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Oh! maha OK

 
 
ibis the being
13:32 / 12.06.06
It appears I might be moving from my longtime Massachusetts home to Omaha, Nebraska... maybe in about a year, for financial and familial reasons. I expect the transition from urban New England to suburban Midwest would be rather dramatic - or would it? Reading up on the city of Omaha it sounds nearly like heaven on earth, though of course this is the job of tourist guides.

By any chance is anyone here familar with that part of the US? Barring that, does anyone have a similar experience of moving from a coastal city to the middle of the country, and how did you adjust? I think I'm really going to miss the ocean.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
03:40 / 13.06.06
...

Well, I'm afraid I've never been that far west ibis (for some reason I always seem to travel eastward. Curious.). The good news, though, is that you're considerably closer to my house, so if you really get bored and want to drive across Iowa and half of Illinois, we can party or summon up the elder gods or something cool like that.

From what I've heard from others, though, Omaha is easily the coolest and most exciting part of Nebraska (admittingly, that's not saying too much), and the city has a nice sized population. I'm sure there's fun stuff to do around there.
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
03:42 / 13.06.06
I stopped in Omaha once on my way to Colorado, but didn't stay long, so I have little to offer on that front. It saddens me that the pool of New England 'lithers is going to drop by one. Good luck!
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
13:06 / 13.06.06
I know that twat Conor Oberst lives there. And if you see him, run him over, would you?
 
 
ibis the being
20:15 / 13.06.06
Hm, I figured there was a slim chance anyone here was from Nebraska but it was worth a try! I guess Illinois isn't too far....

I know I'm going to be a little homesick but I'm excited at the same time. Things go could either way for my career out there - it's possible there would be no work for me, but then again I could wind up being a big fish in a small pond (here there is SO much competition). According to the stats I've read the median & average incomes are higher there than here, though the cost of living is lower pretty much all around. And the prospect of more open space, particularly for running around with the dog, is exhilarating. We're going for a visit this fall so I'll get some better idea of what I'm in for.

Conor Oberst, how glorious... I've been reading that Omaha is something of an indie rock hotspot so at least I'll still be cool.
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
20:25 / 13.06.06
I suppose that depends on whether you think indie rock is cool...

You will run Oberst over with a car for us, yes?
 
 
ibis the being
21:18 / 13.06.06
Of course.

I was only kidding about being cool... I've never been cool and I don't plan to start.
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
12:08 / 14.06.06
Seriously, a large payout will be handed over in the event of Conor Oberst's "untimely death."
 
 
grant
15:34 / 14.06.06
"Agricultural tourism is the marriage of two of our state’s most important industries," Governor Heineman said. "Taking time to enjoy Nebraska destinations like a corn maze or pumpkin patch is a good way to connect with our rural traditions while supporting the entrepreneurial spirit of our farmers and ranchers."


And CARHENGE.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
19:15 / 14.06.06
See, now, I realize this is coming directly from my irrational dislike of visiting anything farm-related, but that seems to me like a prime example of how not to do something fun.
 
 
ibis the being
19:46 / 14.06.06
A corn maze, eh? They really lost out on a prime punning opportunity there.

That reminds me of some brochures I saw when I went cross-country years ago, for some kind of giant corn house or corn castle? I can't remember which state it's in but I think it's the biggest dwelling in the country made completely out of corn... or something. Google isn't helping so far.
 
 
ibis the being
19:50 / 14.06.06
Ah, how could I forget - it was a Corn Palace.
 
 
grant
15:08 / 15.06.06
Actually, there's some corn-maze building company called "MAiZE" -- I think they own cornmaze.com.
 
 
grant
19:53 / 18.06.06
Kool-Aid and the world's largest indoor rain forest.

Among other things.
 
 
grant
20:01 / 18.06.06
Oh, and the first thing I should've thought about:

A great album named for a famous killing spree.

(I wrote a song about the same event, over yonder, track five. It's a great story.)
 
 
Jack Fear
20:59 / 18.06.06
We get out to Omaha every couple of years—D's mom lives out there—and we always have a good time.

One thing I've noticed about Omaha—and a lot of midwestern cities, really—is that they've got a very different vibe from old coastal cities because they're planned cities, with a stricter grid of streets, designed on a planner's drafting table rather than evolving from wagon-roads and cow-paths. Despite this—perhaps because of it—there are fewer natural focal points, less of a sense of "downtown."

