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Six degrees of separation… and random celebrities you've met

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20:17 / 12.07.06

Sorry, Kali, my last post was a bit of an in-joke. The details are available elsewhere on the 'lith.

In my real live tiger experience stars don't necessarily want to be treated normally.

22:37 / 12.07.06

My Dad was at a party in Phil Lynotts house (Thin Lizzy), The now dead leather-clad frontman opened the door and said the drinks in there boys. My dad also used to drink in the same pub as Lemmy in London and lived a few doors down from that guy who lured people into his house, killed them and then gave them a nice cuppa and had a wee chat.Even more cool and impressive is he once got stuck in the departure bit of a very delayed flight with the clash who promptly popped out their boomboxes and drink and had a party with everyone waiting. He also met Jonny rotten and his ex was Tom cruises Chef for a few years, now John "Chin" Travoltas I think,

I on the other hand have met the shittest collection of celebrities ever and unless your from ireland have probably never heard of They include Ryan Tubridy (The biggest prick in the universe, look him up on the internet and just stare at his stupid stupid head)
2.Dunno what you call him but he presents an arts program here called the view and hes a pretentious fish lipped freak
3.Ray Darcy - badass kids tv presenter

but the two gems of my collection are - Drum roll -
That russian man from Sex And the city who Carrie dated and - Much bigger drum roll - The guy who gets the job in that film waiting with Ryan Reynolds. So There

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:56 / 12.07.06

a few doors down from that guy who lured people into his house, killed them and then gave them a nice cuppa and had a wee chat.

Dennis Nilsen? Guy I know claims to have been cruised by him, and nearly gone home with him. Mind you, I bet loads of North London guys of his age say the same thing.

ONLY NICE THINGS

23:08 / 12.07.06

UUUUHHHH HPPPPLLLLLAAAAAAAAAA GUUUUUHHHHFFFFF WUHHHHH TARRRRRRRBUUUUHHHHH NNNNNN BRRUUUUUUUGGHHHHHNNM FFFFOOOOORRRRRSSSSSSYTHHHHHHHH!

paranoidwriter waves hello

00:00 / 13.07.06

Haus, I'm reading that as "I play golf with Tarbuck and Bruce Forsyth". Am I waaay off? And do I get a prize? Go on. I'm skint. Even a cigarette will do...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

00:17 / 13.07.06

Haus, don't you find having that... that thing on your head puts you off your swing somewhat?

00:17 / 13.07.06

I had Kawabata Makoto and Cotton Casino bow down to me repeatedly when I asked for Vicky's umbrella to be returned from behind the merchandise stall, for reasons still unknown.

Said hello to Masta Killa after a show in which I hi-fived GZA.

I showed Rika from Melt Banana how to use a shower, introduced Agata and Yako to my old boss and was informed by Sudoh that I looked like Kerry King out of Slayer.

Lateef the Truth Speaker cornered me after a show and told me that he thought I was awesome and that he'd been feeding energy off me througout the whole gig.

Played a gig in which Phil Minton guested on Donald Duck vocals, shared a pint with him.

I've met all of ... And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead at least once, and chatted to Conrad Keely for a while about the finer points of instrument trashing.

Was accosted by Zoe Ball in Leicester Square when very tired first thing in the morning. She'd lost a bet with Sarah Cox and had to do her own publicity.

Drunken ran away from El-Producto after meeting him after a gig. Got totally starstruck there.

Played drums with Afrirampo and hugged the two of them afterwards. Lovely lasses. I think Pika fancied me, she seemed upset when I had to leave.

Played drums with Aids Wolf, but then everyone did that night.

Justice Yeldham pressed our album and is generally a very nice bloke.

Was told I was scarey by the two rather imposing gentlemen from The USAISAMONSTER.

Told Lydia Lunch I preferred At the Drive In to Mars Volta. Our guitarist pissed her off my saying they sounded like King Crimson and Yes, which was a compliment as far as he was concerned.

Tried to convince Josh Pearson to play a gig at one of my Dad's prophecy conferences. That never happened.

01:20 / 13.07.06

An old flatmate had a drink with the Queen Mother once...

...except "had a drink" was "he was drinking", and "the drink" lasted only a couple of minutes before security grabbed him...

Mon Oncle Ignatius

01:52 / 13.07.06

having that... that thing on your head puts you off your swing somewhat?

What a bizarre image... but I'm sure Tarby and Brucie were put off yet more.

