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Helping people to feel censored.

 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:38 / 06.06.06
Recently, iit's become pretty clear that people on Barbelith want to feel like they are being censored by oppressive moderators. See furioso, citing George Orwell's classic tale of a totalitarian government utterly crushing the human spirit as the only sane metaphor to encapsulate the horror of a topic abstract being changed from a statement that Seaguy part 2 will be out shortly to a statement that Seaguy 2 will not be out shortly, just because Seaguy 2 will not be out shortly. Also see Waggling Naughty Finger - afeared that he may at any moment feel the knock on the door at the middle of the night.

Unfortuately, these and many others through the years have been and will be disappointed to find that Barbelith simply does not have the appparatus to oppress them, and that in fact they will be able to post with a considerable degree of freedom anything, be it ever so ill-informed, that bounces into their heads. This is clearly not a satisfactory state of affairs, and I can't imagine they'll be able to enjoy Barbelith if it fails so abjectly to meet their clear desire to be SILENCED. Was George Morrison (not) die for nothing?

So, a proposition for the goood of the board. I volunteer to be the Barbelith Censor. This role will involve complete power to moderate and delete posts and logins, without the need for approval. This power will never be used to censort soomebody due to their politics, beliefs or any other factor - except one.

The moment somebody complains that they are being censored, or threatened with censorship, on sketchy grounds, I will spring into action. Their suit password will be changed. The content of their recent posts will be altered to suggest a variety of shocking and disgusting sexual proclivities. The suits of various other members will be hijacked, briefly, to condemn them for these proclivities, and then returned to the owners. I will then return the suit to the censoree, briefly, and invite him or her to confess and to express profound regret. Regardless of what they post next, it will be deleted, and the suit confiscated again. The suit will then post a thread in which a form letter is read out, expressing profound regret, confessing to a variety of crimes and begging for the court to end its compulsion to commit thought crime (caps) on Barbelith, which request will then be granted by the leniency of the Barbelith Censor.

How's that sound as a thought starter? I'm not sure whether a single focus (viz, me) will be more or less satisfying than a sinister and faceless cabal would be more satisfyingly totalitarian, so obviously we can talk about that...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
15:40 / 06.06.06
Sounds great. But, no offence, it should be Denfeld. Who but the King should wield this hitherto imaginary power?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:48 / 06.06.06
Could you start by censoring me? Recently I have been asking people questions about their posts, rather than stating flat out that I think they are wrong-headed and ill-informed. I have it on good authority that this is aggressive and bullying behaviour. Please delete all my posts ever, even the Von Mises ones.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:52 / 06.06.06
Sounds great. But, no offence, it should be Denfeld. Who but the King should wield this hitherto imaginary power?

I thought about that, definitely, but I think it makes more sense if the person being censored can feel that there is a benign but ineffectual leader who must have their attention drawn to the horrible abuses happpening in his name, at which point they will sort everything out. I've pencilled Denfeld in for that.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
17:45 / 06.06.06
Haus : I'm not sure whether a single focus (viz, me) will be more or less satisfying than a sinister and faceless cabal would be more satisfyingly totalitarian, so obviously we can talk about that...

The best way I see this happening is the sinister and faceless cabal will choose perfectly innocent posts at random and reply to them with the words "I'm not sure you want to be saying that, mate." Or something like that, it could be personalised to the cabal member if they fancy. If the replies to this are suitably paranoid and unhappy, the s. and f. c. can easily goad that poster into saying something Haus can deal with in the manner described above. That should create the right atmosphere.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
18:15 / 06.06.06
I'll only join the cabal if we can play good cop, bad cop. Otherwise it's just not worth it.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
18:32 / 06.06.06
I don't know Anna, passive cop/agressive cop can be pretty good too.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:05 / 06.06.06
I'll only join if we can play juxtaposed cops.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:13 / 06.06.06
I think we should just have a List.

And when people complain about c*ns*rsh*p, we just tell them "okay, mate, you're on The List".

Hey, it worked in Shadows and Fog, okay?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
00:55 / 07.06.06
What we need are a few sullen perrenial Victims of Censorship, say two or three, who will PM the censee with messages of support and offers to join a secret club with a special name made of letters. This will be read by all concerned as a popular uprising, despite the fact that there's only four of them.
 
 
unbecoming
08:13 / 07.06.06
of course the best way to mask the existence of such a secret cabal would be to start a joke thread making light of the notion.

*bullet enters brain*
 
 
Evil Scientist
08:18 / 07.06.06
Hey! The faceless, poorly-defined Barbelite Cabal has always worked well in the past. I see no reason to change that.

