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It's the contents of my mobile phone text message inbox thread!

  
 
A Bigger Boat
14:36 / 22.02.07
Hiya its ----------, how are you doing? Im laid up with a mischivius back.. (I know i cant spell) i feel miserable, good television though, inspector morse!

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No it was my fierce spirit and competitive nature that did it! So you can put your consience at rest

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Tempted, maybe a time when i've got more energy - try three in the morning

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Whats up honey? Got my mum here at mo, trying to pick a colour for my lounge!

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Thats not silly, i know the feeling. I really can sympathise. My phone never rings either! Whats her name?

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Sorry to miss you. Hope all goes well for you in every way possible. Love ----------- x

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Invite crazy shit into your life, and crazy shit happens. When are you off this week?

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at the end of the day you got to enjoy the moment

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heres to you buddy, hope it all works out in the best possible way

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Hey, i hope you feel happier tomorrow. dont like you to be down x

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Morning am hung over - got home at three drank alot of champagne! Have date with ------- the dancer tonight

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Tube journey was awful - hey you free saturday night ?

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I could pop over x

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Bills are 44.72 this month.
 
 
Triplets
15:07 / 22.02.07
You seem to have a lot of peeps who give a shit about you, Boat. Rock on. Here's mine:




Seriously! I just reloaded and you were gone! Man, you really pissed Tom off.

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Yeah, but this time don't list your occupation as anarchist.

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Alrighty mate, just woke up. Still feel crackered, soz.

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Fuckin' hell lad hurry up bin standin ere for ages.

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Off2bed now coz I'm on earlys. U're more than welcome to come with us on Saturday. RAVE ON!! xx

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Hey. Hope I didn't wake you. On my way 2 work. How fuckin early&cold! Not heard anythin from Nic. Fuck it! She wants to be like that she can. God I'm freezin. BRR! x

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Dude, so you know my email addy is _____________________

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Hi dude, never got a chance to get back to you yday. How are you?

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Hey lad, we ended up seein Hot Fuzz. Her dad's been kicked out?! :O

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Got me hair cut watchin count duckula got some dye in it too lol

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We'll have to write each other a lil monthly catchup column lol. I'll get crackin on mine 2moz. How've u bin? xx

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Hey lad, u out tonight?

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Slapped legs for her!! How many u waitin to hear from? I'm watchin some visual crime lol! I hate havin missed numbers, especially house ones. GRR!! x
 
 
COG
15:45 / 22.02.07
Wow, what a sick ego blast. I´m in - here you are.

Coming tmrw for the match? We can meet at 7.15 outside the library. We're meeting some people.

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Hey kant make it tnight. Rain check?

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Quedamos a las 8:15 en la parada d metro d paralel,ok?

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Hi!I´m not free till 8 approx. Do you want to meet for a beer or something to eat?

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Hi!Do you fancy a beer tonight? In about half an hour?

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Hey. U free tomorrow night? I´m meeting that guy Gary off the forums and his wife/mates. Lemme know and I´ll email u tomorrow with details. Catch ya.

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Hi Cog!I´m coming back from manlleu!tomorrow i´m in andorra,if i´m back early i´ll give you a call. See you soon!

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Tu saldo basico a fecha 12/02/07 es inferior a 3 euros.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:52 / 22.02.07
So, the message here is that our friends have terrible, terrible grammar?
 
 
COG
15:58 / 22.02.07
You should see bi-lingual texting. Choose the word which is shortest in whichever language, and then abrieviate it.

voy a qdarme here. nos vemos at 9 mom, 4 a beer, en plz d Sol?
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
16:35 / 22.02.07
My particular favourite text message from my inbox: What are you hurling into the gaping maw of Jesus?
 
 
A Bigger Boat
17:16 / 22.02.07
So what exactly were you hurling into the gaping maw of Jesus?

Actually that's just a rude question and counter to the purposes of this thread (ie, world peace)
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
17:21 / 22.02.07
I'm not telling. (See Lent thread.)

But here's one from my best friend:

I would get naughty with him again maybe one more time but that's about it. I just ordered pizza online. I love the Internets.

There are others but considering they're between me and the person I adore, it might either be too saccharine or too filthy to post on here.
 
 
A Bigger Boat
17:38 / 22.02.07
Your restraint is appreciated.

Here's one from my outbox, just to flip da script:

I got my first barbelith PM today and it was a huggle. I'm disproportionately happy about that.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
17:42 / 22.02.07
Okay, here's one from my outbox, too:

Right now Bunny, Matt and I are discussing your boozy prowess. YOU FAIL.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
18:52 / 22.02.07
There were a bunch of completely filthy txts on my mobile when I bought it from cash converters, but I deleted them.
 
 
Feverfew
18:57 / 22.02.07
Remember, Jesus Saves. Everyone else takes damage.

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Storm damaged?

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Bread makers are always good.

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 I could begin to wonder about my friends.
 
 
iamus
19:31 / 22.02.07
What are you hurling into the gaping maw of Jesus?

Jesus' mother was a virgin.

It is unseemly to suggest she was capable of such improprieties.




I just cleaned out my inbox so the only one I have is...


