in the first place. What if she expected someone else to be the confessor? God, that makes it all even worse.
Anyway, when she's called on stage, she's smiling but not with her eyes. Her body language is all wrong. She's not happy to be there and it's glaringly obvious.
All of a sudden, I don't know who I pity more: the poor schlub or the girl who has to chose whether to reject him on national television or give him one moment of victory before breaking his heart in private.
The host, who should be either commended for his bravery for going through with the show or hanged for his part in this disaster, asks her how she's feeling. She's quiet for a longer while than anyone is comfortable with and says "I knew--I was hoping it was you." Her smile is weak and faltering. Dude is all grins, like he's finally gonna be the guy that gets the girl. He moves in for a kiss and I think that moment may well be the most awful moment in television history.
She tries to dodge it, but he's got her wrapped up in his arms and is going in fast for an open-mouthed kiss. The result is not pretty. Her lips are clamped shut, as are her eyes, but his mouth is open. She puts up with it for a half second and transitions awkwardly to a friend hug.
I was crushed. The whole affair made me want to cry. Who on earth thought this show was a good idea? How many times do you think someone has confessed a hidden love and the response has been "oh what a coincidence, I secretly loved you too" or even "what the hell, I'll give it a shot"? Even the "The Story Afterwards..." segment was horrible. "The two have decided to remain friends", the announcer says, like we all didn't just witness something awful.
Anyway, the show disappeared and to my knowledge was never aired again. But I remember it. I can't forget it because it haunts me in ways the worst television never did before.
What's your worst televised moment, the one that made you question your faith in a diety that loves you? |
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