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Plan for future art exhibits:
In the centre of a symbolically empty white room, a bucket is placed. It is cheap, and plastic, and *YELLOW* and possibly cost £1.99 from Homebase, or some such store . The Title of the piece, displayed prominently on a small white card is "I dare you to Give me lots of Money".
At the end of every Day of the exhibition, any money in the bucket is collected, and spent on drugs.
At the end of the exhibition, I send press releases to all major newspapers, TV companies, and art magazines complaining about literalist philistines who violated my work by actually *Giving Me Lots Of Money* when the piece was *actually* supposed to be a demonstration of what a tight-fisted bunch of bastards the local art-loving community are.
Then, having recieved lots of publicity, I sell the bucket, the newspaper clippings, and the press releases to an art-buyer, making myself still more money.
This, I shall spend on drugs.
What d'ya think?
My next artwork will be called, "Cutting out the middleman: I dare you to give me Drugs". which will consist of me sitting in said symbolic white room, with 20 packs of skins, fags, and an empty pint glass, asking people to give me drugs, which I will then take, as a demonstration of the state of hedonism in the early 21st century.
When the exhibition is completed, I will then sell my now-drug-impregnated hair and bodily fluids, along with any tape recordings of any drug addled banter I may produce, paranoid scribblings, and videotape of me being drug-addled, to any art collector, who, upset at missing his opportunity to buy my bucket, will pay even more for a sample of my piss.
I will then use this money to buy some drugs. |
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