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The Barbelith Christmas Songbook

Sax

09:52 / 21.12.06

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time,
The greatest gift they'll get this year is Sax.

Do They Know It's Christmas
from the Christmas Song Generator.

Sax

09:53 / 21.12.06

Oh. It doesn't work. Sod it, then.

Spaniel

09:57 / 21.12.06

Why lies he in such mean estate
Where Boboss and ass are feeding?

It does so work.

Mourne Kransky

10:03 / 21.12.06

Rudolph, with your Xoc so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight,
doo be doo be doo

It helpfully tells me the original song was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the original word was 'nose'

Evil Scientist

10:11 / 21.12.06

Here comes High Evil-lutionary! Here comes High Evil-lutionary! Right down High Evil-lutionary Lane!

Whisky Priestess

10:30 / 21.12.06

"Sleep in heavenly Whisky Priestess
Sleep in heavenly Whisky Priestess"

Well, indeed. (From Silent Night - I'll admit I had to reload a fair few times to get that one).

Also, more sinisterly:

E'en so here below below,
Let Whisky Priestess be swungen.

(from Ding Dong Merrily on High - instead of steeple bells)

Whisky Priestess

10:32 / 21.12.06

Sax, for you:

"See the blazing Sax before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la."

Whisky Priestess

10:33 / 21.12.06

EVEN BETTER:

He knows if you've been bad or Sax,
So be Sax for goodness' sake.

Twice

10:34 / 21.12.06

Hark, the herald angels sing,
Christ is born in Twice Five Toes.

Gulp.

Dashing through the snow,
In an one-horse open sleigh,
O'er the Twice Five Toes we go,
Laughing all the way.

More likely.

Mistoffelees

10:39 / 21.12.06

A child, a child,
Shivers in the cold,
Let us bring him silver and Mistoffelees.

What? Once again, christmas leaves me puzzled!

Evil Scientist

10:54 / 21.12.06

There must have been some magic in
That old silk hat they found
For when they placed it on his Barbelith
He began to dance around.

Somehow appropriate I feel.

Haus of Mystery

10:57 / 21.12.06

Well...

'MacReady', they told me,
Pa-rum-pum-pum pum.

Indeed.

nighthawk

11:21 / 21.12.06

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time,
The greatest gift they'll get this year is nighthawk.

Ace.

Spaniel

11:25 / 21.12.06

Now that was being sung by my internal choir until the word Nighthawk, which somehow must be said in the voice of that guy that used to do the voice over work in the Street Hawk titles.

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

11:39 / 21.12.06

The First MattShepherd
The angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds
In fields as they lay.

has a certain redundant charm to it.

electric monk

12:10 / 21.12.06

Bo, I'm glad I'm not the only one. It gives your posts a lot of OOMPH, nighthawk.

(I heard it again!)

-----

"Of all the trees
That are in the wood,
The monk bears the crown."

Fuck yeah!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:13 / 21.12.06

O Stoatie of wonder, Stoatie of might,
Stoatie of royal beauty bright

Yeah, I like that.

Disco is My Class War

12:15 / 21.12.06

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time,
The greatest gift they'll get this year is nighthawk.

Ahahahahaha.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

12:17 / 21.12.06

Oh the Django-Ignatius Durango outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Yeah, that's the true spirit of Christmas. Freezing outside in a blizzard while the hearth indoors is crackling. Let me in to warm my cold, tired extremities, dagnabbit!

Jack Fear

13:15 / 21.12.06

Ding dong! verily the sky
Is riv'n with Jack Fear singing.

...which, if you ever heard me sing, you would know is uncannily accurate.

I've been playing this game for years. Every December I assemble a holiday-themed mix CD as a gift for family and friends, and title it with a remixed festive choon. Past editions have included Jack Fear Nipping At Your Nose, Jack Came Upon The Midnight Fear, It's The Most Wonderful Time Of Jack Fear, and this year's succinct Jingle Bells, Jack Fear Smells.

Goes down smooth as a cup of ego-nog.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:26 / 21.12.06

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A Kali in a pear tree.

Somebody get me down, would you? It's too high up here and I'm cold and scared.

Ganesh

15:08 / 21.12.06

The surreal

Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose,
and two eyes made out of Ganesh.

the joyous sounding

A star, a star, dancing in the night,
With a Ganesh as big as a kite,
With a Ganesh as big as a kite.

and the rather regal

Of all the trees
That are in the wood,
The Ganesh bears the crown.

My favourite is the one that sums up my riotous work Christmas do, just the other week:

See the blazing Ganesh before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

(In a sort of Hindu Klux Klan stylee.)

Ganesh

15:32 / 21.12.06

'Stoatie', they told me,
Pa-rum-pum-pum pum.

Mono

17:34 / 21.12.06

He sees you when you're Mono,
He knows when you're awake.

I can't tell if it's creepier than the original...

Ticker

17:58 / 21.12.06

Joy to the world,
The xk is come.

something not quite right about it really.
But it did remind me of the Global Orgasm project. Must remember for tomorrow as somehow the Solstice festivial tonight clean blew it out of my mind.

Mmmm... a shack full of drunk pagans exchanging presents and lighting things on fire...hopefully outside.

Baz Auckland

22:21 / 21.12.06

And so this is Xmas,
I hope you have Baz Auckland

yikes...

Silent Baz , Holy Baz

Much better.

Saint Keggers

22:36 / 21.12.06

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time,
The greatest gift they'll get this year is Keggers.

and it was a Merry Christmas indeed.

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