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mw, if you're not interested in offering gourami help/advice on how to deal constructively with the situation, please clear the hell out of the thread. I don't want to speak for gourami, but it's not her place or anyone else's to explain to you why this is offensive. Go figure it out someplace else.
That doesn't feel entirely fair. I did take up some space on the thread asking for the "jokes" to be explained, but that was because I didn't understand the language in the first, and unfortunately didn't quite grasp the cultural connotations of the second. When others took the time to do that, I agreed. I'm grateful for that, and I'm sorry that it wasn't directly on the topic of helping gourami deal with the problem, but I don't think it's offensive to ask for something to be explained because it's culturally specific.
When it was explained, I gave advice above. It was advice that, overall, Haus tended to agree with (I suppose I'm using Haus as a reference-point for reasonable response on this thread).
That's aside from mentioning you have sympathies for an evidently racist asshole, even in the process of saying those sympathies are misguided. Don't go digging that hole any deeper, now.
Look, I'm sorry it came across badly to you, but "digging a hole" here seems like another way of saying "being open about your own responses and trying to examine them in public". To me, that's quite healthy. I recognised that I had some weird feeling of reserve about this guy being booted from his job, and "unpacked" that, all the while saying (as you note) that it was probably misguided and over-charitable, and bound up with my own previous experience as a junior academic in a precarious career position.
If it means exposing my prejudices and having them corrected and addressed, then I don't see that as digging a hole... or maybe I see digging a hole as something positive, if you invite people to look at the hole, see why you dug it and help you get out and fill it in. (Ouch.) |
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