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Underground > Games & Gameplay >

May I be crowned King of the Iron Fist?

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

01:06 / 08.06.06

Barbelith already has a king, and so far he's done a damn fine job. The trains run on time, the chickens crow at sun-up and the wolves howl at the moon. A bang up job, all things considered. Nevermind that he became king simply by declaring himself such, we all grant him what sovereignty we can.

I realized the other day that I very much want to be recognized as the premiere Tekken player on Barbelith. I want to be Barbelith's champion. Should any other message board taunt Barbelith's wrecking ability in regard to Tekken, I would step up and defend Barbelith's honor with much blood-letting and face-smashing. In short, I want to be recognized as Barbelith's resident King of the Iron Fist.

Please note that this is not an attempt to usurp Barbelith's monarch. I promise to serve with honor, and to talk shit nonstop to my opponents whilst I trash them utterly.

Obviously, with no online function for any of the Tekken games, the chances of me actually being able to prove my abilities to anyone I don't already know is slim to nil. But I really want the title anyway, and you can trust me when I say I will destroy all opponents and not bring shame to my honorable station.

Jake, Colossus of Clout

02:00 / 08.06.06

Depends on the Tekken version. I haven't played the new one, and 4 and Tag were shit, but I can murder any fool in Tekken 3. Tekken 3 was the pinnacle of Tekken, and I can beat anybody with Jack, period.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

06:00 / 08.06.06

I suppose I should link to this thread, where I wax briefly about my love for Tekken.

Jake:

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahha hahahahahhahaha hahahhaha hahahahahhahahah ahahahahhahaahah hahahhahhahahahahaha hahahhhahahahahah hahahhahah hahah you fool. Jack? Are you serious? I'm afraid you've already revealed your inadequacy as a challenger. The Tekken 3 Jack is a joke to me. Your skills, sir, are a joke to me. I used to train by fighting him on the highest possible difficulty level. Until it got too easy. I can waste him so bad it's funny to me. I'm laughing, right now, at the idea of me fighting motherfucking Gunjack.

09:10 / 08.06.06

Well. I have recently started gunning the practice on Tekken 5, in fact. I quite like it, but it's no Virtua Fighter. (I haven't played VF since 2; really want to get into 4).

Anyway: I would accept your challenge were you in the vicinity. At one point I might have been the best Street Fighter 3 player on Barbelith, but not many people here play it, and in the wider scheme of things, I suck at it.

That *does* have an online mode, though...

5 is better than 3. Five is like the sequel to 3, from what I can tell, in feel. It's nice. Also, the new characters are fun; Feng is a tank as long as he keeps going forward (fast-Heihachi is the best way I can explain him); Raven is uber-pokey, but quite fun as a result; and Asuka is just fantastic. Asuka isn't hugely fast, but she's very rhythmic, and has a) a great mix-up game and b) awesome reversals. I can just about reverse on sight with Asuka.

I like reversals a lot, incidentally, hence my love of Dead or Alive and VF-Akira.

Other than that, Steve looks interesting and worth getting to know, and Baek is awfully fun - more fun than Hwoarang, for sure.

16:07 / 08.06.06

At one point I might have been the best Street Fighter 3 player on Barbelith

Ahem. I seem to recall a small matter of... what was it... 6:1? 7:2?

17:21 / 08.06.06

I believe that point was about two days before you bought the damn game, Dupre.

18:29 / 08.06.06

Tuna Ghost isn't lying when he says that he's an excellent Tekken player. I have seen him prove his mettle many a time at the local arcade. Every now and then a brave soul steps up to challenge TG only to walk away while openly weeping a scant thirty seconds later.

However, the last time we played I beat TG in two straight rounds using Nina.

19:27 / 08.06.06

Ah, Nina - I haven't even touched Nina yet. She's quite complex from my brief samples of her - quite fast, rather powerful, but based on shorter, stronger chains, not the bam-bam-bam of Xiaoyu or Hwoarang.

I'm not learning the characters fast enough; I get good with one, but then try and learn another and promptly forget the first.

"Arcade" on T5 keeps me busy, though; I just managed to beat a 1st Dan Brian (ugh, that was hard), but found a Shinsen Christie a bit too much.

I'm alright at chipping away health, but I'm at that point where I have to learn blocking patterns of strings. Similarly, I'm getting better with the fast characters, but find that I'm struggling against better solid characters. Also Wang - Wang has a habit of launching into big, big evil strings.

