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Does Barbelith Need A Decompression Chamber?

  
  

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Princess
19:03 / 26.02.07
OK. So I've been on Barbelith a while now, and I like it very much. However, it's causing me problems in the rest of the internet. Itmight just be me, but is the rest of the internet a bit unpleasant and stupid?
I've just argued with a guy about Steak and Blowjob day, I've just argued with a guy about gender normativity, I've just argued with a guy about Blonde jokes.
Is it just me? Am I just an aggressive person with poor choice of internets? Or is the internet on the whole rubbish?
 
 
petunia
19:06 / 26.02.07
You mean there are... other websites?
 
 
illmatic
19:07 / 26.02.07
I think you know the answer.
 
 
Princess
19:10 / 26.02.07
Yes, I thought I did.
You've got me worried now though..
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
20:22 / 26.02.07
Yeah, but it's not just the internet. Everything's shit.
 
 
Dutch
20:46 / 26.02.07
Things that aren't shit, aren't, Mordant, although I suspect one is more in need of a huggle than an attempt at a smart-ass comment.
 
 
Spaniel
07:17 / 27.02.07
I don't even try to engage with messageboards other than Barbelith. Every one I come across seems positively troglyditic after being a member of this place.

Course there was a time, ooooh about 8 years ago, when I was a very active member of the Force.Net, caught up in the tidal wave of hopeful geekery before the release of The Phantom Menace. I look back in utter, utter horror.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
08:19 / 27.02.07
I'm pretty sure the formula goes that 90% of everything is crap. That applies to the web and internet, only moreso.
 
 
Red Concrete
09:35 / 27.02.07
I'm not trying to be controversial, but I don't find the Conversation hugely different from the rest of the internet. I read a couple of other boards, and the ones where there are few or no children are just as informative and witty. Although... maybe you're referring to the proportion of in-jokes?
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
14:13 / 27.02.07
What are you talking about you Doomlord? If you don't want me to light your arsecandles and feed you the gay-making bread until you can smell nonces and their relatively oversized chickens you better stop with all this nonsense, you hear?

It upsets the owls. Can you hear them?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:19 / 27.02.07
Is a decompression chamber more or less the same as an airlock?
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:24 / 27.02.07
which Bond film features a decompression chamber?
 
 
jamesPD
14:41 / 27.02.07
which Bond film features a decompression chamber?

There's a scene in one of the Timothy Dalton films (Licence to Kill IIRC.)
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:47 / 27.02.07
that's the one! Thank you.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
17:37 / 27.02.07
It has come to my attention--well, not recently, but oodles of time ago--that I spend anywhere from 75% to 85% of my time on the Internet here. I make the usual forays into Television Without Pity and other minor sites, but this is the only place I'll post. I used to try to post on the forums at TWoP, only to be horrified at every single post, poster, and topics. I am ashamed to admit I at least spend half-an-hour each day on Myspace. Not so much craigslist anymore, except for reading the Missed Connections because I need that shred of hilarity.

Barbelith has spoiled me for eternity.
 
 
Princess
08:12 / 07.03.07
OK, hello decompression chamber. Having an argument elsewhere on the internet. Would welcome all of your input in helping me RAIN DOWN FIRE UPON THEM.

What have I forgotten, what have I done wrong. (Other than coming off as pretentious).

Apologies for the dense formatting.


You wrote
on Feb 23, 2007 at 7:54 AM
Valentine's day isn't for women. It's for Folk Catholics and greetings card companies.
WHy cant women have oral sex and dead cow too?

