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"The thing is, and no disrespect here Dave...id, but anyone who watches, or performs in, Eurovision is a prick" said one of my colleagues a few days ago. He looked slightly offended when I told him I didn't mind him saying that because he clearly had never had an original thought on the subject and all his comments for the past five mionutes betrayed a keen-ness to trot ou the same old jokes people have been making for years. I went on to dismiss his interests (rugby and playstation) in a similarly cavalier manner and was pleased to watch him storm off angrily.
Which is all by the by really. The important thing is that Eurovision is here! Less than a week to go until the most glamorous, gaudy, silly, well intentioned, and eccentric spectacle you could ever hope to gaze upon fills our screens.
I want to say here and now that I genuinely love Eurovision. I know it's faults but I don't care. There's something so earnest about it's intent that really warms my heart. And there's always at least one song that gets me humming for days. I love it and have fun with it but once I hear Te Deum blare out I find myself taking it seriously and getting into the spirit of the show. Terry Wogan always knows exactly how to pitch his commentaries and it's the one flaw in the sumptuous annual D.V.D. release that copyright clashes don't allow for it's inclusion.
It's not a co-incidence that my one weekend off in months happens to match the screening of the event and only the surprise postponement of that weeks Doctor Who has put a black flying insect of some sort in my Chardonay stlye sparkling grape drink.
I spent a pleasant few hours yesterday studying the form. I listened to all 42 entrants and YouTubed the best entrants. Here are my highlights from this years field and predictions -
* Latvia have fielded a Happy Shopper Il Divo and their big, swelling sound may do well.
* Andorra have gone for a McFly style protest song against war (MarkXFanshawe wanted a War style protest song against McFly) which will clog up the middle of the board.
* Germany have gone for the Teutonic Micheal Buble Cicero (that's Roger Cicero) and his swing number is catchy and will earn him a top ten slot (I've no idea what it's about but I think I heard Posh and Becks mentioned at one point).
* Switzerlands DJ Bobo is chasing after last years winning Goth vote and at one point in his dark masterpiece urges us to sell our souls. I'm not expecting a lot from this one.
* Israel go with a comedy song about the state of the world today (there's a lot of terror) catchily reminding us of the fear of mutually assured destruction. Expect flashing lights during the chorus and a big vote from the U.K.
* Russia have pinned their hopes on sex sells with a self proclaimed "dirty money track". All things being equal then they'd do well, but this is Eurovision and we do things differently here.
* Turkeys last minute change of entry might not go donw in musical history but it contains what is simultaneously the best and worst lyric of the year, "Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time/ I got lots of candy to make you mine."
* My personal favourite (and therefore not going to win) is Sweden with The Ark singing The Worrying Kind. If my life were the Big Screen spin off of a seventies sit-com it'd be the theme tune. It's a watered down Bolan tribute riding on the back of the Scissor Sisters popularity but it's got under my skin.
* We're not mentioning Scooch in my house, unless the words "Alan Cummings and Forbes Mason would be spinning in their grave if they were dead and for some reason buried in a shared plot" are part of the sentence. |
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