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Underground > Temple >

Self Exorcism

12:22 / 04.01.07

Since november 2002 I've been hearing voices and seeing coloured lights.
The lights are tiny little specs mostly white with a blue halo, some orange and some red with a black halo. For the first couple of months I fell in to the trap of defining them depending on what I was thinking, like it was a kind of telepathy, basicly blue = right, red = wrong, and I went a far as testing it even though I new they where just lights. Stopped doing that after a couple of months and now there just coloured lights. The voices tend to just cloud my mind, confuse me, make me er. It started with just random words, whispers. These days, well I've just lost the girl of my dreams, you can imagine the sentences being strung together and the torment. Non of it realy botherd me untill I lost her, I dont find it scary, it was just there. Now I cant handle it anymore.
Along the way I've tryed banishing, Kuji-In, meditation, just trying to strengthen my-self realy and cast it out. Last couple of nights I've been reading the Rite Of Exorcism to myself, which is good. But I find it hard to believe what I'm saying because I'm not a Christian. Was thinking of recording it to mp3 and listerning to it over and over, and in my sleep.

I've told no-one I know about any of this. The past few years I've lost all my friends, failed at Uni and I havent even got a job now.

Has anyone had any experiance in this? I'm at my whits end.

12:34 / 04.01.07

you might wanna see a doctor.

12:56 / 04.01.07

I'd suggest finding a holistic health pro who is open minded about spiritual issues. In fact I was told recently that spiritual evolution/conflict has finally made it into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV).

The idea is to get the body checked out first to make sure it isn't a life threatening condition manifesting as a neurological disorder. Once that's established then you move on to the realm of spiritual healing. Most skilled magical healers will insist that you get thee to a doctor first to eliminate the immediate threat.

Closed for Business Time

12:57 / 04.01.07

akira, not to be condescending, but yes, you might want to go see a doctor, as well as trying to solve your problems by way of non-Western medicinal means. speaking as a lay-person, and going from what you describe as the symptoms of your malady, you might have sustained some sort of neurological damage by way of physical trauma (blow to the head, for example) or toxins. have it checked out by, 's all i'm saying.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:38 / 04.01.07

I would second the idea of going to a doctor and talking things through. Speaking personally, I would mention everything. You could be experiencing some kind of spiritual awakening: on the other hand, you could be in the first stages of any one of a number of neurological conditions. Get yourself checked out.

(If it's of any reassurance, I've sat in an NHS psychiatrist's office and spilled the beans on having seen ghosts and heard voices. There was no siren, no general alert, no alarms sounding or lights flashing, no guys waving big butterfly nets and straitjackets came storming into the room to whisk me away. All that happened was that she asked me if I was particularly bothered by the voice/ghosts/etc. and asked questions about my day-to-day life, employment, selfcare, and so on.)

14:14 / 04.01.07

Mordant Carnival - What happened next? Did they do tests or did she perscribe you something, did it work?

power vacuums & pure moments

19:14 / 04.01.07

I hope this question doesnt cause any offence, but its an obvious one that hasnt been raised - have you used any psychedelic drugs within the last year? Im by no means discounting the possibility that spritual evolution can go hand in hand with drug use btw, just seeing what factors are involved.

19:23 / 04.01.07

I've never been a big drug user, smoked weed, snorted coke on 3 occasions and have taken E a few times. Thats it. Never been around anyone that would spike a drink or anything like that. When it stared I'd just started Uni and hadnt smoked weed for about 6 months and the time before that was about 6 months also.