Okay well it might offend some of us. I have changed maybe two words in the entire thing. If my editing was too slack please let me know as you will be helping me become aware of blind spots in my perception of public limits.
Thanks to all of the sick sickos and talented twisted fucks who sent me questions. Yes I know it is difficult to score because some of the questions have stand out responses that would give your wickedness away. THAT'S THE POINT.
1. Have you ever stolen candy from a child and eaten it in front of his/her parent?
1 mars bar
#2. - Sind Sie überhaupt nach, wie Sie englische Schweine sagen, "Bavaria" gewesen?
(50 demerits)
#2 a. - Did you understand the above question without using reference materials?
(48 demerits)
3) Have you participated in a Krampus run or associated with Krampus?
1 mars bar
4. Ever... discovered your S.O. in flagrante with someone else and not minded a bit?
6 mars bars
5- 5 Whip marks on your virgin ass if you've ever read the whole of a book by the Marquis de Sade.
Bonus:
3 Steaming Cum Stained Turds if you've read his complete works.
1 Mercury Filled Bowel if you've ever read his works for purposes of 'self entertainment'.
6) Have you ever wanked with a piece of fruit or vegetable and then eaten it? Bonus points if you fed it to someone else (even more bonus points if they didn't know).
1 rutabaga
7# Ever masturbated furiously to images of the cast of Blake's 7
A large Full English Breakfast
Ever masturbated furiously with the cast of Blake's 7
A Gregorian Banquest for Two
Woken up with a fellow barbeloid and not been able to remember their name, either of them
An ill fitting norse helmet
Broken up with a barbeloid in real life, only to find them strangely desirable in suit form
The Head of Alfredo Garcia
8.Do you believe in an objective, deontological, moral standard?
If the answer is yes, award yourself ONE POINT OF SIN!!!
If the answer is no, consider it for a long time and award yourself what you believe to be the right amount of points according to utilitarian, situationist, or intuitionist criteria.
9)Stolen and worn someone elses dirty underwear to get a smell of them everytime you go for a wee.
L 10,000 (Italian)
10.To pick your nose, and
Eat it, even when others
Can see you, ten bucks
11# Showing your breasts, or
cock, ass or lady garden
to strangers, sober.
1 mars bar
12- Ingesting your drugs
despite vomiting them up
just momments before
£20 (starling)
13. Having sex on drugs,
but not on Benalyn, 'cos
that's just good clean fun. 20p
Cocaine is filthy.
Unless you grow it yourself,
it makes you a git. $3.62
14) Fantasize smutty moments about another Barbelith board member who is not your RL sweetie.
1 Haus
15.
queer catechism
quoted non relevantly
maybe just the tip
if you understand the above: 2 mars bars
16-
outraged hue and cry
local crowned harsh bullying
on the prole I am
if you relate to the above: 3 mars bars
17#
did you crush alas
mountainous canine fashion?
you win a new prize
if you envisioned:
a dog in haute couture: -1 pants
the board member alas: -2 pants
a game show involving sexual positions: -5 pants
18.
Summer sun, burning
a baboon-red derriere.
Can't sit? 50 points
19-
More good deeds than bad?
Your probably deluded.
One sin point for PRIDE!
20. Have you had a row with an "barbe-authority" figure... yet?
5 mars bars
21. How many Hauses do you think you could get through in an evening? 1 Haus, 2 Haus, 3 Red Haus, and 4 Blue Haus
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