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Underground > Conversation >

The "zero hostilities" thread

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:16 / 20.11.06

It's come to my attention that I have recently been disagreeing an awful lot with various people, especially miss wonderstarr (and sometimes Mister Disco). Sometimes I don't post stuff, sometimes I do, but looking back over a few threads it looks like I spend a disproportionate amount of time disagreeing with them more than anyone else, like I don't like them or something.

Both the above named posters are among my favourite posters on here, and this is a thread in which I not only say that my disagreement doesn't mean anything personal, but I also invite anyone else to do the same if they think disagreements on topics may spill over into arguments (not that that's the case with my two choices, I hasten to add) or if they just want to tell someone the likelihood of actually breaking into their house and weeing on their sofa is minimal DESPITE the fact that on a certain topic they may be at each other's throats, without rotting any threads they may be fighting in.

So NO embarrassing "oh I wuv you really" Barbecrush shit (there's already a thread for that) and NO using this thread as a sly way of getting a dig in at someone. Sarcasm will be frowned on.

Go for it.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:17 / 20.11.06

There was supposed to be something in there about taking the lids off pressure cookers, but I forgot to put it in.

Ex

20:25 / 20.11.06

Don't take the lid off the pressure cooker, Stoatie! It will MELT YOUR FACE!

That public health warning aside, let the cameraderie flow like chardonnay.

21:37 / 20.11.06

Good idea Stoatie.

That happens to me loads with Boboss and it's so weird. It also happened to me with Mr Disco and it did lead to both of us feeling a bit like someothing 'other' was going on and unhappiness ensued. Now I think we've resolved that one. I hope we have.

22:30 / 20.11.06

see, i'm of the other persuasion.
i often agree with people i hate.
yes stoatie, that means you.
you total, utter, bastard.

dont look at me!

23:18 / 20.11.06

I still like Kali!

23:35 / 20.11.06

Is it just me, or is a vicious argument, as with political differences and complete ambivalence akin to a powerful aphrodisiac of somekind?

I'm just saying, there may a few latent barbe-crushes. Textbook symptoms of frustration, denial and inexplicable infatuation lurking ...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:25 / 21.11.06

Let's SO not go there...

00:47 / 21.11.06

Joe Damage, i find your lack of faith in Australian hiphop disturbing, but i don't hate you for it.....

01:36 / 21.11.06

To all those people who over the years have posted something that caused me to scream at the screen in frustration without actually writing anything in response: Sorry. I still love you, really.

03:43 / 21.11.06

I've developed an Amazo to replicate the powers of Flyboy, Boboss, toksik, Ganesh, Flux, Haus and Stoatie to defeat all of you, including the copied Barbe-League (aka Barbe-royalty). Mwahaha. But I still like you people.

06:20 / 21.11.06

I'm always terribly paranoid that Haus and toksik think I don't like them - but I do, honest I do!

I think of Haus as a kind of Huxley to Tom's Darwin, and I like toksiks lower case, almost seeming to post in hiku style.

Apart from that though, you're all rubbish...

miss wonderstarr

06:26 / 21.11.06

Thanks, Stoatie ~ we may have debated recently but I have some base memory of you being nice to me over the summer (it's just vague; can't remember what) so I'd never thought our discussion suggested any kind of dislike.

I sometimes feel I'm often on the other side of an argument to Boboss and Flyboy ~ those debates haven't escalated to worrying proportions (recently at least), but again, those are two posters whose work (and force, and passion) I consistently admire.

07:04 / 21.11.06

I'm always a bit troubled by what seems to me like the plain fact that whenever the 'Barbe-royalty' crops up as a concept, my name is never mentioned.

Why is this?

Haven't I done enough for you people, over the years? I like to think I've always been there with a nod, a wink and a fnord. What more do you want? Blood?

Ex

07:32 / 21.11.06

Not blood: bloodsports. The true mark of royalty. Try chasing a furry mammal through Policy.

08:42 / 21.11.06

Hey, MW, you're one of my favourite posters, so there's no animosity coming from this quarter. In fact - and this might surprise you - I think I agree with quite a lot of your opinions.

I'm particularly keen on the fact that another fan of Granny Morrison thinks he can be a little lax and unthorough from time to time. You should start watching the Wire, however. I can't properly respect you until you start doing that.

So, who else...? Well, there's possibly a bunch of guys in Comics who think I'm always having a go - for the record I'd like to assure them that they are all my people. Oh, and I sometimes get a feeling that Lula thinks I don't think very highly of her, which, quite frankly, couldn't be further from the truth.

