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The thread about threads you almost started, but then, um, didn't.

 
  

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Glenn Close But No Cigar
14:39 / 05.04.07
Have you ever thought of starting a thread, and then thought better of it? Why not tell Barbelith about it using this handy thread?

An example might be:

FORUM: Conversation

THREAD TOPIC: Who farted?

ABSTRACT: Barbeguff

POST CONTENTS: Bloody hell! Who did that then?

REASONS FOR NOT POSTING: Multiple, including (but not limited to):

1) Potential for being told 'whoever smelt it, dealt it'
2) Potential for the 'whoever said the rhyme, did the crime' comeback being trumped by further comebacks of sharply decreasing quality, for e.g. 'whoever told the story deserves the glory', 'whoever recited the stanza provided the bonanza', 'whoever said the ode needs to use the commode' etc.
3) The thought of dozens of 'lithers pressing their thumbs to their foreheads to put themselves above suspicion.
4) The fact that you can't smell another poster's farts on an internet talk board. Or at least only metaphorically.

*Ahem* All that aside, which threads have you almost started, but didn't?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:49 / 05.04.07
TOPIC: Fuck Off To Millarworld

ABSTRACT: All the fun of Barbelith, with none of the uptight PC snobs.

CONTENT: A list of names, including yours.

REASON NOT POSTED: Laziness.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:51 / 05.04.07
I guess instead of "uptight PC snobs" I could have posted "lingering traces of an expectation that the content of discussion should be in any way different from the locker room of Lobotomy FC".
 
 
Papess
14:52 / 05.04.07
I almost started a thread about Judge Judy, but then I thought "Then everyone will know that I watch Judge Judy!"...

Oh crap.
 
 
Spaniel
14:52 / 05.04.07
The cuddle/holding thread?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:53 / 05.04.07
"Lobotomised Bizarre-Readers FC" might be better.

TOPIC: The Twelve

ABSTRACT: A challenge

CONTENT: Name more than 12 regular posters at this point whom you'd let on your lifeboat after a shipwreck.

REASON NOT POSTED: Too difficult.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:55 / 05.04.07
Maybe if we all find the happy place?
 
 
Spaniel
14:57 / 05.04.07
The cuddle/holding thread?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
15:00 / 05.04.07
I almost started a Templeannoy thread, not for things happening in the Temple specifically but about annoying stuff in the broader world of witchy shit generally. Might still do that if I get wound up enough.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:11 / 05.04.07
FORUM: Conversation

THREAD TOPIC: This Is Not An Exit

ABSTRACT: For all those leaving the board permanently or temporarily, whether for reasons of self-imposed exile, travelling to Tibet, temporary homelessness, being driven away with crosses, torches and sickles etc.

POST CONTENTS: So, you're leaving us! Why not post your famous last words here?

REASONS FOR NOT POSTING: Laziness, ennui, the realisation that secretly people probably quite like starting goodbye threads and wouldn't really want to share that space with others ...

REASON IT WOULD BE QUITE A GOOD IDEA: Streamlining and space-saving in the Conversation
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:18 / 05.04.07
the realisation that secretly people probably quite like starting goodbye threads and wouldn't really want to share that space with others ...

Oh, absolutely. It's like the people who claim not to have been able to find an introduction thread before starting their own. I don't imagine they have looked very hard.
 
 
Glenn Close But No Cigar
15:28 / 05.04.07
Blimey. That's a bit strong, Flyboy. Would you mind letting me know exactly what you think I've said here that might deserve this response? While I'm not sure that I really need to point this out, my post accused nobody, least of all you, of being an uptight PC Snob, as your post suggests. I don't even know what PC is, beyond a right wing chimera. I do know, however, that it's hard to apply this dubious notion to farting, which is after all a blessedly universal activity.

To clarify, the 'who farted' non-thread was intended as an example of exactly the kind of thing that should remain a non-thread on Barbelith. I didn't think I'd need to point this out, so instead of writing...

