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Single and Lovin' it!

 
  

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Papess
15:16 / 01.06.07
I was eating some raw green onions with blue cheese dressing, and I was totally enjoying it. I thought, "This isn't something I would do if I was in an relationship." Not if I wanted snogging anytime that day or night! It made me laugh and feel extremely happy about being single and not having to worry about it.

There is no one to argue with, either. Or the passive-agressive huffing and puffing if my dishes aren't done.

No one can leave me feeling dejected and heartbroken.

I can take things as fast or as slow as I need. I can take time to figure out my own way to do things.

My home can be tailored to suit my needs.

I don't have to have sex with anyone.
 
 
Papess
15:29 / 01.06.07
If I want to completely change something about myself, or my lifestyle, it doesn't involve asking for anyone's blessings or even worse, permission.

Also, I have more time to spend with my son and my friends and on myself.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
15:43 / 01.06.07
I can has Pek ham and spaghetti every night, apart from fridays and saturdays, when I can has mouth.
 
 
Seth
16:01 / 01.06.07
I can lounge around in my Superman pants all day listening to good music and watching cartoons, maybe smoke a fag and then go and see some good bands in the evening.

I can turn my flat into a recording studio and drill through stainless steel and my neighbours won't bother me about it because they all think I'm slightly scary.

I can invite a bunch of near strangers round to stay for a whole weekend in which all my neighbours can hear is raised Japanese voices, dramatic over-scoring followed by subdued introspective conversation and soft weeping.

I can eat a good plate of full English breakfast every morning and no one is there to tell me that it probably isn't a good idea.

I have complete control of the telly, refuse to pay a TV license (because TV is, well, a bit rubbish isn't it) and don't have to endure endless reality TV, soaps, cookery programs and home improvement shows. Seriously, TV is crap innit. Just called the licensing people but didn't have the heart to tell them.

I can have a job that totally destroys my body clock, so that some days I'm still up in time to see the dawn before turning in and others I'm up to catch it before it starts. Dawn is the best time of the day.

I can drive to the New Forest on a whim to take a stroll under the full moon without anyone worrying where I am.

In short I can do what I want whenever I want without anyone to tell me otherwise. And bizarrely I still choose to keep the place clean and tidy.
 
 
Seth
16:21 / 01.06.07
I can not bother to do the recycling for so many weeks that to the casual visitor I seem like a rabid alkie.
 
 
Seth
16:23 / 01.06.07
I can hog the broadband connection for an entire afternoon so I can download the Bleach Live Action Rock Musical and laugh like an idiot while watching it and there's no one around to get cross with me.
 
 
Seth
16:27 / 01.06.07
No one freaks out and leaves the room when I play the music that I want to listen to.

Except that one time (and that fling didn't last long).
 
 
Papess
16:28 / 01.06.07
w00t! You go, Tank! Awesome examples.

I don't have to have sex with anyone.

Which, would better be phrased as: No one is expecting me to have sex with them, and if they are, I can send them home and never call them again.
 
 
alas
16:31 / 01.06.07
My partner's been gone for 10 days. I've enjoyed staying up all night doing amusing things by myself in bed, and then sleeping in, or staying in my pjs a good part of the day. I've enjoyed being in control of the house. Doing a few tasks that are normally 'his' jobs. Feeling like I could really handle being on my own again if it comes to that at any point. Looking forward to fucking again when he comes back, kind of liking the ache. Enjoying missing him.
 
 
Seth
16:32 / 01.06.07
I can invite loony French prog rock bands back to stay after the gig and feed them chocolate chip cookies and jasmine tea while we discuss Tetuzi Akiyama and listen to John Zorn.
 
 
Seth
16:33 / 01.06.07
w00t! You go, Tank! Awesome examples.

Thanks Justrix! This is fun. Great thread!
 
 
Papess
16:41 / 01.06.07
Oh yes, listening to dharma teachings very loudly while I do the dishes doesn't "disturb" anyone.

I have more room to stretch out in my bed.

I don't have to put up with anyone else's burping or farting at inappropriate times, and acting like they just told the best joke evah! (Other than from my son, who is six and it is more understandable coming from him!)
 
 
Seth
16:44 / 01.06.07
I don't have to have sex with anyone.

Not a problem for me. I am a hairy skinhead with a hilariously out of fashion body type and the kind of eyes that women usually describe as piercing (I found out to my detriment that "And what are my eyes piercing today?" is not a good chat up line by way of response. Kinda freaks people out). Virtually all my lifestyle choices are like a sign on my forehead that says "Steer well clear."

Having to have sex is the least of my worries.
 