There are outskirts of endless highway, where the famniliar brand-names go by like a cheaply-animated background in a 1970s Hanna-Barbera cartoon: you'll pass an Olive Garden, then a Taco Bell, then a Target, then a KMart, then a Taco Bell, then a Target, then an Olive Garden... It gets a little disorienting.

Enormous enclaves of leafy suburban-style streets, ranch-shouses and two-story colonials, little yards and swimming pools, tow-headed kids everywhere. Further inside the city the houses are smaller, older, closer together; there aren't as many pools, and the kids in the street are more likely to be black or Latino—Mexican, mostly. Store 24 and 7-11 give way to little independent bodegas and Carribean groceries as you drive further in.

And you will drive. The midwest is a place of automotive culture. Your public transportation are pretty limited: there's the bus, and... well, yeah, the bus. There are active movements to bring light rail and/or a downtown trolley system, but don't hold your breath. Highways crisscross the city, ring it, fly over it, knit it together.

Other than that, it's a place, you know? An American city like any other. You can find what you're looking for, if you look hard enough. The Doorly Zoo, mentioned above, is indeed amazing, probably the best zoo I've ever been to. There's minor league baseball. Plenty of live music venues—a lot of country, but certainly not exclusively. The Old Market is there, lots of tourist-funky shops but lots of genyuine-funky ones, too—used-book stores, intimidating, chaotic used-record stores, vintage clothing, art galleries and good food on quiet, clean brick streets.

I spent the best New Year's Eve of my life in Omaha, getting legless drunk and listening to a tight, rowdy a capella four-piece belting out sea chanteys for a wildly-enthusiastic indie-rock crowd. For that reason alone, I'll always have a fondness for the place.
 
 
quixote
02:14 / 19.06.06
I don't know if your politics and general outlook are average for a 'lither. If so, you'll find the politics in the Plains states a couple of standard deviations (and I do mean deviations) to the right of what you'd consider normal. I grew up in Cambridge, Mass, and lived in the south Midwest for a while. For me, the politics was the freakiest part. It got real old, trying to be polite for years on end to nice people expressing lunatic / fascist / retarded opinions. I'm not interested in most US sports (World Cup, that's different), so there were almost no neutral topics except the weather. That gets old after a while, too.
 
 
ibis the being
22:14 / 19.06.06
they're planned cities, with a stricter grid of streets, designed on a planner's drafting table rather than evolving from wagon-roads and cow-paths.

This sounds heavenly after trying to find my way around Boston for four years.

The picture you paint of the chain stores along the highway, the white suburbia and more multicultural urban areas... really sounds like any other American city I've ever been to or lived in. I think aside from NYC that's how most US cities look.

And you will drive. The midwest is a place of automotive culture. Your public transportation are pretty limited

Not a problem since I have to drive for my job. But we're probably going to be able to ditch one car (my shitbox) and share my BF's when we get there, since he's changing careers and won't need one anymore.

I don't know if your politics and general outlook are average for a 'lither. If so, you'll find the politics in the Plains states a couple of standard deviations (and I do mean deviations) to the right of what you'd consider normal. I grew up in Cambridge, Mass, and lived in the south Midwest for a while. For me, the politics was the freakiest part.

My politics are pretty lefty and so are my BF's, but we are both from conservative families in conservative communities (churches) so this won't be a huge shock for us, I don't think. In a way I'm thinking optimistically in that our votes will matter more than they ever could in liberal MA. I don't really talk politics with anyone besides my boyfriend anyway so I don't think I'd feel uncomfortable holding a minority opinion.

However, I do sometimes feel a nebulous concern about someday raising a child/children in such a homogeneous environment. We talk a lot about adopting, and I wonder if it would be fair - or if I'm up to the challenges - of possibly raising a child who may be of a different race than we are and most Nebraskans are in a (something like) 75-80% white population/schools. But that's so far in the future I suppose it's no good worrying about it just yet.
 
 
quixote
19:21 / 20.06.06
Um, ibis, I hate to rain on your optimism, but ... it doesn't sound like you have a clear picture of the situation. How can I tell?

1) "We come from conservative communities." If you mean in western Massachusetts or anything north of the Mason-Dixon line and east of the Mississippi, that's a whole different world. I have a sister-in-law from small town Wisconsin who was making the same argument before moving to Utah. Coming from Cambridge, I agreed that she dealt with plenty of conservatives, but I kept telling her that she had no idea. Red state conservatives are something else, I kept telling her. She's been there going on two years now, has met lots of people because she's the outgoing, friendly type. And so far, hasn't met a single person she'd consider a friend or want to see more than a few times a year. She's shocked they're all so crazy. I'm a restrained and polite person (evidence to the contrary from Barbelith will not be admitted in court) so I haven't said "I told you so."