REASON NOT POSTED: Would lower tone of the board to that of the other Scottish comics writer's temple to inanity, and prompt a fellow poster to fantasise about who he'd allow onto his imaginary lifeboat.

...I wrote some fairly harmless fluff about applying thumbs to foreheads.

So, sorry if I've been the cause of any confusion to you. Hope this clears things up.
 
 
Disco is My Class War
19:51 / 06.04.07
FORUM: Conversation

THREAD TOPIC: Sorry!

ABSTRACT: An apology.

POST CONTENTS: Sorry, people, for being too cynical, too quick to judge, for disagreeing, for expressing my opinions without couching them in 'but I like you and I want you to like me' crap. Sorry for dropping disapproving posts into threads and not returning to pick up the pieces, or even to explain myself should my comments be too obscure. Sorry for being generally the cranky grandpa you detest hanging out with at Christmas and who smells slightly or stale urine to boot. Sorry, Barbelith, I keep reminding myself to write a goodbye post and then scramble my password, but I can't even be bothered doing that. Plus I post so rarely nowadays that no-one cares.

REASONS FOR NOT POSTING: I'm probably not that sorry, really.
 
 
Spaniel
19:56 / 06.04.07
The cuddle/holding thread?
 
 
Red Concrete
20:52 / 06.04.07
FORUM: Conversation

THREAD TOPIC: You're Bad!

ABSTRACT: A place where we draw together all the instances of ignorant or bigotted or just plain wrong behaviour that we find on Barbelith

POST CONTENTS: I find it very difficult to track who said what on Barbelith. Do you? Do you notice little jibes here or there against this or that poster, and don't know why? Do you find it hard trawling through past years to track the minutiae of inter-poster relationships? This thread is the answer.

Please follow this format in your post:

WHO SAID IT:

WHERE WAS IT SAID: link

WHO PULLED THEM UP ON IT:

WHAT WAS OFFENSIVE ABOUT IT:


REASONS FOR NOT POSTING: The Fear that the first reply would be:

WHO SAID IT: Red Concrete

WHERE WAS IT SAID: right here

WHO PULLED THEM UP ON IT: me

WHAT WAS OFFENSIVE ABOUT IT: The facetious tone of the poster in assuming that people on this board are unjustifiably vindictive, while being too lazy to read the top one or two threads in each forum.
 
 
This Sunday
06:30 / 07.04.07
I had considered posting a thread to Conversation about things that are 'better than they deserve to be', however, I was struck by how pompous and horribly alterable that phrase was, even if I was going to start out with 'Bad Boyz II', 'Split Second', and Philip Farmer's fanfic porno novels. Because nothing's actually awarded quality-points for anything other than actual quality. Unless it's for hype, I guess.
 
 
astrojax69
06:43 / 07.04.07
fuck it fable. i was just gunna start this one...
 
 
Benny the Ball
08:03 / 07.04.07
the holding/cuddle thread?
 
 
Tryphena Absent
10:29 / 07.04.07
I just wrote a list of 12 people who I would let on my lifeboat. Then I realised that they don't post enough to be deemed regular. I was going for Gourami, idperfections, a number of other people but- yeah, no. It would have made me sad but I don't care enough so I laughed instead.
 
 
Spaniel
10:44 / 07.04.07
I was going to start a thread on how bloody depressing this thread is.
 
 
Spaniel
10:44 / 07.04.07
But then I laughed instead
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:09 / 07.04.07
This thread is depressing you? It's utterly absurd. You need to leave the house more.
 
 
Spaniel
12:36 / 07.04.07
I just did. I feel better now, thanks.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
12:38 / 07.04.07
Oh that's good. It would be sad if barbelith made you a weeping figure of the person you once were.
 
 
Princess
01:21 / 08.04.07
Weirdly, I was going to make this thread. But then I realise I would ahve to name all the threads I didn't start. Which would be bad, because some of them are really, really, really stupid.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
02:53 / 08.04.07
FORUM: Conversation

THREAD TOPIC: The thread for people who are drunk but RIGHT

ABSTRACT: oh man I mean wtf dude I would totally never say this but wtf dude you need a lot of hate you fucking jerk. Really.

