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Journalistic Scoops of the Millennium

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:28 / 24.02.07

Chair destroyed.

and, even BETTER...

Trolley damages car.

All I'm sayin' is, Sax better hope his career as a novelist takes off- I think the world of journalism may be getting a little too hot for a man of his advancing years, judging by this new breed.

Jack Denfeld

00:44 / 24.02.07

The comments section of the chair story had me chuckling.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:47 / 24.02.07

I found that on page 5 of today's Times, believe it or not. Both have great comments.

Olulabelle

01:06 / 24.02.07

Slow news day Stoatie?!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

01:16 / 24.02.07

Slow news is good news.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

02:51 / 24.02.07

The comments section of the trolley story is initially entertaining and eventually depressing. A bit like the story itself.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

02:56 / 24.02.07

I don't know... I've been reading it for about the last hour, and I'm absolutely cock-a-hoop at just how passionate people are getting about it. They've just broken out the bold... this could get nasty...

Triplets

02:56 / 24.02.07

I've got a right big boil on my chin and it's Tescos fault!!

Our Lady Has Left the Building

06:05 / 24.02.07

I love those comments.

This story has affected me so much that I decided to compose a poem to vent my anguish..

Chair, Chair - over there?
Chair, Chair - on fire!
Chavs and Younglings everywhere.
His cells have the highest concentration of
midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

08:20 / 24.02.07

The comments of the chair story are great, especially when the journalist and a friend pop in to 'fess up.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

09:17 / 24.02.07

Yeah, the chair comments are better, but they too get depressing too once the references to ch*vs being at fault for the fire kick in, just as in the case of the trolley comments.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

19:21 / 24.02.07

It's good to know that the Sun has its eye on the most important details of the trial: 'Bomb flat' had Meatloaf CDs. Maybe not much of a scoop - though have the rest of the media reported this no doubt staggering snippet of evidence? The men who lived in the flat also had Michael Bolton CDs to hand, and perhaps this could be the moment at which the jury's collective mind is made up on the accused's guilt or otherwise.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:55 / 24.02.07

Of course, if it had been Marilyn Manson...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:56 / 24.02.07

I like the bit about an "anti-terror leaflet" being found, too. I assume they mean the leaflets that were sent to every house in Britain, yes?

Tsuga

21:10 / 24.02.07

Well, the local paper here currently has this front page headline:

Wellness center: no money for pool

and the sideline:

DOT vows safety
Guardrails promised for Barnard

Page 12 has a colorful story, the first in a two-part series:

Hog killing bring memories flooding back

God, this thing is GOLD. Page 18 has
Wildfire runs uphill, damages trailer

And there's more. Man, I love this place. I'll keep you all apprised of the second part of Hog killing. Maybe I'll transcribe the whole thing.

penitentvandal

15:16 / 25.02.07

I've been in Alicante for a week with the wife, visiting the mother in law, and I have to say the ex-pat papers there are GOLD. Pages and pages of shit about the bowling club results, people having problems with their electricity, and the local drama society productions, all interspersed with letters complaining about how hard it is to get British benefits in Spain and 'columnists' wittering on and on about how Britain is shit and it's all because of political correctness gone MAD!!!! It's fantastic.

Seth

00:24 / 26.02.07

This story has affected me so much that I decided to compose a poem to vent my anguish..

Chair, Chair - over there?
Chair, Chair - on fire!
Chavs and Younglings everywhere.
His cells have the highest concentration of
midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form

This is the funniest thing I think I've read in ages. Was in tears at my desk.

Triplets

02:32 / 26.02.07

I am going for a second glass of water. Continued on page 2.

Saveloy

09:03 / 26.02.07

One for the "Well I Never!" file:

Sailors Caught in Drunken Brawl

Next up: Cowboys Smash Chairs In Bar Room Punch Up

penitentvandal

09:35 / 26.02.07

Det Con Catherine King, of Avon and Somerset Police, who was on duty that Saturday night with two colleagues, told the court martial when she spoke to Lt Frith she "did smell of intoxicating liqueur".

"She appeared tearful and she spoke quite quickly," she said.

"I formed the opinion she was drunk and upset."

Nothing - absolutely nothing - gets past the eagle eyes of the Great British Police Force...

Mon Oncle Ignatius

12:12 / 26.02.07

Of course, were it Private Eye doing the reporting of the constable's description, artistic licence would have allowed them to have substituted their more usual "tired and emotional" instead, purely for comic effect.

Triplets

12:22 / 26.02.07

Tut. It's never a sober brawl is it, sailors.

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