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Biological Urban Legends

12:44 / 25.03.02

In this thread Deva questions the existance of "blue balls." I've heard this from quite a few other people too, usually stating that it's just an excuse for men to get into someone's pants. PMS often has the same reaction, in that it's sometimes seen as a ploy to get all emotional, and that it doesn't actually happen.

I've been under the impression that both "blue balls" and PMS exist, and I can attest to the validity of at least one of them. However, if anyone has another view on this, I'd love to hear it.

Oh, and I wasn't sure which spot to put this in. If the discussion strays from the scientific to another realm, could a moderator please move it?

12:47 / 25.03.02

Are you saying that there really is such a thing as blue balls?

12:51 / 25.03.02

quote:Originally posted by moriarty:
PMS often has the same reaction, in that it's sometimes seen as a ploy to get all emotional, and that it doesn't actually happen.

Oh boy... (I know you weren't really questioning this, Moriarty, but) it *does* exist, it can be very painful indeed, and it can cause people to be more highly-strung than they might be under other conditions. I used to have a real problem with this ('why should I be in thrall to my body', 'I must not admit to having PMT becasue it will make people think I am weak becasue I have a womb', 'PMT is historically associated with hysteria and I will not be categorised as hysterical simply because I am a woman). I am finding it easier to cope with now, and instead if worrying about it am fed up with feeling apologetic about having PMT.

However I am *definitely* unhappy about jokes which assume that a woman can only get angry because she has PMT - which assumes that women don't get angry, or perhaps shouldn't get angry, unless there is some hormonal explanation. Because women are ruled by their hormones and have 0 branes.

13:08 / 25.03.02

Persephone, yes I am.

Kit-Cat, I'm not questioning it at all. It's just that I know a fair amount of women who have had PMS, but who believe it is all in the mind and has no physical significance.

13:15 / 25.03.02

My CRAMPS have plenty of physical significance, THANK YOU PUNY MAN THING

... hah. I know you weren't questioning it, Moriarty (tried to make that clear, failed, cannot communicate, duh...). But I don't agree with your friends. I might have done when I was younger, but as I get to the sere, the yellow leaf, I find that the physical manifestations of PMT seem to be getting more intense. I should also say that I am much luckier in this respect than lots of other women (see the earlier thread on how to combat cramping pains without resorting to overdoses of painkillers).

13:27 / 25.03.02

You didn't fail conveying that at all, Kit-Cat. I just thought I'd clarify the stance of those people I know who disbelieve the existence of PMS. If someone isn't making any sense, it's me.

So far as this "puny man thing" insult is concerned, I direct you to this page. Nyah!

13:29 / 25.03.02

Oh, pffft.

Anyway, tell us more about 'blue balls'.

13:39 / 25.03.02

I've also read about "blue balls" - read that porn stars suffer from it quite allot, can't really look into it much at work - but its meant to be caused by allot of build up and no release...doesn't sound like much fun to me...

14:07 / 25.03.02

but it is rather easily relieved

14:12 / 25.03.02

Blue Balls and PMS... a winning thread combination.

Well, Blue Balls seem to be a real thing at times. I can never really tell, but then, I'm not a guy. I've heard women can get "blue clit" but this has never happened to me and I would be interested in any experiences any women on the board have had that would confirm this at all.

Anyway, PMS. Well my pet-peeve (this usually happens when I'm getting upset over something with my Mom, who invariably then asks me if I'm due for my period soon - and yes this does infuriate me just as much as you'd imagine) is when anything that makes me angry or upset is invalidated because "I may be on (or close to being on) the rag." Grr.

I would say I do usually have a few days shortly before my period that I get a little down and weepy, and I don't know if that is classic PMS. I suppose it is but I attribute it to shifting hormone levels in my body at the time.