Post #3Fred Roberts (The King's School Canterbury) replied to your post
on Feb 24, 2007 at 3:45 PM
Dude you know how i know you're gay... girls dont need oral sex and they don't appreciate dead cow like us men. March 14th is a great day and us men deserve it.Reply to Fred

Post #4Naomi King (London) wrote
on Feb 25, 2007 at 3:02 AM
I absolutely love dead cow and head even more

Post #5
You wrote on Feb 26, 2007 at 12:46 PM
Um, firstly, me being "Gay" is irrelevant because I can still talk to Women and find out their opinions. (I'm not actually Gay, but nice stereotyping). Secondly, men don't "need" oral sex either. It's a gift that people give to each other for reasons other than survival. Thirdly "us men" assumes an awful lot about my personal gender identification and the gender identification of the other people reading the thread. Fourthly, as a non woman, how the crazy fuck can you know about how much women enjoy steak?

If I were to call you a phallogocentric misogynist would you take offence?

Post #6Oli Kingshott (Sevenoaks School) wrote
on Feb 26, 2007 at 3:56 PM
"Girls don't need oral sex"

Gah, if this guy's right, I've slept with loads of men!

Post #7Jon Betts (Exeter UK) wrote
on Mar 4, 2007 at 5:29 PM
no offence ben, but this group is just abit of a joke. the reason it's just for men is because a man created the group, and felt that he wasn't getting as much action as he would of liked hehe. i'm sure a lady has created a group like this somewhere, as i'm sure many of them could argue that they need a day dedicated to them just as much as a man does. and what is this about oral sex? no-one needs it, it's just a freebie that comes with a 14oz steak

Post #8Alex Lister (Spain) replied to your post about an hour ago
Ben, whilst you have every right to take offence to the blatant chauvinism being exhibited here (albeit humorously), it is a little ironic that you choose to use the phrase 'phallogocentric misogynist'. Even if it were spelt correctly (which it isn't), the phrase means 'penis-loving marriage-hater'. This surely implies that the reciprocant of this insult is gay and isn't that what you took offence to in the first place?

By the way everyone else... love the group, love dead cow, love getting head - and most women like it as well because although they pretend to get offended, a lot of them secretly enjoy it when men act 'manly'. - Bring it on!

Post #9You replied to your post
Um, phallogocentric doesn't mean penis-loving, that would be phalliphilic. Phallogo is a portmateux of phallus and logos. Phallogocentric describes a world view where qualities are organised according to binary distinction (light/dark, good/bad, male/female etc) and one part of the pair is considered superior to the other. Google "'Écriture féminine" for more.

And, "gyno" isn't marriage. It's the opposite of "Andro", meaning male. Hence gynocology.

The fact it's intended to be funny is irrelivant. What he's saying is damaging. It's an attack on women, a lie about what females really are. Every word that people broadcast affects the society around them, saying that women are something they are not is damaging for women. Implying that women are one homogenous group who all think the same way is damaging. Implying that somehow women have stolen Febuary the 14th from men (because they are all sappy sacharrinne Valentine's Day loving fools) is damaging.

The sex of the starter isn't relevant either. Saying "it's like this because a man started it" is frankly offensive. I am a man. I would not have started the group like this. I love S&B day, it's great. But the group didn't need to set up women as the enemy.

I'd like to think that having a penis isn't an excuse to abuse women. Though the gimp who replied to me first might have been laughing, it doesn't stop what he said being abuse.

And, um,(offtopic) being called Gay isn't what offended me. I like gay guys, my fiance is one. What offended me was the idea that you have to put your penis into a woman to understand her.
 
 
angel
18:19 / 07.03.07
And, um,(offtopic) being called Gay isn't what offended me. I like gay guys, my fiance is one. What offended me was the idea that you have to put your penis into a woman to understand her

And with that last sentance my heart stopped and the world exploded! Go you! I unfortunately have nothing else of use to add to that.
 
 
Kirin? Who the heck?
20:49 / 07.03.07
I've found myself being told by straight men that I can't possibly really understand women. Thanks for 'you [don't] have to put your penis into a woman to understand her' – nothing more needs to be said.