So: people who are better than me at this game; tips for the top? I'm fairly knowledgable on move-sets, and mix up "doing a big fuck off string" and "doing a very small part of that and then comboing into something else". Also, I'm pretty sharp on the reversals, especially with Asuka, who's quickly becoming my favourite character.

But yes: tips?

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

02:18 / 09.06.06

However, the last time we played I beat TG in two straight rounds using Nina.

a. that never happened, b. I was drunk, and c. if you recall, I was the one playing as nina. Your whole story is a facade. A facade for a house of cards.

Slim jokes, but in all truth he recognizes my talent for seriousing effing people up in Tekken. You may have picked up, from this thread and the other, that I'm pretty confident in my Tekken skills. I'm like this in person. I'm totally the mayor from The Oblongs as far as Tekken goes.

But we're starting to veer off topic. This thread is primarily for the announcement that I am Barbelith's Tekken champion, and that until someone defeats me in a title match, I will remain so (I'm expecting this announcement to come any day now. I've decided to petition the king). You have no reason to fear, I will not abuse the clout my new position will naturally lend me.

03:02 / 09.06.06

Okay, I lied. Sue me. But I'm going to announce that it is my mission to remove Tuna from his position the next time I see him. I will humble him before his king and all the pitiful Tekken players on this board.

13:33 / 12.06.06

I myself am middle-calibur at best (I'm a Christie/Eddy fan though I do like Nina) but I think I know someone who will take your hubris-filled challenge. He beat me senseless with everybody until I learnt the hard way, then he used Hwoarang to smack me down some more, until I got good enough to withstand everyone but Lei. My friend's Wu Xing fist is impeccable.
How adept is your switch between Lei styles? Can you go from Falling Blade to Pheonix Strike at will?
Can you win with Panda on ultra hard while pissed?
Are you really King of the Iron Fist?

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

17:35 / 14.06.06

How adept is your switch between Lei styles?

Pretty damn adept. I'm all about the Kung fu.

Can you win with Panda on ultra hard while pissed?
Are you really King of the Iron Fist?

Yes and fuck yes.

19:58 / 14.06.06

Tuna is king of Iron Fist. (hahahahaha, sorry man, I'm super busy, I can always edit later to make it sound more official)

06:47 / 15.06.06

Tuna is king of Iron Fist.

I may very well have to challenge you on this, my dear Tuna. It seems I too have on occasion been declared King of Iron Fist. My skill and prowess in regards to the tournament of legends is known across the land. No one has ever succeeded in challenging and defeating my Kazuya, he is undefeated Tekken Lord. And what with the PSP version on it's way I fear my skill will only grow in leaps and bounds...ultimately, making me unstoppable.

ORA ORA ORA ORAAAA!!

13:20 / 15.06.06

I'd have taken you on when T3 was out, but now I am old, and my skills are weak.

I'm going to sit somewhere and watch everyone else beat each other to death.

And try and find my playstation again.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

04:40 / 16.06.06

My skill and prowess in regards to the tournament of legends is known across the land. No one has ever succeeded in challenging and defeating my Kazuya, he is undefeated Tekken Lord.

Mmm. Your credentials are impressive, and Kazuya is a wrecking crew all by himself (I have often admired the rib shattering impacts of his middle punch combos) in the right hands...but ultimately, before he could face my Paul or Nina, Bryan Fury would show him what punch to the ribcage really is.

And what with the PSP version on it's way I fear my skill will only grow in leaps and bounds...ultimately, making me unstoppable.

Good god. I had no idea a PSP version is coming.

I'm torn: I hunger for online conquest, but I know the PSP's inherent fragility cannot withstand my crushing power. I'm totally serious, if my experiences with Darkstalkers: Tower of Purgatory are anything to go by, half the damn buttons will stop functioning completely about an hour into the game. *Rends mantle in twain to symbolize inner conflict*

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

04:48 / 16.06.06

Tuna is king of Iron Fist.

Imagine these words fashioned into some kind of magnificent belt buckle. Now picture me atop a mound of fallen bodies, some of them corpses of velociraptors, gazing defiantly at an onrushing army, my loins girded with said buckle.

13:28 / 17.06.06

Bryan Fury would show him what punch to the ribcage really is. So true...

Tuna Ghost is atop a mound of bodies (some of them Pandas with handbags) with silly Bryan hair. But he seems to be King of the Iron Fist, so whaddyagonnado?

HAIL TUNA GHOST! A MAN IS TRULY MASTER OF TEKKEN WHEN HIS CONTROLLER IS RENT IN TWAIN BY THE MIGHT OF HIS THUMBS! TRUTH!