2)holding a minority opinion. It's not a matter of your opinion. It's a matter of what the majority opinion is. It's not quite like listening to Coulter on a daily basis, but it is a lot like listening to Limbaugh. I had the choice between politely letting some truly phenomenal bigotry or ignorant cruelty pass by, or wrecking just about every social situation by calling people on it. I couldn't do the latter, and yet silence made me feel complicit. That really bothered me, and I never found a solution I could live with. You may be more socially adept.

3)votes. they may matter more there. last time I looked, Nebraska was fire engine red, and your votes would just drown, but things are changing a lot in most places.

4)children. I had a couple of friends raising two kids in a place that shall remain nameless. They were biologists. Their kids were not stupid, and heard ma and pa talking biology over dinner. And yet, the kids came home one day talking about creationism like it's a fact. The boy's highest ambition gradually morphed into goin mud-buggin with his buds. One day, as we were all in a van, they said something about some Hispanic roadworkers we passed that made my hair stand on end. The mom instantly laid into them, but that's the fight you're up against. Parents are only a small part of how kids grow up. And as for the idea of adopting a not-lily-white child, you need to think really long and hard about what you'd be putting the kid through, and whether one has a right to do that. I'm not saying that I know the answer to that. With the right people, including the right child, it would be a mind-expanding experience for everybody. But it would be very far from easy.

All that said, Omaha, as the big city, is going to be less pernicious than some truly rural burg.

I guess what I'm suggesting is try to make sure you have a way of moving out of there if you find it's not as do-able as you'd hoped. There's no way to see this stuff without living there. On a visit, most people seem very friendly and open-handed. And they really are friendly. They're just also nuts.
 
 
ibis the being
22:25 / 20.06.06
Um, ibis, I hate to rain on your optimism, but ... it doesn't sound like you have a clear picture of the situation. How can I tell?

1) "We come from conservative communities." If you mean in western Massachusetts or anything north of the Mason-Dixon line and east of the Mississippi, that's a whole different world.[...]Red state conservatives are something else, I kept telling her.


Not from Western MA and I despise Cambridge, just for the record.

By "community" I mean being raised in a very conservative family and very conservative church community. Pulled out of school on Halloween, taught Creationism, the whole nine. So really I am, at least by birth & origin, "something else." No, I've never lived in a "red state," but Conservative Christians are not the aliens from outer space to me that they seem to be to you. They're my mom and dad, aunts and uncles and cousins, and all the people I grew up with until I left home. And as I made very brief mention of in my opening post, we are actually moving to NE to be with family - my SO's family, who are as conservative & Christian as mine. So no, we aren't going to be shocked.


2)holding a minority opinion. It's not a matter of your opinion. It's a matter of what the majority opinion is. It's not quite like listening to Coulter on a daily basis, but it is a lot like listening to Limbaugh. I had the choice between politely letting some truly phenomenal bigotry or ignorant cruelty pass by, or wrecking just about every social situation by calling people on it. I couldn't do the latter, and yet silence made me feel complicit. That really bothered me, and I never found a solution I could live with. You may be more socially adept.

Ah, you mean like listening to Limbaugh's radio show every single day at work? I have to laugh. My dad is one of the biggest Dittoheads in the nation. One summer my SO and I lived AND worked with him. We listened to Limbaugh all day long. We argued and argued with him and my stepmom, until finally - when my stepmom stated firmly there WERE definitely WMDs found in Iraq, and this was in 2004 - we all agreed to just leave it be. We got along fine - even when we were arguing, in fact. Thinking that each other was a raving delusional about politics didn't make us love each other any less.

The children thing, well, like I said that's a real concern. But who knows what will happen between now and then. Maybe we'll find ourselves in a wonderful, tolerant community... maybe we'll move... maybe we'll make a hard decision about whether to bring children into that world, I just don't know yet.

I guess what I'm suggesting is try to make sure you have a way of moving out of there if you find it's not as do-able as you'd hoped. There's no way to see this stuff without living there. On a visit, most people seem very friendly and open-handed. And they really are friendly. They're just also nuts.

I've lived in a few places, and my SO has lived in quite a few more than me. I think I'm old enough now to have a realistic idea about what it is I need and desire in a hometown, as opposed to just fantastizing about some cool lifestyle I'm going to lead. I mean, I hear Nebraska has Netflix and Coldstone. What more could I want? I kid, but seriously I don't subscribe to your notion that conservatives or Christians can be dismissed as "nuts." I think they're wrong in many of their beliefs, yes, but they're still human beings.
 
 
grant
23:57 / 20.06.06
Mysterious neighbors.

