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good evening/morning/afternoon:
there follows a self-interested announcement from the ICFTHS party:
naturally, being the craven hedonism-taxxxing adventure capitalists
that we so obviously are, all pound signs for eyes and spidery
intrusive fingers, we're always somewhat sulky when ICFTHS falls on
the first day of the month.
just imagine, then, the face-wide asterisks of our envenomed pouts on
learning this month's date compounds this unabashed sin against our
advertising budget by occupying the evening following the infinitely
less entertaining England football team's latest grrreatest attempt to
wrench a noble defeat from the smiling jaws of victory.
doubtless, many of you intend to sit thru this alienating spectacle
and load up on toxins. now, we don't usually say this, but we worry
about you. we think maybe you shouldn't. why not wander around the
city centre instead and experience life as it probably would be
following some kind of population-decimating pandemic, practising bird
flu survival skills and scavenging distressed outfit ensembles from
the detritus left in doorways and alongside kerbs..? (alternately,
this is a really good time to do some serious burglarizing).
furthermore: for those *hardcore* element that fail to see sense, it
is our sad duty to inform you that beer is a drug. it is a drug,
people. and television? why, television is a social disease, like a
festering sore or a wormy eyeful of mind puke. lastly, a recent study
showed that football is evil. scientists put a human soul into a test
tube full of football and the soul went bad. it went bad like a
hundred clowns with rabies. do you really want to spend saturday
afternoon taking drugs, downloading social diseases and going evil?
the answer is NO. NO, you DON'T. better to save *that* for SATURDAY
EVENING:
IT CAME FROM THE SEA
SAT 01 JULY * B'LO 11-3 £6/5
OUR GOAL IS NET PROFIT
seriously, though. pace yrself. have a nap. try not to glass anyone.
here is a list of music we're planning on playing. if they were a
football team, their uniform wd be made of space age silver refracting
all the colours of the rainbow – or maybe cammo colours for
*stealth*. they wd have spike heels and telescopic limbs. also:
lasers. and: wings. clearly, they wd beat any of yr world cup squads -
largely by virtue of there being about a hundred and fifty of them.
fuck yr first eleven, WE ARE LEGION.
THE RAPTURE, DANDI WIND, MSTRKRFT, SPANK ROCK, WILEY, CRYSTAL CASTLES, WHITEY, YEAH YEAH YEAHS, DIPLO, THE KNIFE, KLAXONS, SHIT DISCO, PEACHES, CHAMILLIONAIRE, TIGARAH, 586, ZEIGEIST, VITALIC & LINDA LAMB, BEASTELLABEAST,
T.I, DAT POLITICS, ERASE ERRATA, E-40, TIGA, TIGER TUNES, DUCHESS SAYS, LADY
SOVEREIGN, THE GOSSIP, PARA ONE, TEAM SHADETEK, FOX'N'WOLF, EVE, YOUNG
AND RESTLESS, SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO, SHOW ME THE PINK, NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB, VYBZ KARTEL HOT CHIP, THE PRESETS, FLOSSTRADAMUS, LES SAVY FAV, LOW BUDGET + AARON LACRATE, JOAKIM, TV-OD, BONDE DE ROLE, JAE MILLZ, DAISY DAISY, MAX
PEEZAY, DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH?, TEST ICICLES, PETEY PABLO, SKULL JUICE, CANSEI DE SER SEXY, YELLE, VAN SHE, LINUS LOVES, LO-FI FNK, THE NOISETTES, DA MUSICIANZ, UFFIE, YOU SAY PARTY! WE SAY DIE! and CHRISTINA AGUILERA FEAT DJ PREMIER
x
kicking_k
Nikon Driver
PS: those of you with radar for brains will probably have noticed that
ICFTHS launches its London franchise in a couple weeks – Sat 15 July
to be precise, Bardens Boudoir, Stoke Newington. check
www.voodoolily.co.uk for further instruction. |
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