It happens in other areas, too. I've been told that, as a non-driver, I can't possibly understand the pain it caused all of humanity when our sixth-form car park was moved such that it is now 50 metres from the common room rather than ten (these people also lobbied for my removal as a form representative based on my support for the decision). I walk further than that to get there each day, bah.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
01:04 / 08.03.07
(these people also lobbied for my removal as a form representative based on my support for the decision)

Of course they did. You monster.


As for the topic at hand, I don't really spend time on any other message boards. When I by chance come across an example of stupidity or a particularly nasty or offensive comment (or a message board full of the same), I pretty much ignore it and either hunt for something of value or I leave the place entirely. If their behavior and remarks drive away good people, it's the message board or poster that's going to suffer for it eventually. But it's something I put up with a lot outside of Barbelith, so maybe I'm just used to it.
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
02:00 / 08.03.07
princess, you're my new god of articulate. what kind of response did you get?
 
 
Princess
07:08 / 08.03.07
No response as yet.
Tuna Ghost, I'm normally the same. But this is Facebook and I use it to arrange stuff with my friends and a couple of editors.

Also, I love Steak and Blowjob Day. I don't want them to darken the most romantic day of the year.
 
 
Princess
16:46 / 08.03.07
Argh. My brain hurts.

Alex Lister (Spain) replied to your post
7 hours ago

Did you ever hear the expression 'if you find a joke racist then you are one?' Just a thought...

Anyway, not being one to rely on dogma I concede your point about the word 'phallogocentric'. It is a word (but only in the same way as words like the Joycian term 'epiphanic'). However the same cannot be said about your misinterpretation of the word misogynist. It is important to recognise the distinction between etymology and definition. Whilst anyone with a smattering of classical languages can break down the word into its constituent parts (creating a portmanteau if you will...), to interpret the word properly one must have an idea of its connotations. All I can say is - look it up!

Anyway I don’t want to get embroiled in a semantic argument so I just have one question for you Ben, and please don’t take this in any way as an insult. Due to you saying you weren’t gay, but your fiancé is a gay man, and because of your reference to ‘gender identification’, my question is this… are you a pre-op transsexual?

Chris L (London) wrote
6 hours ago
To say that Valentines day isn't for women is naive. I don't know about anyone else but every woman i've dated has expected me to pay for meal and book a resturaunt even IF they reciprocated the presents. Also i'd personally rather celebrate on a day when i didn't have to pay throughmy skin for the same meal i'd get any other day but what the hell...

That said i think Valentines day is Steak and Blowjob day anyway. The man chooses the resturaunt (so could have steak), forks out on a present, and then (well in my case) expects some kind of reward ie: a blowjob. I'd be pretty pissed if after all that effort i didn't get any love!

Oh and if Steak and Blow-job day does recieve recognition i'll be happy to recognise Salad and Muff-diving day too!

ps. My grammer/spelling is bad and i don't have a fucking clue about latin...sorry!Reply to Chris
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Post #12
1 replyRotimi Williams (The King's School Canterbury) replied to your post
3 hours ago
It was not meant as an offensive comment to women...If you have watched 40 year old virgin you would understand the references. I also feel that by calling the guy who replied to you a gimp it is slightly unecessary as you had already made your previous point clear. So you are gay then? no offence intended and who said gave the impression 'that you have to put your penis into a woman to understand her. ' no idea. As much as I love the fact that you are sticking up for women everywhere but you're missing the whole point of his comment. You have made a scene for no reason. Unfortunately valentines day is more female orientated I know thats not the orginal idea but it is, face the facts. I want to thank you because I have spent a decent amount of time laughing at the sheer amount of crap you've written on this page and hope all women create a Ben wilson appreciation society. I would like to say you spend far to much time trying to show off your vocabulary and quite clearly you are being very pretentious and who speaks like that its facebook, not a bloody doctorate it is also obvious that you have looked up these words to look clever but if you have to resort to using gimp dear you are a joker....I'm so glad we have a comedian in this group...thank youReply to Rotimi
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Post #13You replied to Rotimi's post
19 minutes ago
Whether or not it was "meant" to be offensive isn't really important Rotimi. It still *is* offensive to me.