Isn't this just political correctness gone mad (or is that another thread)?
 
 
Disco is My Class War
11:21 / 07.06.06
You might want to think about what you just said.
 
 
Tom Coates
13:48 / 07.06.06
I'm well in favour of a bit of dirty jack-boot action, if the rest of the board feels like they need a spanking. I don't see why Haus should have all the leather porn fun.
 
 
Evil Scientist
14:00 / 07.06.06
Censor him Tom! Censor him good!

You know you want to.
 
 
Smoothly
14:04 / 07.06.06
I feel strongly opposed to this idea.
There’s no point explaining why since all the cool kids have decided that it’s a good idea and I’d just get dogpiled. I will continue to restrict my thoughts on this and related matters to my friends-only livejournal.
 
 
alas
14:16 / 07.06.06
Can we play sadist cop & masochist cop? Or, maybe Sonny cop & Cher cop?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
14:37 / 07.06.06
I think what we really need is a Grant Morrison Disappointment-O-Meter down the right-hand side of the page. People could click on it to raise the level and thus demonstrate visually exactly how gutted GM would be with the way they'd been treated.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
15:19 / 07.06.06
Would the censorship police get special badges? Because I would like a special badge.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:16 / 07.06.06
Or special badgers. I'd do a lot for a special badger. Up to and including book-burning JUST LIKE TEH NAZIS!!!111!!1!
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
16:48 / 07.06.06
I nominate Stoatie for Stoatenfuhrer in charge of burning light to posts which JUST DON'T GET IT. He is teh dog-loving PC Nazi, after all; and Sheena can be his sinister hellhound of the Censored Enlightened Ones who just wanna Fuck Shit Up and Stick It To Teh Man for the sake of Free Speach.

He's got big (fake) leather boots too.
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
16:56 / 07.06.06
If we're getting special badgers, I demand they be of the "honey" variety.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
17:42 / 07.06.06
In retrospect I TOTALLY regret my light hearted posts in this thread. Policy just isn't the place for these kinds of suggestions. HOW DARE Haus suggest that we give him these powers. We should DELETE and LOCK this thread and kick the trumped up troll OFF the board.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:06 / 07.06.06
Facist.
 
 
matthew.
19:38 / 07.06.06
[ 07-06-2006: Message deleted by: Haus ]
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
20:26 / 07.06.06
I'm going to whip you to within an inch of your life. And then I'm going to have you.
 
 
■
21:23 / 07.06.06
Facists. You're all hyperbolic facists.
 
 
Quantum
09:53 / 08.06.06
Quis Custodiet Ipos Custodes? Oh, Tom, that's who. This is just another Liberal conspiracy, how tiresome- I can get you a great bulk discount on black headbags though Haus, just let me know when.
 
 
Ticker
14:38 / 08.06.06
ooh if the SBR forum comes to be, can we have a BDSM-esque dungeon thread for folks that want to be either the Top or bottom of a putdown exchange?
(..or the ever feared dog-pile?)

YOU THERE!! REPORT TO THE INQUISITION'S CHAMBER AT ONCE!!!

..AND DON'T FORGET TO WEAR THE HAT O'SHAME!!!!
 
 
Hydra vs Leviathan
16:45 / 08.06.06
Barbelith Dominant/Submissive Moderation?
 
 
Ticker
19:00 / 08.06.06
Natty, that's terribly perfect.
There ought to be t-shirts too.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:56 / 08.06.06
Can't we just add a bit to the application info, such as: "I am planning to fulfill the role of the Trickster or Court Jester, challenging your prejudices with my edgy iconoclasm and subversive genius Y/N[_]"? It would save an awful lot of trouble in the long run.
 
 
diz
10:30 / 09.06.06
I will contribute to this exercise by being the guilty liberal with pangs of conscience. I will first appease the Censor or Censoring Cabal by pointing out how the person being censored is foolish, out of step with the Barbelith mainstream, and probably a sexual deviant. I will then suggest that ze should be allowed to continue without being censored despite these obvious faults because we are Better Than That as a society, though I will hasten to distance myself from any and all of their actual positions.

I feel that I am well-suited to this role because my posting schedule is erratic. Sometimes I post a lot, sometimes I go for months without saying a word. I frequently lose interest in even the most heated of debates, even when those debates were caused by something I posted. This will contribute to feelings of isolation and abandonment on the part of the censored, who can feel righteously outraged at my half-assed attempts at choosing moral causes of convenience, insofar as they don't interfere with my sellout conformist bourgeois lifestyle. A little self-righteous resentment seems to go a long way.
 
  
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