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Where would you put the ten commandments?

  
 
All Acting Regiment
12:14 / 17.06.06
Fucking hell.

Daily Show Clip

Sigh.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
10:34 / 19.06.06
I'd put them on top of the mountain and say to God "Just returning these, we've finished with them thanks! Hope there aren't any overdue fines?"

That's a thought, what if God's a librarian and the flooding of Noorleans was his way of sending an overdue notice for the return of his commandments?
 
 
Smoothly
11:31 / 19.06.06
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:35 / 19.06.06
I'd put them in a box, chuck them down a hole full of snakes and pray to God that Indiana Jones gets to them before the Nazis.

It's the tried and tested solution, anyway.
 
 
Dead Megatron
12:11 / 19.06.06
I'd put them in the page immediatly following the seven capital sins.

Except, I'd switch the titles.
 
 
Chiropteran
13:30 / 19.06.06
I'd switch the titles.

But DM, then you're going to have people pestering you about the three missing sins. A mob of shortchanged sinners can get ugly, real fast.

Me? I'd work each commandment into a little rhyme, then lay them out along the highway, Burma-Shave style.

"Hey there kids-"
.
.
.
"Don't be bad-"
.
.
.
"Be sure to honor-"
.
.
.
"Mom and Dad!"

or

"Every Sunday-"
.
.
.
"Don't be a jerk-"
.
.
.
"Go to church-"
.
.
.
"And not to work!"

Only better.

Actually, this is starting to sound familiar. No, I'm pretty sure I've actually seen this done. Never mind. I'll think of something else.
 
 
Chiropteran
13:34 / 19.06.06
P.S. - that doofus in the clip? People voted for him.

Sleep well, America.
 
 
Dead Megatron
15:29 / 19.06.06
Great, I jusr procrastinated away almost two hours of my working day watching Stephen Colbert videos at youtube.com. damn you Legba.

But DM, then you're going to have people pestering you about the three missing sins. A mob of shortchanged sinners can get ugly, real fast.

Well, we could switch the numeral in the titles (seven commandments. ten capital sins), but it's not really necessary: all you have to do is say that the Bible is never wrong, and any incongruency in it was put there by God for a reason or is just a spin from "secular godless liberal gayers" or something, and anyone who question the ten seven sins ans seven ten commmandments is a blasphemer and is going to burh in hell.

See, fun all around.
 
 
Chiropteran
15:40 / 19.06.06
Sounds like you've got all the bases covered, Megatron. Go to it!
 
 
Kiltartan Cross
16:24 / 19.06.06
So they said to Jesus, "What's the most important Commandment?", and He said, "Love God, and be nice to people."

And was promptly ignored.
 
 
Chiropteran
16:47 / 19.06.06
Kay, that's nice and all, but it's so New Testament.
 
 
grant
17:37 / 19.06.06
But DM, then you're going to have people pestering you about the three missing sins.

Funny thing: the Decalogue isn't actually numbered, so there's a bit of disagreement over which commandments are which.

What the Jews mark down as the first four, the Catholics and Lutherans mark down as three, and other Protestants have as four, but slightly differently. And they pop up in different places in the Quran, with a bit of editing regarding how exactly the Sabbath works.
 
 
Quantum
17:43 / 19.06.06
Where would I put those fat stone tablets? Right up Dubyah's backside, that's where. I bet he's coveting Iran's Ox right now.
 
 
Dead Megatron
18:27 / 19.06.06
Funny thing: the Decalogue isn't actually numbered, so there's a bit of disagreement over which commandments are which.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was a bit somewhere in it about not making/worshiping idols that we Catholics completely thrown out the window, ain't it?

So they said to Jesus, "What's the most important Commandment?", and He said, "Love God, and be nice to people."

And was promptly ignored.

Strong truth, verily...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:40 / 19.06.06
And was promptly ignored.

Kay, you forgot the "and tortured to death" part.
 
 
Triplets
18:42 / 19.06.06
In a hollow asteroid orbiting a black hole.
 
 
Chiropteran
18:52 / 19.06.06
In a hollow asteroid orbiting a black hole.

That's my new "...in bed" when reading fortune cookies (replacing current favorite "...on ice").
 
 
Triplets
19:01 / 19.06.06
So they said to Jesus, "What's the most important Commandment?", and He said, "Love God, and be nice to people."

And was promptly ignored.

And tortured to death.

In a hollow asteroid orbiting a black hole.

Hee.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:07 / 19.06.06
Wow. You guys have a much cooler Bible than me.
 
 
Chiropteran
19:09 / 19.06.06
Well, you kinda have to read between the lines a little bit.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
19:25 / 19.06.06
You got any pics?
 
 
electric monk
19:54 / 19.06.06
Yea, verily!

  
 
Dead Megatron
19:59 / 19.06.06
So they said to Jesus, "What's the most important Commandment?", and He said, "Love God, and be nice to people."

And was promptly ignored.

And tortured to death.

In a hollow asteroid orbiting a black hole.

Where a honey badger would come - in badger-piloted spaceship - and eat his liver every night. With French wine

[c'mon people, let's not stop now]
 
 
All Acting Regiment
20:09 / 19.06.06
I wonder if pontius pilate ever did a shit that looked like a cathedral.
 
 
Jackie Susann
23:49 / 19.06.06
I can't believe I know more commandments than that idiot.
 
 
Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown
00:38 / 20.06.06
"Why is it that we here so much from this White House about the First Ammendmant, and not NEARLY enough abou the First Commandment: Honor Thy Father."
-John Van Dyke, The West Wing (Series Pilot)
 
 
astrojax69
03:44 / 20.06.06
So they said to Jesus, "What's the most important Commandment?", and He said, "Love God, and be nice to people."

And was promptly ignored.

And tortured to death.

In a hollow asteroid orbiting a black hole.

Where a honey badger would come - in badger-piloted spaceship - and eat his liver every night. With French wine.

...which is laced with strycchnine and acid and four parts tonic, which wine be consum'd by santa on his annual travels...
 
 
Slim
04:23 / 20.06.06
I'd probably have them scrolling on the bottom of the tv screen continuously, similar to stock prices and sports updates.
 
 
Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo
05:36 / 20.06.06
As a West Wing Geek, I have to corrent you.

Van Dyke says that the First Commandment is honor thy father, and Toby tries to correct him, which leads to this great dialogue:

TOBY
No, if I’m gonna make you sit through this preposterous exercise, we’re gonna get the names of the damn commandments right.

MARY
Okay. Here we go.

TOBY
"Honor thy Father" is the Third Commandment.

VAN DYKE
Then what’s the First Commandment?

A booming voice comes from off screen. The camera moves to show PRESIDENT JED BARTLET with a cane standing in the doorway with several Secret Service agents.

PRESIDENT JED BARTLET
"I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt worship no other God before me." Boy, those were the days, huh?
 
  
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