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It's The Most Horrible Time of The Year

 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
18:05 / 29.11.06
My idea of Christmas.

I'll have a blue Solstice, Cthulhu.
I'll be so blue thinking what you'll do.
Sacrifices of red on the blue open sea,
Won't mean a thing until you're here with me.

Until your blue nightmares awake me,
And all my blue angels forsake me,
You'll be down in your tomb, in cyclopean gloom,
And I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Solstice.

(spoken) Oh Cthulhu, baby, c'mon up out of that tomb. I can't stop thinking about your huge flabby claws, them little wings of yours, that grotesque scaly body, and them big ol' tentacles wrapped around me. Oh darlin', I can't go on without you.

You'll be down in your tomb in cyclopean gloom,
And I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue, Solstice.
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
18:21 / 29.11.06
That site is fantastic, Kali. I may order one of their albums.

It's beginning to look a lot like fish-men, indeed.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
18:24 / 29.11.06
I'm dreaming of a dead city, baby.

When I find the guy who will sit with me by a roaring pyre, glass of ancient brandy in hand, and looks at me longingly whilst Come Ye Great Olde Ones, I will have truly found love.
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
18:26 / 29.11.06
What are you doing this winter, my little Fungi from Yuggoth?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:27 / 29.11.06
You do have nearly four weeks though - I'm sure if you wish hard enough, you'll be able to find a fifth dimensional entity who'll be happy enough to suck out your soul on Dec 24th for the price of a cup of egg nog.

Stay positive!
 
 
Ticker
18:29 / 29.11.06
the make a lot of those models up here in New England, Kali. I mean I could throw a rock any night of the week in my pub and hit a HPL fan here in the 'Mouth.

Do you need me to export one to you? Best send a more complete list of traits though.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
18:50 / 29.11.06
What are you doing this winter, my little Fungi from Yuggoth?

Is it weird that I consider this a come-on?
 
 
Mistoffelees
18:51 / 29.11.06
Obviously, it´s time once more to post the photo I did of my Cthulhu figurine...

...partying the holiday away with his good pal Buddy Jesus.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
18:56 / 29.11.06
Carols of terror, tidings of fear....

The true spirit of Cephalopodmas.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
22:21 / 29.11.06
I wish I could find a photo of our tree from a couple of years back, topped off with a plush Cthulhu instead of that all that bullshit fairy stuff.
 
 
■
23:44 / 29.11.06
It is a very good album. Tom Tit Tot and Nobody's Girl bought me it for Christmas last year. There are a few duff tracks, but "Es Y'Golonac" is a stand-out classic (to the tune of Feliz Navidad)

I would love to regale a snowy country village with a chorus of:

On his hands he's got orifices,
On his hands he's got orifices,
On his hands he's got orifices,
and he hasn't got a heeeeeaadd!
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
23:48 / 29.11.06
Jingle bells, eldritch smells
In the briny deep
Oh what fun it is to wake
Great Old Ones from their sleep...

One of my favourite Lovecraft quotes, and one that encapsulates my feelings about Christmas, especially the Christmases of my childhood (why do people think all children love Christmas? i truly, deeply hated it...):

"In youth I scarcely did any letter-writing — thanking anybody for a present was so much of an ordeal that I would rather have written a two hundred fifty-line pastoral or a twenty-page treatise on the rings of Saturn."

There's a sex shop in Leicester Square called "Lovecraft". When i saw it i just had to go inside to see what the hell could be in there (even tho i thought i almost certainly wouldn't want to)... sadly it was very vanilla and normal, and the salesman denied any knowledge of squamous old HP...
 
 
Slim
00:10 / 30.11.06
I hope Santa gives you fuckers coal for Christmas and that Rudolph drops a deuce on your living room floors.
 
 
Quantum
08:26 / 30.11.06
Hey! That's not the spirit of Christmas! It's Santa's birthday, show some respect!
Happy Birthday Santa Claus, and Shubb-Niggurath!
 
 
lord nuneaton savage
08:32 / 30.11.06
And lo' in all my darkened nightmares, I could nary imagine what awaited me, as I peeled back the fur covered lip of yon stocking and peered through the inky blackness into that yuleish container.