Hey! OMG!!1! Stoatie knows L. Tarby's dog.... I know someone who knows someone who knows Brucie quite well... They're all Water Rats... Soooo - we're all three degrees away from Melvyn Hayes (who is currently also the Pope, allegedly), then to the Queen, and thus to Mr. Tony, Charles, Diana, Camilla, et al... and THE TURQUOISE LIZARDS WHO CONTROL US ALL!!!1!

Which brings it all back to the headcrabs... and thus Haus. Haus, we are all so close to you, like in an Ouroubourous kind of a way.

Isn't it nice to be connected?

paranoidwriter waves hello

03:36 / 13.07.06

having that... that thing on your head puts you off your swing somewhat?

I thought if you aint got a thing, then you aint got no swing.

09:56 / 13.07.06

My pony’s dad was once introduced to the Queen. Allegedly.

And the owner of the yard where I used to keep him was friends with a former carriage driver of the Queen.

I’ve just found a website that let’s me trace my pony’s pedigree all the way back to 1600, including pictures. I’ve finally got proof that he is related to one of the most famous racehorses of all time (Eclipse).

Look at the similarities:

Tango, bn 1984

Beadsman, Tango’s great-great-etc-grandfather, bn 1855

Nevermind…

12:38 / 13.07.06

I recently pissed next to William H Macy in a Sydney theatre.

I almost formed a band with UK comedian Jimmy Carr (only I was shite).

I was in a play with David "Peepshow" Mitchell.

I did some work in India with a mate of Gandhi's.

All pleasingly unimpressive.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:44 / 13.07.06

A friend of mine's (I think) grandfather would have been the heir to the Tizer fortune, but in a sad story (which I can't remember, but I seem to remember it involved urgently needing money for an operation or something) sold off his claim.

Whisky Priestess

19:31 / 13.07.06

I thought if you aint got a thing, then you aint got no swing.

No honey, it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

20:35 / 13.07.06

I (probably) do know someone who knows someone who knows Alan McGhee quite well.

ONLY NICE THINGS

23:08 / 13.07.06

I recently pissed next to William H Macy in a Sydney theatre.

Did he move to another seat? No offence, but I would have, and I'm a shambling, carnivorous mate of Tarby and Brucie.

23:59 / 13.07.06

I guess i should follow up on the breaking one of the Nolan Sisters legs story although it is maybe not as interesting as it sounds.

Years ago i worked in a welsh theatre as a quite lazy slap-dash lighting technician who, during the set up for a Nolan Sisters gig, forgot to gaffa down some lighting cables before going to the pub for lunch. When i got back i was confronted by an ambulance outside the theatre. Turned out that whilst i was away one of the Nolans, i think Coleen, had come out of her dressing room onto the stage, got a bit tangled up, taken a tumble off the stage, and broken her leg.

I'm happy to say though that she still played the gig that night, her leg in plaster, sat on a stool. Trooper!

A bittersweet tale though as before all this happened i'd had a lovely conversation with her and a couple of her sisters about us being related in some way (as my surname is Nolan). As it happened, when i apologised to her later she wouldn't look me in the eye and all hope to my 17 year self of going out on tour with them were dashed!

Also had crappy experiences with Lenny Henry in the bookshop where i work. He came in one day and asked if we had any Sandman graphic novels. When i pointed him in the direction of the comics and told him that he would have to look through them as we don't keep a track of what stock we have in he just stared at me for about 10 seconds then stormed out the shop.

A workmate keeps a track on some of the celebrity sightings and his Lenny-Henry sighting is here

His sightings of Mel-Smith and Nick-Cave crease me up every time i read them.

Mick Jones comes into the shop at least a couple of times a week and after quite a long time of hero worship fear had passed i'm now able to have some cool conversations with him. He even knows my first name and everything! Just don't get him on the subject of the 'tabloids treatment of Kate' or he'll never shut up!

00:10 / 14.07.06

Sorry to hogg! But my son once had a fight on top of a climbing frame in Chiswick with Bruce Dickinsons (out of IRON MAIDEN) son. They were both about 6 and me and Bruce had to calm it down a bit and tell them to aplogise to each other and do the talk about 'sharing'.

07:06 / 14.07.06

Did he move to another seat?

No - he just applauded wearily. I think he must get a lot of that.

No offence, but I would have, and I'm a shambling, carnivorous mate of Tarby and Brucie.

What, you eat meat while playing golf? Is this for charity or something?

08:20 / 14.07.06

hey! i know justice yeldham! he went to AFTRS with my girlfriend...

08:32 / 14.07.06

Again, The Nolan Effect leaves it's terriblem, malevolent legacy.

ONLY NICE THINGS

13:23 / 14.07.06

SHUUUUBUZZZZZZ MAAAAAHHHHHTTTSSSS! GOOOOOUUUUULFFFFF!

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