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An open letter to linda perry

Vadrice

07:41 / 16.01.07

linda,

i'm not sure what the feesability (based on mortality and irrecnsilable differences) of this is (mostly because i have no idea due to lack of any reserch whatsoever), but is there any way you could reform four non blondes?
i mean... not to demean your later work... like that one trac on the crow city of angels soundtrack with grace slick gave me chills.
oh yeah... and all that work you put into producing pink.
i mean... yeah i guess pink was allright.

but four non blondes only released one album, right? can't you give me something more?

and what's up with that lemon tree song never making it on the radio?

-vad.

Sniv

12:57 / 16.01.07

Dear Vadrice,

Please stop harrassing my client, she is scared.

Yours Sincerely,
John the lawyer from the future, representing Linda Perry

matthew.

13:32 / 16.01.07

Dear Linda,

Thank you for producing and co-writing most of X-Tina's new album. The second disc, with its brassy attitude, old-school flavours, and X-Tina's powerful pipes, is truly a treat.

I wouldn't mind you reforming Four Non-Blondes, as long as you wear your infamous gigantic hat (like in the video for What's Going On) all the time.
You have ten seconds to comply.

johnny enigma

10:54 / 18.01.07

Dear linda,
What's it like working with Courtney Love? Does she leave dirty needles and empty valium bottles all over the studio? Did she try and sleep with you?

Are you proud of the mindless, souless, pretending-to-be- about-something-deep-but-really-pandering-to-the-lowest-common-denominator rubbish you have foisted on a brainwashed public who simply doesn't know any better?

If you ever come to Worcester, England, please don't look me up.

Johnny

matthew.

12:08 / 18.01.07

Ah, the sheeple. We're all brainwashed and you're the enlightened one. Yeesh.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:10 / 18.01.07

I mean, do you have anything to say about Linda Perry as a songwriter that has any merit whatsoever, even if it's critical? No. You do not. You simply have some LOLZ @ TEH SHEEPLE nonsense to trot our and the same old tired borderline-misogynistic muckraking about a female rock star who has the insolence to behave in the way male rock stars have been doing for decades to great acclaim from muppets such as yourself.

Dutch

20:02 / 18.01.07

Dear Linda,

the world could use your giant hat about now. Really, it is time for the reformation of the four non blondes. While helping (some less talented) others make music might be profitable or somewhat artistically challenging, we need to know what is going on.

P.S.

Sorry for the sad reference to the four non blondes' most famous song, I'm sure you must be tired out of your wits with people misquoting you and marvin gay for their own personal agenda.

matthew.

01:05 / 19.01.07

Wait, shh! Everybody, shhhhh! Shut up, shut up, and look. Look closely. You can see it now, but it's not going to last forever. Look... Flyboy and I agree on something.

Ok carry on. Or better, let's fucking discuss Linda Perry. I really like her voice. She's like a female Mike Patton: able to do so many different styles. Like if you listen to What's Going On, you can hear that rock-rasp and that sweet soul all in the same breath on certain lines. I love her voice, but... Christina's is certainly more powerful, but not by much. I love Back To Basics. Great album.

Jackie Susann

23:12 / 19.01.07

Linda Perry ruined Pink, got her on that boring rock ballad road, then had a run at ruining Xtina, who was too much for her. Ironically, it may have taken Primo to ruin Xtina. But I'm holding out for another album before I write her off.

matthew.

23:48 / 20.01.07

Ruining? How so, in relation to Xtina (not Pink cause I don't like her from beginning to end)?

Kiltartan Cross

15:54 / 21.01.07

Wiki claims she's producing Skin's next opus. I await that with great and not-entirely-platonic interest.

Jackie Susann

21:50 / 21.01.07

She produced Beautiful, which I hated. I think other stuff on Stripped, but can't remember. Funny that she got to be the go-to producer for serious rnb ballads for five minutes.

Tryphena Absent

20:31 / 22.01.07

She produced Beautiful?

There is no worse crime. I'm sorry people, we're going to have to shoot Linda at dawn, there's nothing you can say to save her.

haus of fraser

10:11 / 24.01.07

Saw this on Pitchfork- look whos playing Coachella on Friday...

johnny enigma

10:40 / 30.01.07

Ok, sorry for offending people - I did go off on one a bit, but I was only expressing an opinion. I wasn't saying that people who like Linda Perry are unenlightened, I was just ranting. I'm sure there are some radical, highly evolved individuals out there with four figure IQs who adore Linda Perry and her collected works. I am also sure that I love music that other people hate, and they are completely within their rights to do so.

"Beautiful" still sucks arse though, whether or not I am a muppet.

*stifles sniggers*

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