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Aragorn: J'accuse!

Sauron

13:01 / 06.07.06

You really are a rotter.

Haus Of Pain

13:04 / 06.07.06

Be gone you one eyed firey penis or I shall reign down upon thee with an army like middle earth has never witnessed.

And I like to spell it Aragon now, it's more you know, me.

Mistoffelees

13:10 / 06.07.06

Erowyn was too hot for you to handle, eh elf fondler?

Quantum

13:13 / 06.07.06

Eowyn's a bit horsey for anyone. Like Princess Anne in cuisse & greaves.

Haus Of Pain

13:14 / 06.07.06

Er no not really, just thought she was a bit of a munter compared to the mrs.

Anyway you Sauron have lost all your power so it's no good calling me out you pathetic winker.

Sauron

13:44 / 06.07.06

You're a dyslexic pantomime hero Aragorn and a poor speller to boot.

History of Violence was crap too.

Haus Of Pain

13:50 / 06.07.06

What the fuck would you know about anything you formless twat, you can't even do your own shoe laces up. Why's that? Because you can't buy pairs of shoes for big eggy stupid fat lidless eyes with no friends or any hope of a sexual encounter. You can't even masterbate.

One ring to rule them all? the only ring you could rule with is the one you talk out of.

Mistoffelees

14:47 / 06.07.06

Don´t take his bait, Avalorn! Don´t you see, what this thread is?

Mistoffelees

14:47 / 06.07.06

It´s a diversion.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:54 / 06.07.06

I always thought that, as halves of Spain go, Castile was way sexier.

Haus Of Pain

15:27 / 06.07.06

I see exactly what this thread is Mrflees and it's laughable. If that squeeling baboons arse thinks he's gonna rise again and take me down then he'll be laughing on the other side of Mount Doom by the time I've finished.

Orc fodder.

Baz Auckland

23:34 / 06.07.06

Pssst! You forgot the 'R'!

Imposter!

Our Lady Has Left the Building

05:27 / 07.07.06

Do you know, if you took this thread and replaced every word in it with different words, it becomes funny?

Sauron

07:54 / 07.07.06

I agree.

I'm going back to the ether. May even try out my Necromancer suit again.

Haus Of Pain

08:40 / 07.07.06

Wow, Lazy you sound great! Perhaps I should introduce you to the Dwarf he's been looking for a miserable old marsh fish for ages. You'd get on like an orc on fire.

Come on then Sauron you abominable fuck nut, bring yr eye to my sword.

love to the kids.

Our Lady Has Left the Building

09:31 / 07.07.06

I'm reporting Aragon for inciting violence against orcs.

Haus Of Pain

10:08 / 07.07.06

What! Orc's are evil, they're the one's that started it by hanging out with that old bearded block from the Wicker Man. He looked like a right weirdo to me wearing his dress and going on about "time to pass" and all that dark hippie shit. Gandalf should've iced him when he had the chance.
Speaking of Gandalf, who is a personal friend, did anyone notice how much harder and more magic he got when he washed his dress? Let that be a lesson to us all.
As for you Sauron, my next door neighbour has indicated to me that you keyed my new Ford Probe while it was in my driveway this morning. By the gates of Mordor if I catch you up our end of the cul-de-sac again I'll cut yr poodle's head off.

Back off one eyed willie.

Sauron

13:00 / 07.07.06

How the fuck could I key a probe, I haven't even got an eyelid.

Haus Of Pain

13:04 / 07.07.06

You don't need a fuckin' eye lid to key a probe though do you Sauron. You were seen in my drive at 7:45am this morning with two cave trolls keying my car. Barry from No 17 (the one with the double garage) took a photo and is having them developed at Snappy Snapps. Anymore aggro towards me or my family and I'll report you to the police.

Do you understand?

Our Lady Has Left the Building

14:27 / 07.07.06

I'm not sure the police will see you as a credible witness Aragon, what with all this orc-hatred you're spewing out.

Haus Of Pain

14:47 / 07.07.06

Do you walk around with your eye's closed?

I'm the bloody king of middle earth, I could get the police to bake me a cake made of balrog shit and feed it to their families if I chose to.

Sauron

14:52 / 07.07.06

Poke it Strider.

It's light at 7.45, how could trolls be walking through a Maunders estate? They'd be back in the East End. Indoors. Locked up. Tight.

Haus Of Pain

14:56 / 07.07.06

Bollocks! You've got that dark cloud over yr stupid fat eye head so they where in the shade. Besides Mrs Jones from the Spa sold one of 'em a tube of sunblock on tuesday afternoon. Wonder what that was for, you twisted bastard.

Also your knackered old Renault Megane was scene outside Ladbrooks at about 8am and that's 2 mins drive away you sad ego maniac.

Haus Of Pain

14:58 / 07.07.06

seen not scene Aragon King Of Middle Earth Son Of Cunch & He Who Pleasures Elves.

Sauron

15:01 / 07.07.06

Spa? Where's the frickin 'r' gone? We're in leytonstone not Belguim. You dyslexic fiddler.

And I got rid of the Megane - windscreen's small. I've nicked the Pope's golfcart.

Haus Of Pain

15:10 / 07.07.06

Not that Spar, the Spa Health Club Shop, that we're both members of you penis hole.
Funny that you say you got rid of the Megane when it's still in the Exchange & Mart! Just got this off the website:

Renault Megane Ghia 2L (E Reg)
Full Service History, good condition inside and out, some major burn marks on the upholstry, full MOT, Tax * months, minor sword scratches but no rust, good runner, just been used as a run around. A great first car or solid family saloon.
£700 ono. Contact ref: sauron12875432h-PL

Sauron

15:34 / 07.07.06

You've ruined my life once Strider son of Dave, don't ruin it again by getting chucked off this blog with this dreadful thread.

Haus Of Pain

15:45 / 07.07.06

What are you going on about? You ruined your own life by wanting to rule all of middle earth and cover it in darkness. We all tried to warn you, some of us actually tried to help you find something more constructive to do with your life. You blew it mate, nobody to blame but you.
I know it must be hard for you Dark Lord Sauron, losing your family, none of us saw that coming. To be honest much as I opposed your actions, I would have expected Sheila to stand by you, after all you did it all for her really. Nobody should have to go through that.
What happened Sauron, you were so full of joy and hope at uni. You wanted to be a Doctor for chrissake. All you have now is your twisted memories and jenny your poodle that you can't even stroke through fear of setting her on fire.

You started this war remember. You alone. Yours. Your Precious.

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