No Rotimi, I'm not gay. It says so in my post. I'll repeat it again. I'm not gay. Further it wouldn't be relevant if I was Dale bloody Winton dressed in a rainbow flag.

No one said the exact words "you have to put your penis in a woman to understand her". What someone did say was that my perceived gayness meant that I couldn't understand a woman. Which amounts to the same thing really.

Maybe for you valentines day is more about women than men. In my experience it's not. I don't see why it should be. No-one as yet has tried to explain why Febuary the 14th can't be enjoyed by people with knobs.

Thanks for the comments about my writing style. If you could point out which bits you found annoying and then rephrase them into the whatever you think is the "proper" way to talk on Facebook I'd appreciate it. I didn't need a dictionary for the words, because I'm interested in gender theory and know them anyway, but if you can think of a better way of saying it then please, do let on.

You saying I'm "making a scene for no reason" is a bit worrying. I'm making a scene because I think some of the thinking in this group is damaging for women. That's very important.

Also, I haven't watched 40 year old virgin. I'd imagine most people haven't. It's really not my job to pick up on references to obscure films. Reply to Your Post
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Post #14You replied to Alex's post
one minute ago
Um, that's a fairly personal question isn't it? If I was, which I'm not, I'd probably wonder why you had a right to that information and why it would have any bearing on the conversation? The gender-identity thing wasn't really relavent to the conversation, so I shouldn't have brought it up really. I was just pissed off that I was being thrown into a group called "us men" when that would mean I was at all like the guy using it. Not that I do identify as a man anyway, but anyway, it was irrelevant. If people want to go into the specifics it then I suggest they join one of the queer groups on facebook. (Not gay, "queer". It's got some fairly different meanings in an LGBT context).

Oh, and the dictionary definition of misogyny can be found at the link below. All I can say is - look it up!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/misogyny

Also, I haven't heard the expression "if you find a joke racist then you are one?". I think this is probably because my friends don't talk bollocks to me. Recognising that what someone else says is prejudiced doesn't mean that I am prejudiced. If I think the statement "All women are whores" offensive that doesn't make me a woman-hater. It just means I have the ability to read a sentence in context.

For clarity, the first post is to Rotimi (the one without paragraphs) and the second is for Alex (the one who wants to know about my possible pre-op status).

I'm pretty sure that I'm coming off as condescending. But I'm finding it harn not to be. These people do, on the whole, go to universsities. At universities there are sociology students, and psychology students and even if there's not there's still annoying Lit students like myself. How can these people not see that the questions they are asking are offensive? I don't think there's much hope of acheiving much here tbh. But I'd like to think that if anyone does come upon the thread then they will at least see that one person was trying to be an ok person.

Maybe I'd more effective if I tried to seem less angry about all of it? And if I used a slightly less essay-like vocabulary? And maybe if I hadn't all but called that Rotimi fool stupid?

Guh. This is hard and I don't think I am doing very well.
 
 
MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!
17:08 / 08.03.07
I think you're doing very well, and not being condescending. You can read the discomfort -- I get a feeling that they know you're right, but they just can't knuckle down and say "okay" so they keep falling back on the tired side arguments.
 
 
Princess
17:11 / 08.03.07
There is more. Huzzah!


Alex Lister (Spain) replied to your post
26 minutes ago
Misogamy, misogyny Hatred of marriage, of women (gk miseo hate gamos marriage)

The Oxford English Dictionary.
(I hate to have to resort to this)

PS You mentioned that your fiance is a gay man - how do you reconcile this? Oh and the racist quote - Boris Johnson
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Post #16You replied to Alex's post
one minute ago
Um, you didn't click the link did you? Gameo is not the same as gyno. It's irrelivant anyway. Just assume that everytime I use the word I'm refering to the crazy, made-up version that me and the rest of the english speaking world think is right.