There's probably more. I do tend to get a little carried away from time to time - it shouldn't be taken personally.

I annoy myself alot. Does that count?

Whisky Priestess

09:08 / 21.11.06

I am sometimes too restrained, charming and forgiving with the Barbeloids who get right up my nose. And that's just the ones I live with.

I like the idea of this thread, but annoyingly I have nothing to confess. My biggest sin/failing is being really fucked off by what somebody is saying, but not taking them to task because it will only lead to a prolonged, bloody and threadrotty argument, and I'm not willing to spare the enormous amounts of time and energy this would consume.

I am aware this makes me a Bad Barbeperson, but given the choice I'd always rather speculate about Torchwood or ramble on in Conversation than get into a fight. Anything for a quiet life, me.

Disco is My Class War

09:23 / 21.11.06

I don't know if disagreement is always the same thing as 'hostility'. I enjoy a robust discussion. In the voting thread, for example, that's what I would call a fairly enjoyable, healthy debate -- it certainly didn't feel hostile or personal. I do make harsh political calls at times. But it's almost never to do with feeling hostile towards someone because they're them. Those on Barbelith who I really disagree with, to the extent that it seems unlikely we'd ever come to any kind of detente, I try to avoid. So I tend to get into the most intense arguments with people who are probably closer, politically, to my feelings, and of whom (to be brutally honest) I expect better. Like the burqa issue, or trans health, or the student tasering thread.

Then there's the regrettable occasional personal spat, which happens, and everyone gets over it.

I'm told that in real time I'm actually quite mild-mannered and friendly.

09:43 / 21.11.06

MD, I think this thread is about seperating disagreement from hostility and about giving people the chance to unpick things if those distinctions get a bit blurred.

Disco is My Class War

10:00 / 21.11.06

Well, exactly.

11:20 / 21.11.06

11:34 / 21.11.06

I just love everybody

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

12:45 / 21.11.06

The problem is that I can never tell whether or not Triplets is taking the piss....even though I do like Triplets.

Kiltartan Cross

13:31 / 21.11.06

if they just want to tell someone the likelihood of actually breaking into their house and weeing on their sofa is minimal

The likelihood of my breaking into anyone's house and weeing on their sofa is minimal.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:49 / 21.11.06

Oh, you're no fun at all.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

13:53 / 21.11.06

Is there a thread for hostility in situations where there is no disagreement?

On a slightly more serious note, I have been working on the way I handle disagreement in the real world and online. I think I am at the point where I only reply with hostility if I am confronted with such. Not quite Buddha yet, bet better then Charles Bronson I suppose.

14:11 / 21.11.06

I am sometimes too restrained, charming and forgiving with the Barbeloids who get right up my nose. And that's just the ones I live with.

Not to worry, WP!

As I type this, the butler is moving your stuff onto the pavement.

14:11 / 21.11.06

I plenty don't hate those I disagree with, and I don't mean to upset when something idiotic is said.

14:21 / 21.11.06

And dancing round it, naked, with a can of petrol, and a cig.

'PW,' I've pleaded with him 'Is this really the way you want to go?'

And he's just looking back at me. With those eyes.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:53 / 21.11.06

Disco has a point, actually- I tend to argue more with people who are prepared to debate their points, which is probably why it's usually the people I have more respect for. If I actually think someone's being a dick, I'll tend to call them a dick or go for the stupid jokes.

In which case, apologies to anyone I haven't argued with who isn't a dick. I'll try to get to you at some point.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

16:59 / 21.11.06

I have been in a stinking mood all day, and largely taking it out on the lovely folks in a thread over in the Temple.

The internet is really best avoided when glowering and smouldering.

I regret my shittier-than-usual tone in most of those posts and would like to offer a huggle to all concerned and a sincere apology for being a right unpleasant horrid little shit, particularly offering hugs to Evil Scientist, who is a great addition to the Temple, and Ev_G, who I have altercated with before and unnecessarily so then as now.

I have been a pain in the ass. Please ignore me when I'm like that.

Ithangyew.

02:29 / 22.11.06

I have to get this off my chest- I disagree with just about everyone in the Switchboard forum. Even when I'm on the same side of an issue with a poster (which probably happens more often than people think) I often find myself disagreeing with how or why they came to their conclusions.

Have no fear, I don't hate you guys. One of these days you'll get things right!