Still, being a relatively happy person I really like taking ownership of my emotions at this time. I conceive of my whole cycle as a really nice ebb and flow of that I think women can use to mirror a creative process, in terms of "getting pregnant" with an idea/theme of the month/etc., which at the end of the month there is a "release" or "birth" of. Call me a hippie but this has been infinitely helpful in my life.

In general, on those "down" days, I'm sad, but I am sad about issues that have bothered me during the month but haven't gone into myself to deal with. I usually try and spend a few days by myself, working out my feelings and then I swear once I've worked it out the next day or two I get my period, and a whole new cycle starts.

This explains my "joy of menses," somewhat.

14:12 / 25.03.02

Well, it definitely exists... surely as a teenage thing, though?. I vividly remember walking back from the bus-stop as a greasy teenager, doubled over with agony after the object of my filthy little lust had safely got on board the last service home.

14:17 / 25.03.02

I think everyone can relate to that Sax (well maybe not quite everyone) - but I think Blue Balls is something different - is there a doctor in the house?

14:46 / 25.03.02

Sax's description sounds about right to me, except I've rarely felt anything beyond mild discomfort.

Here's some info on Blue Balls, but it's just one of many pages you can find through Google.

I didn't want to post any links or anything right away because I am genuinely curious as to people's disbelief in this. Almost every woman I know seems to think it's an invention created to get laid. I'll admit, I think it's often exagerrated greatly for that purpose, but such exagerration doesn't negate it's existence. I'm always willing to hear any kind of theory, even if it flies in the face of established fact or my own experiences (which would explain the membership in the Flat Earth Society).

Oh, and it looks like there's such a thing as "Blue Vulva."

[ 25-03-2002: Message edited by: moriarty ]

14:52 / 25.03.02

I dunno, moriarty. Visiting internet pages dedicated to information about blue balls doesn't seem all that appealing, strangely enough...

Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

14:59 / 25.03.02

Although you may learn a lot about the smurfs...

15:00 / 25.03.02

I'm pretty sure there's a gag to be made at about this point involving Blue Bols and Dick Advocaat, but I haven't quite worked it out yet. Haus?

15:08 / 25.03.02

Agreed, Cherry. But with three people asking about it, I thought I'd throw them a... er... bone.

15:12 / 25.03.02

OK, moriarty, have read link & I believe you. Actually I used to work on a headache hotline, and there's also a thing called ejaculatory migraine that's similar but obviously opposite.

I've never encountered blue balls in life; I've only ever read about them, in a Rona Jaffe novel... so there's two reasons I thought it was all a fiction, but also I got the impression that guys who play the blue balls card usually present it as a dire health risk... that's bogus, right?

Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

15:12 / 25.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Sax:
I'm pretty sure there's a gag to be made at about this point involving Blue Bols

You mean there ain't no Curacao for love?

15:15 / 25.03.02

That would be the one, Haus.

Persephone: I don't suppose it's a dire health risk at all. Just major-league discomfort. And, as was previously pointed out by MJ-12, nothing that isn't easily rectified. In private.

15:28 / 25.03.02

I'm pretty sure it's a myth. Spermatozoa that aren't 'helped out' are eventually - and harmlessly - reabsorbed. Men can go their whole lives without ejaculating; their bollocks don't explode...

Of course, having a stiffy for hours and hours and hours does tend to lead to 'vasocongestion' of one's nether regions - which is probably the basis of the adolescent thing. Relieved by orgasm, sure, but also slowly subsides if simply left alone for long enough.

[ 25-03-2002: Message edited by: Ganesh v4.2 ]

15:31 / 25.03.02

Is that right, about the re-absorption? I never knew that. I was always under the impression that once the, uh, gun was loaded, then those little fellas had to come out one way or another, via sex, masturbation or a nocturnal emission. Have people really gone their whole lives without ejaculating? Jesus.

15:35 / 25.03.02

quote:Originally posted by Sax:
Have people really gone their whole lives without ejaculating? Jesus.

