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Somebody Stop Me!

 
 
electric monk
19:41 / 09.06.06
I am standing at the edge of the Abyss and considering what jolly fun it might be to jump in. I have another Safari window open next to this one. In that window is the registration page for Byrne Robotics. I am seriously considering signing up and entering the debate on Alan Moore's Miracleman. I must be out of my mind. NO good can come of this. It's a fool's errand. But ooooooh the temptation.

This is a bad idea, right?
 
 
Dead Megatron
19:53 / 09.06.06
Isn't Byrne that self-righteous comic writer/artist who writes dialogues and plots like he was 9 years old and whose last decent work was Superman's after-Crisis on Infinite Earths' "make-over"?

Yeah, bad idea big time

A thought: Byrne is the anti-Frank Miller. Discuss
 
 
electric monk
19:59 / 09.06.06
Isn't Byrne that self-righteous comic writer/artist who writes dialogues and plots like he was 9 years old and whose last decent work was Superman's after-Crisis on Infinite Earths' "make-over"?

Yes. YES!


OH GOD, I WANT TO POKE HIM WITH STICKS! STICKS WITH POO ON THEM!
 
 
electric monk
20:01 / 09.06.06
Perhaps I shouldn't drink at work...
 
 
Dead Megatron
20:11 / 09.06.06
You know, I was checking out Byrne's forum and I've come to a conclusion: Byrne is dead jealous of the recognition Alan Moores gets as a "serious writer", which he himslef will never get.

Here are some examples:

All right, let's take TOM STRONG, just as a f'rinstance. This is a 40s style action hero much in the same mode as Doc Savage. Yet, as seen so many times before, this is Moore doing "nostalgia" with things about which he clearly does not feel nostalgic. And he can't help himself, can he? He has to pull the reader out of the mood. Not having looking at any TOM STRONG stuff for a while, I set aside the trade paperback that came in one of my DC bundles a while back. Took a couple of months to get around to looking at it, but when I flipped thru, what did I find? Naked sex scenes. Not full out naked. Not full out sex. But also not the kind of thing you'd expect from the pulp fiction that was supposed to be the inspiration for this character and series.

So it becomes the "adult" version of stuff that was never supposed to be "adult" in the first place -- and in the end, what is that but a variation on "everything you know is a lie"?

By all means -- if you like Moore's stuff, read it, enjoy it, recommend it to your friends. But don't pretend it's something it's not.


Yeah, too bad Moore dared to try and add something new and mature and iconoclast to the pre-pubescent fantasies Byrne seem to be uncapable of outgrowing

Not to mention his political insights:

Something happened to England after I left. The people who had fought thru the Blitz, survied Dunkirk, produced Shakespeare, carved an empire upon which the sun never set --- morphed into a nation of nihilistic whiners. "Fascist England", a term that could be coined only by someone who had never personally experienced Fascism.

What the %#^# happened?


Don't have the guts to write "fuck" online, Johnny?
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
20:11 / 09.06.06
Dear monk:

This is a guttwrenchingly bad idea. No. Stop it. You're better than those morons. Just stop.
 
 
electric monk
20:21 / 09.06.06
So it becomes the "adult" version of stuff that was never supposed to be "adult" in the first place...

This from the man who painstakingly photoshopped an FF costume on a cheesecake model and posted it on his website. Just amazing.

GRF-RRRRGH-DDD-MRPH!


I will not. I will not. I WILL NOT waste my time on that board. I wil drink water, rid myself of this self-righteous beer buzz, and post here instead.
 
 
Tom Paine's Bones
20:28 / 09.06.06
Their most popular thread is "Women What We Fancy". Just don't.
 
 
electric monk
20:37 / 09.06.06
I think what irks me is that the guy can't just say, "Y'know, I don't enjoy his stuff. Here's why," and let the debate roll on from there. Nooo. He's got to assert the rightness of whatever he says over and over even if he ends up contradicting himself. He talks endlessly about "Bad Byrne" stories and how none of them are true, yet the man writes a new "Bad Byrne" story every day!

Why does this irk me? I have no idea. Why do I lurk the damn site in the first place? I have no idea. Okay, some idea. That shit is pretty funny at times. Hell, it's damn funny. And easy for me to pick apart. An easy demon to battle and slay. And I get to be a big smarty, don't I?

Wow. Y'all are absolutely right. Horrible fucking idea. And bad bad monk for even thinking the thought.

----------

You're better than those morons.

I dunno about that, but I will say my bullshit-o-meter is vastly superior to theirs in every way.

Their most popular thread is "Women What We Fancy".

Doesn't that just crack you the fuck up?
 
 
Tom Paine's Bones
20:46 / 09.06.06
Oh, and to put the final kaboosh on this idea, according to their ToC you aren't welcome.

Membership in the JBF is strictly limited to fans of the work of John Byrne.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:58 / 09.06.06
DON'T DO IT, MONK.

Or we'll have to arrange an Intervention, and I hate all that new age touchy-feely bollocks.

Christ, I feel terrible about myself merely for browsing the damn place every couple of weeks or so when I'm bored at work. To join would be like a stain on my very soul.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:23 / 09.06.06
Something happened to England after I left.

Whhy did you leave us, John? It's. Your. Fault. Without you, we fell into decadence.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:27 / 09.06.06
I bet his old house is now occupied by gayers and Latina women who "look like hookers".

So not all bad, then. At least the neighbourhood got rid of the beardy megalomaniacs.
 
 
Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown
06:49 / 10.06.06
I now imagine John Byrne as the image on the Emperor tarot card. Sitting on a throne. At his feet is all of England.

If you reverse the card, it animates itself: Byrne gets off, flips off the reader, and walks out of the card like one've those Dumebledore trading cards in Harry Potter. In his abscence, men begin making out while people cheer them on. Somewhere in the background, Alan Moore stands cackling. If you look real close, you realize that his pose is identical to the Devil card.

If you reverse the card over again, Byrne returns, but he looks kind of tired and keeps mouthing off at you for making him go away in the first place.

Don't do it, Monk. Its not worth it. There are peer groups you can talk to. Highly trained support professionals to council you NOT to make this life altering choice. Seek professional help before its too late.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
22:27 / 10.06.06
A thought: Byrne is the anti-Frank Miller.

They actually have an increasing amount in common these days, politically.
 
  
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