For yon was contained a globule, marvellous compact, of an orange hue. Mottled was its visage and pitted also. But what afeared me most was the terrible emptiness that surrounded it, and the thought - ringing like the yuletide bells of some debased steeple - that my mother had skanked me out of chrimbo once more.

Bitch.
 
 
Quantum
09:44 / 30.11.06
Deck the halls with squid and Mi-Go, falalala lalalalalala wgah'nagl fhtagn...
 
 
Spaniel
10:35 / 30.11.06
lol
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
13:02 / 30.11.06
I think I'm going to try and find some people to go caroling this eldritch holiday season.
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
14:22 / 30.11.06
Good King Kuranes looked out
On the feast of Dagon
Ghouls and ghasts lay round about
Blasphemous and pagan...

(sorry to all self-identifying pagans, it was the only thing i could think of to rhyme... come on, someone can do better...)
 
 
lord nuneaton savage
14:27 / 30.11.06
That's OK, you're forgiven.

What did you think we were gonna do? Get The Moon on your ass?
 
 
Quantum
16:44 / 30.11.06
Put your brain in a jar (with a jaunty christmas hat on) and fly you to Pluto?
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:44 / 01.12.06
Who knew you could download the sheet music? I sense a seasonal cabaret act ...
 
 
Mistoffelees
10:59 / 01.12.06
Ok, confess! Who of you thought it was funny to do this:

LONDON (AFP) - British DIY superstore B and Q has apologised after staff blasted out the filthy song "Christmas Time in Hell" by Satan and the Damned on the soundsystem, shocking customers.

Instead of the usual festive hits ringing through the aisles, shoppers were subjected to a foul-mouthed song from the television cartoon series "South Park".

Due to an "oversight" at the store in Stockport, northwest England, bungling staff put on "Christmas Time in Hell" from the album "Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics".

The offending track contains references to sex, torture and US cannibal serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

Shopper Grant Sullivan, 42, from Stockport, was in the store's Christmas grotto with his daughter, Deonne, aged four.

"I couldn't believe my ears," he told The Sun newspaper.

"We were buying a tree and Deonne was looking for the star for the top of it. I was speechless.

"Christmas should be a wonderful time for kids -- they shouldn't have to listen to filth."

B and Q, which is owned by Kingfisher, Europe's largest home-improvement retailer, apologised over the incident. (...)
 
 
Olulabelle
11:02 / 01.12.06
Hahahahaha. Oversight yes. Didn't mean to do it at all, Officer.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:00 / 01.12.06
Haha! I read that, and immediately had one of those flashback moments to when the exact same thing happened to me when I was working in a major comic shop. Only I knew there was loads of swearing on it. It was just that we'd been told "Christmas music only". "Is this OK?" I asked innocently. "Sure".
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
13:12 / 01.12.06
I'm going to order the Solstice CD and play it LOUDLY at work.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
13:13 / 01.12.06
But won't the vicar get annoyed?
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
13:17 / 01.12.06
Probably, but I could care less about what he thinks.
 
 
MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!
13:21 / 01.12.06
That site is fantastic, Kali. I may order one of their albums.

I bought a friend Shoggoth On The Roof years ago, and he loved it; their DVD of the "new silent" movie Call of Cthulhu is friggin' fantastic (and talked about a bit in a Film thread a month or two ago).
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
14:03 / 01.12.06
I loved it, too.
 
 
Mistoffelees
21:33 / 01.12.06
Hurra! I´m saved!
I posted some lyrics and the link from the first post on a different board and within three minutes I got this response:
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
13:29 / 02.12.06
Hey! He said I was going to be eaten last!
 
 
Dead Megatron
14:02 / 02.12.06
As a side dish...
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
14:10 / 02.12.06
Cthulhu, what a liar.

Last time I let an Old One buy me a drink.
 
  
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