 
Seth
16:47 / 01.06.07
I can bully all my house guests into giving me back massages and there's seldom anyone around who has seen me pull the routine enough times to undermine and thwart my intent to someday have a knotless back.
 
 
Seth
16:50 / 01.06.07
I can buy fabric pens and spend a couple of hours writing "Master of NLP" and "Life Coach" on my pink man knickers and not have anyone dump me for it.
 
 
Seth
16:51 / 01.06.07
With a happy fuschia heart just over the a-hole one one pair, no less!
 
 
Seth
16:53 / 01.06.07
I can roll around on pub floors wearing only said man knickers and come home stinking of stale beer and fag ash with numerous minor injuries having sexually assaulted skinny indie blokes with daft hair and still no one will dump me!
 
 
Seth
16:59 / 01.06.07
I can put serious consideration into getting a tattoo that just lists all the Gunbuster's special attacks in a really boring font and no one can tell me it's a stupid plan:

Buster Beam!
Buster Collider!
Buster Lightning Kick!
Buster Gator!
Buster Missile!
Burning Wall!
Buster Shield!
Buster Might!
Buster Homing Laser!
 
 
Seth
17:03 / 01.06.07
I can burp and fart at inappropriate times and act like I just told the best joke evah!
 
 
Spaniel
17:06 / 01.06.07
I remember really liking being single. I was very good at it, and it meant that I could be alone for long stretches of time, which I love, and sadly never, ever get to do anymore.

Until JULY! In July B&B are going away for a week and I'm gonna get me that week off work!
 
 
Seth
17:09 / 01.06.07
I can have a mysterious jar sitting in a corner on my balcony that I can refuse to explain to anyone.
 
 
Seth
17:11 / 01.06.07
I can sit in the sun on said balcony amusing myself for hours lining up my neighbours' heads in the sights of an imaginary sniper rifle.
 
 
Seth
17:28 / 01.06.07
I can get back from work at quarter past seven in the morning, open the windows and the balcony door, light a cigarette, start on the whisky and watch a TV show in which someone's reaction to eating bread creates an alternate reality which parodies Lord of the Rings, only with the One Ring being a sentient loquat.
 
 
Papess
17:36 / 01.06.07
I don't have to put up with anyone else's neurotic behavior, except my own.

I don't have to deal with anyone's ex.
 
 
Lama glama
17:40 / 01.06.07
TV show in which someone's reaction to eating bread creates an alternate reality which parodies Lord of the Rings, only with the One Ring being a sentient loquat.

What heavenly-sounding show is that and where do I buy it?
 
 
Seth
17:50 / 01.06.07
It's called Yakitate!! Japan and it's so moronic that I would be dumped in an instant for being addicted to it if I weren't already single and lovin' it!
 
 
imaginary mice
18:16 / 01.06.07
I can plaster my bedroom in Gerard Way posters.

I don’t have to share the house with a carnivore (the cats don’t count, they can’t help it).

I can have quiet nights in whenever I like.

I can go out whenever I like.

I don’t have to watch any rubbish on the telly.

I can watch great telly.

I can sing without anyone complaining.

I can dance in the kitchen.

I can spend as much time as I like with my horse.

I can wear my pink fluffy hoody at home.

I can go to bed at 9pm if I feel like it.

I can get up really early without anyone complaining.

Space!

Peace! Quiet!

Porn and vibrators!
 
 
Seth
18:19 / 01.06.07
I can drink jasmine tea out of measuring jugs.
 
 
imaginary mice
18:21 / 01.06.07
BIG TANK! you should try my homemade bread. Especially when it's fresh and still warm. If that doesn't transport you to an alternate reality there's something wrong with your taste buds.
 
 
Papess
19:13 / 01.06.07
Great list, Mice.

Another good point: Not having to deal with anyone else's family. Honestly, mine is enough!
 
 
Keith, like a scientist
19:32 / 01.06.07
My two favorite things about about being single are:

1. I can sit for quite literally hours on the couch munching on crackers and cheese and watching ridiculous amounts of TV shows on DVD. Ever watched an entire season of a show in a couple days? I have!

2. The only arguments I have are ones I choose to have.
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
20:37 / 01.06.07
See, THIS is a GOOD thread.
 
 
Seth
21:03 / 01.06.07
Every watched an entire season of a show in a couple days?

Erm... maybe...
 
 
Seth
21:08 / 01.06.07
BIG TANK! you should try my homemade bread.

Happily. Especially if we can get afro wigs and bake ourselves into statues.
 
 
grant
00:36 / 02.06.07
I am coming to all of your houses with my friend Mr. Large Knife and we are moving in with you.
 
  

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