_________ .... beware of captain paranoia. Can u copy that annie album into cd for me?thanks.
 
 
Closed for Business Time
20:20 / 22.02.07
Finished racist bigot no 60-shattered nerves-Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells or what...

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Just about to take off, love. Due in at *.**. Think I'll stay with u if that's ok. The peace of your house is very appealing. I'll text u when I land. xx

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Thank you sir! We're just starting in on the chocolate here, yum yum yum...!

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I don't I'll be yanking your balls tonight,i have to do some capitalist study.fancy the cinema tomorrow?
 
 
A Bigger Boat
21:05 / 22.02.07
Holy crap, I want to be Losontem!

Now I want to be Losontem and Batman. How'm I gonna swing that?

Losontem, you're not Batman by any chance are you?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:38 / 22.02.07
Names VERY MUCH removed...


Hows the wedding going *****? Ha ha! Im v hung over after last night was playing air guitar 2 the beastie boys-never good! ***** x

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I'm at the party of my life! 30th and 60th in underground warehouse space, theme is red and gold, have taken mdma for first time, love everyone all is as it should be. But you're not here! We miss you.

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How is the wedding, my little potato salad? Have you survived?

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Dude. Have found myself triple-booked for Friday night, so will have to cry off. Really sorry, am gutted, but have a birthday party that takes priority...

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All hail the ratel.

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Stripey death.

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He's small. He's hard. Likes honey more than lard. Ratel! Ratel!

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Are you gonna go to church today? I hear they forgive you for your sin's. How awesome. Eternal peace in heaven just for admitting you've been bad.. doesn't seem like a fair trade. Alvis was right.. REVENGE!!and (drinkin). but mainly REVENGE, AND DRINKIN

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Heard goat torture on internet. They're pony. Another in a long line of disappointments

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Hey! You up for beer sometime? Am off to Nepal in 3 weeks!

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Pancakes at work tonight! Workflow disruption probable!

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Hope you ok. R u out tomorrow. Had the most mental day. Poor *****is having full on anxiety attacks and another friend is going into rehab. I said no no no. Ps no mention of ***** to *****. Ta x

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Ok. Call when u leaving. I think ***** will come but she wont have the baby so hopefully ***** will be ok. She needs to be out and about so now u will have two potential collapsees to look out for and five dogs. Just joshing. C u a.m.

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Ta very much. Have fun at work. Toodle pip. And actually the sight of me and ***** unconscious while you deal with ***** sheena ***** ***** and ***** is more than comical. Especially with the lamp shade.

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Stop the war march this sat - you interested?

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I saw the thread but haven't really had a look yet. Just saw Hot Fuzz - how much did that rock.

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He is on his way now. I am gonna stay at ***** house tonight. Fucking crazy psycho. C u tomorrow x

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STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:39 / 22.02.07
(Thought I'd best stop there- they get a bit weird after that).
 
 
imaginary mice
06:22 / 23.02.07
Absolutely long time no fuck indeed...when your fit and ready! X

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If you fancy a shag come on over. Give me a call either way.

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Fancy a threesome?

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I'm not around after this evening, hon. I want to be inside you tonight.


And they say romance is dead...
 
 
Seth
08:15 / 23.02.07
Your Vodaphone order will be delivered today between 8.30am & 6pm on parcel number XXXXXXXXXX. Please ensure someone is available to sign for your parcel.

What I want to know is why won't those wankers tell me my own parcel number?
 
 
Closed for Business Time
11:06 / 23.02.07
Osama bin Laden sent George Bush a coded message 2 let him know he's still alive:
"-- 3 7 0 H S S V--
-- 0 7 7 3 H--
Bush baffled & even the FBI, CIA & NSA can't decipher it.They ask Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 replies: " Tell the President he's holding the message upside down.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
16:51 / 23.02.07
Dude. Have found myself triple-booked for Friday night, so will have to cry off. Really sorry, am gutted, but have a birthday party that takes priority...

From Haus, right?
 
 
A Bigger Boat
17:25 / 23.02.07
ELLIPSIS
 
 
A Bigger Boat
17:29 / 23.02.07
and slightly off topic I guess, but inspired by imaginary mice's post... does anyone fancy a threesome?
 
 
Feverfew
17:33 / 23.02.07
Well, I would, but I'm a bit tied up right now.
 
 
petunia
17:47 / 23.02.07
Question:

Is there yet a word for words that are misspelled through predictive text? - Words that are actually spelt correctly, but make no sense in context...

And -

TEXT CHALLENGE!

Is it possible to write a text where every word is mispredicted and gives a totally different sentence?

e.g. 'Want to go to the pub tonight? I have cash!' becomes 'Have it on me and him honey! A great tree.'

.. or something...
 
 
Ticker
19:08 / 23.02.07
One of my friends (who is a Deadwood addict) keeps having his phone autofill in 'cocksucker'.

99.55% of the time my messages say things like:

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Notification Type: RECOVERY

Service: XXXXXX
Host: XXXXXX
Address: XXXXXXXXX
State: OK

Date/Time: Fri Feb 23 16:15:39 EST 2007

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