You are aware that Boris Johnson is constantly in the news for saying stupid stuff about minorities and women right? He's a guy who forgot the title of his own book whilst he was writing it. Maybe best to just leave him out of complex thinking and let him carry on having fun as a conservative politician.

Re: my fiance. Well, that's really none of your bussiness and I hope you don't take offence if I decide not to tell you. If you want more information about possible ways I might reconcile it then you might want to google genderqueer as a word. I'm not comfortable discussing the minutae of my gender in a group that I think is already having problems dealing with people who are women. I think introducing a third gender might be a bit much of a distraction atm.

Anyway, this isn't getting anyone anywhere. Word meanings, my gender and my unfortunate ability to use long words aren't really rellavent. Let' get back to the original question.

Why is this day just for men? Why do people think that valentines day is just for women?
 
 
Princess
17:12 / 08.03.07
You will, of course, notice my normally scary spelling has been given full rein in the above. After all, it's just facebook.
 
 
Psych Safeling
19:51 / 08.03.07
Hello Princess. I was going to comment, as I was thinking about this on my bicycle this morning, that it was strange that the quality of the board seemed to be reflected in the quality of your posts, like you 'up your game' for Barbelith, as you knock up with the veritable Bjorn Borgs of internet posting, here a punishing smash; there a stunning volley. You are one of my new favourite posters on Barbelith, and your copied and pasted quotes didn't reflect the coruscation I've learned to expect to enjoy. However, the later posts are absolute class and my (flighty) admiration is reinflated to the point of critical tumescence. In fact, I might have to go and Barbecrush you right now. Oh no, wait, I can't, because I am gynos and therefore I can only crush a misanthropic phallus. Or an anphallophilic phallus. A misphallistic andros?
 
 
HeartShadow
21:20 / 08.03.07
Sounds to me like a lot of insecure men who only feel confident if they can put down women. Yuck.

And yeah, whoever quoted Sturgeon's Law above is right. 90% of the net (at least) is crap. That doesn't mean there isn't good stuff out there, but it is a pain in the rump to find.

And while I don't believe in pigeonholing people based on gender, I do think some people can be pigeonholed by ATTITUDE. And theirs sucks. Yuck.

I'm sorry you had to put up with those losers. I would have wanted a flamethrower. Heck, reading it secondhand makes me want a flamethrower!
 
 
Princess
08:10 / 09.03.07
I certainly do put more effort into my posts on Barbelith. If I fuck up on here someone will right me for it, which makes me think before I write. It's the kind of fear that I think is useful.

On facebook I'm really not as bothered.
Thanks all for comments. I'm feeling a lot less antsy about the whole thing now.
 
 
Princess
09:19 / 09.03.07
Oh God. I've just gone back to Facebook.
It hurts. Oh God it hurts.
 
 
Princess
09:22 / 09.03.07
In other facebook news, the other Aberystwyth Pagan has had only one idea about what local Pagans could do.

It was to flier like the Christian Union, just to "show them".

I despair.
 
 
HeartShadow
10:58 / 09.03.07
Show them .. that Pagans can be just as stupid and obnoxious as the worst of the Godmongering Christians?

Gee. What a brilliant idea. *eyeroll*

Remind me to stay away from Facebook.
 
 
Princess
11:05 / 09.03.07
It annoys me because it has a pretty good networking system. It's just full of people, and people can be so dissapointing.

Actually, anyone else here on facebook? We could create a mini Facebelith.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:22 / 09.03.07
We could call it Backpatbook.
 
 
Ex
12:11 / 09.03.07
Faceknifebook, surely.
 
 
Closed for Business Time
13:27 / 09.03.07
I'm on the book, yeah. Mainly use it to remember folks' birthdays and email-addresses... I'm not sure it's worth contaminating our precious 'lith-time with nasty Fuckbook, is it? Besides, it's got lots of veracious info about me there... I'm scared of your witchy powers, I guess #)
 
  

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