Yep, supposedly Jesus...

Yeah, they're reabsorbed. 'Blue balls' arises from congestion of blood vessels, not semen channels. Which, if you think about it, makes perfect sense.

pointless and uncalled for

15:43 / 25.03.02

I can happily attest that extended periods of time without getting any will not kill you or even cause physical debilitation.

Six years, no harm done, not dead (from the neck down).

Thankfully the counter was recently set to zero but not through any grave concerns for my health.

Blue balls, as I understand it is more likely to set in quickly if you are used to frequent relief. Some guys actually like this.

08:37 / 27.03.02

Heterodox:

Six years without any kind of ejaculation at all? Not even involuntarily?

Must have been like opening a washing machine mid-cycle when you "set the counter to zero".

pointless and uncalled for

10:40 / 27.03.02

No I was refering to six years with no sex, hence the phrase "extended periods of time without getting any".

I don't consider one off the wrist getting any.

It was in response to comments regarding trying to entice women to bed in order to prevent spontaneous human combustion.

12:11 / 27.03.02

It's pretty rare to go one's entire life with [i]no[/i] ejaculation at all, but some men have done; I've met two. Point being, their testicles were not the size of space-hoppers...

13:08 / 27.03.02

I suppose the less you use them, the less sperm you produce.

14:47 / 28.03.02

Okay, I've had "Blue Balls" (is there a medical term for it?). Usually if I'm highly aroused for a long period of time, coming close to orgasm a few times and not doing it. As for this, from MJ-12, though

"but it is rather easily relieved "

I have to disagree. Any guy who's had this problem knows that any movement of the testicles is distinctly uncomfortable. Yes it does disappear, but I don't think having an orgasm has anything to do with it. If, as Ganesh points out, it's all about the blood vessels, surely an orgasm would make it worse, what with the increased blood flow an orgasm brings about.

Zoom.

pointless and uncalled for

14:50 / 28.03.02

I would opt for easily prevented. Although not always.

15:13 / 28.03.02

The erection's what causes the engorged blood vessels. Orgasm (unless you're Sting) generally terminates the erection. That's the reasoning.

21:44 / 28.03.02

As for this, from MJ-12, though
"but it is rather easily relieved "
I have to disagree. Any guy who's had this problem knows

Well, I can only speculate, irresistible chick magnet that I am.

17:30 / 30.03.02

Okay, well this topic seems to be veering pretty far into 'Loveline' territory, but is it possible that what some people here are describing as "blue balls" might actually be a partial testicular torsion caused by the oh-so-common "bell clapper" congenital birth defect? Said blue ball sufferers can at various points in their lives experience an extremely uncomfortable twisting of their testicle(s) that can only be experienced by those unfortuante enough to be born without the proper "anchoring" within their scrotum. Though essentially harmless, if a complete torsion occurs and the testicle isn't "untwisted" soon enough, it can in fact turn necrotic, necessitating its immediate ectomization - before which it does indeed swell to a terrific size and may even show some signs of discoloration. Untwisting - in a clinical setting - is as one might imagine a thoroughly unsexy procedure, but it stands to reason that sexual activity could by providence elicit the same effect. If anyone would care to know how someone from a non-medical background became so familiar with the intricacies of the testicular torsion, I'm afraid you're out of luck. Because I ain't telling.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

18:28 / 30.03.02

Re: PMS and PMT.

I think the confusion here is that pre-menstrual tension and pre-menstrual syndrome are two different things. The term PMS referrs to a collection of symptoms, of which emotional disturbance may or may not be one. Pre-menstrual tension (PMT) refers solely to the emotional componant of PMS. Effects can range from mild feelings of stress and anxiety, to bouts of severe depression or even violent urges.

Whilst there is a certain amount of evidence to suggest that PMT may not be as universal as is claimed, the condition is very real AND I'LL DECK ANY FUCKER WHO SAYS DIFFERENT!!!