Famous, too.

In some circles.
 
 
grant
00:35 / 21.06.06
Oh, and on the transracial adoption front, there's an FCC group in Omaha with at least 150 members (the FCC main site info is usually old, and numbers have been going up everywhere).

I know Minnesota has a huge population of adopted Korean kids & adults -- I think Holt Int'l is HQed there, and I know there's a lot of Chinese cultural stuff going on in Ann Arbor and NW Ohio, but that's not really very close to Nebraska.

On the domestic adoption tip, Nebraska does seem to have a pretty good foster care system (certainly better than where I live).


Adoption resources for Nebraska, and an official overview of the system.


More general measures of diversity:

Statistics from 2001:
During the past decade, the number of same-sex households “grew significantly” in 10 states for which figures have been released: more than 700 percent in Delaware and Nevada; more than 400 percent in Vermont, Indiana, Louisiana and Nebraska; and more than 200 percent in Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts and Montana.

Census data:
-Of Nebraska's 1.7 million residents, about 19 percent were between age 5 and 17 in 2000. But of the 24,000 in Nebraska who chose two or more races, 34 percent were school age. Not too many kids, but a lot of them are multiracial.


Oh, and Nebraska has at least one famous transracial adoptee
 
 
ibis the being
01:29 / 21.06.06
Yay, thank you so much grant. I'm going to let my SO have a look at all of these links with me.... How cool.
 
 
alas
01:48 / 21.06.06
I just returned from really small town, uber-rural Midwest. It's so beautiful, to me--the rolling hills, the green of the cornfields lighting up with fireflies at about 9 o'clock every night, the prairies being restored.

And Omaha is pretty cool, actually, from many reports--we stayed in Lincoln when we passed through there a few years back, and had a good time.

But during this trip the absolutely overt bigotry and racism, and the narrow gender norms of my family and local home territory kept hitting me. I absolutely couldn't live there in the rural part, close to home, myself--but midwest college towns and larger cities are often pretty liveable, in my experience.

Like Grant, I hope you will consider domestic adoption, adoption from foster care, if the system is workable there. Transnational adoption is not inherently evil, but it is ethically complex and requires, I believe, a great deal of research and soul searching about motivations and political complexities, its etwinement in histories of colonization.

This is an issue near and dear to my heart, so I apologize in advance if I sound like I'm preaching, but I wish more people were aware of the history of adoption, as an institution, because it really was designed primarily to serve the interests of adults to raise children, not to primarily serve children in need, and that history entwines with the exploitation and power-diferences of globalization (serving the Western consumer-based economy) in transnational adoption in some very troubling ways. Not insurmountable, by any means, but real.

So in particular I hope you'll take a good amount of time to explore the writings of transnational adoptees before and as you decide. Jane Jeong Trenka, for example says, '"It's the American paternalistic thing that we put on other countries . . . We say, 'Oh we can give you THIS, and it's much better than THIS', but actually that's not true. Transracial adoption is this big pile of gains, and it's this big pile of loss, and you just sit in paradox. The best adoptive parents I know sit in paradox right with me."' She has a blog, some books, and Grant can hook you up with many excellent and challenging online and offline sources about transnational/transracial adoption.
 
 
ibis the being
11:00 / 21.06.06
Alas, I completely understand what you're saying. I have a lot of reservations about transnational adoption myself... my partner is more interested in it, and for that reason it will be something we'll consider. However, more generally, since we have no intention of deliberately seeking to adopt a white child (American or not), we have to consider what being an interracial family could mean for us. At any rate, I'm not the type to make a decision like that without researching almost to the point of absurdity. Right now nearly all options are on the table for us, including fostering - but nothing's in the immediate future.
 
 
quixote
16:00 / 22.06.06
ibis, it was not my intention to be condescending. Not at all. Not in the slightest. It's just that I've seen this before, on myself and others. Sure, it may be different for you. But I really didn't mean that all conservative Christians have two heads. The difference is that the ones with two heads that I'm talking about are pro-torture. See nothing wrong with it. And it goes on from there. I have a suspicion that your Dad is not like that. Anyway, all I mean is be cautious, leave yourself a way out, and take care.

Best wishes on your move!

(Despise Cambridge, huh? That's my hometown.)
 
  
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