POST CONTENTS: *link to thing that I'm WTFing about.*

REASONS FOR NOT POSTING: Have not yet learned to coherent through RED MIST.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:55 / 11.04.07
I'd just like to apologise for my initial response in this thread. The recent Epop fiasco to name but one thing has reminded me that there are far more deserving targets of ire than the first post in this thread, and also that there are always people here doing their best to make Barbelith a decent neighbourhood (in a very specific sense). So yeah: my bad.
 
 
Glenn Close But No Cigar
13:30 / 11.04.07
Thanks, Flyboy. Appreciate it.
 
 
Dutch
21:13 / 11.04.07
I was thinking about posting a thread about my %super-original idea% that the internet represents a brain. In this brain, the majority of it, is controlled by the major aspects of what I perceive to be the human brain. Those being namely; instinct, impulse, (repressed) emotion basic dreams, materialistic perception. As higher functions of this collective cyber-culture brain that we are building, expanding and evolving, I would put cognitive function, reason, empathy, evolved dreams, telepathy, etc.

I would then ask people if there was a possibility of using a metaphor like the brain on a massively technological cross-cultural level. And if so, what ideas they had on the metaphor as far as being usefull, and what ideas of their own they had concerning this strange entity that seems somehow designed for a cross-cultural evolution towards global understanding.

I never posted it because I figured there had to be another thread here on the barb discussing this that I couldn't find, and my ideas became too muddled in my own private mini-brain to actually form a coherent thread-starting post, as is clearly visible in this post.
 
 
Shiny: Well Over Thirty
16:38 / 15.04.07
FORUM: Film, TV, and Theatre

THREAD: The Wesley Wyndam-Pryce Thread

ABSTRACT: A thread in which we obsess over the most amazing character in the Whedon-Verse, and quite possibly the best TV character ever.

POST CONTENTS: Okay, we all know it Wesley was the greatest character in the Buffy-Verse, and had easily the best story arc in Buffy or Angel, as well as being portrayed by the best actor. Here’s where we discuss all aspects of the amazing character that is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, from the wanker phase in Buffy S3, to the geeky nice guy in early Angel, to the late phase Angel incarnation as ruthless, dangerous loon. Especially his final scene. The one piece of TV that actually makes me cry. And so and so forth for a good deal longer.

REASON FOR NOT POSTING: Firstly it’s fluff, and much as Wesley takes up quite a lot of my brain, a thread for him separate from the various Buffy/Angel threads on the board would probably be almost as unwelcome as new separate threads for each issue of the invisibles. Secondly the assumption that I might be the only one that would post to it – and I might therefore be a little humiliated. Thirdly I’m never sure it’s really wise to let people I don’t know that well know exactly how much time I spend thinking about Wesley. They might consider me a little, well odd.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:09 / 15.04.07
Dude, I'd totally post to it! Wesley FTW!
 
 
Shiny: Well Over Thirty
18:46 / 15.04.07
Hmmmmm. I might have to revaluate not starting it. Not tonight thought. Something or other has turned my brayne pleasantly squishy today, and I don’t think I’m quite equipped to do Wesley justice right at the minute……
 
 
Whisky Priestess
11:03 / 16.04.07
I too will post.

Although I've never seen the last episode of Angel, so you-all had better not spoil me.

Even better, someone lend me the last episode of Angel and I can end the suspense ...
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
23:50 / 12.06.07
FORUM: Conversation

THREAD TOPIC: Thread-killer Paranoids Anonymous

ABSTRACT: Do your posts seem to hang at the end of a conversation with just a slight sense of... social awkwardness? Do your jokes seem, the next day... just a teeny bit lame?

POST CONTENTS: "My name is Sibelian and I suffer from thread-killer paranoia" (applause, cries of "woo hoo", hugs and the dashing away of manly tears)

REASONS FOR NOT POSTING: Fear of exquisite irony.
 
 
Triplets
23:54 / 12.06.07
(psst no one post to this thread anymore)
 
  

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