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Also, if we're having trouble defining "snark" then shades of "abhorrent" may also be somewhat moot.
True, true. OK - deep breath, positive intent. DM sees a thread asking for information on heterosexuality. He sees this as an opportunity to give something back to Barbelith by sharing his experience and conclusions drawn from being a heterosexual man, just as he has learned from Barbelith about other people's sexuality.
Unfortunately, Dead Megatron's relationship to heterosexuality is not just unexamined, but is also a bit fucked up. This, I think, is getting lost a bit. People are telling him that the generalisation is unpleasant, and it is being read as "it is unreasonable to make the generalisation that all women who do not enjoy giving (or receiving) oral sex are sexually repressed, just because in my experience the women who don't want to give oral sex don't seem to enjoy sex" rather "it is unreasonable to make the generalisation that women who do not want specifically to give me oral sex, and do not seem to enjoy sex with me, are sexually repressed". Perhaps, DM, the universal theme here between not wanting to give you oral pleasure and not appearing to enjoy sex with you is not sexual repression, but you. Perhaps they are not enjoying the sex because you are doing it. Perhaps, in fact, they do not dislike oral sex in general, but simply do not want to give oral sex to you.
This was very politely proposed in a variant by Mordant Carnival:
Uh, kind of what Ill said. Not saying you're doing this, Megsy, but I do tend to find that "sexually repressed" is often code for "won't do what I want."
Receiving the answer:
Mordant, you are also right, this does happen a lot. But, honestly, I don't do it. In fact, I like to believe that, during sex, I defer to my partner's desires.
That is, unless those desires are either:
a) Not to have to give oral sex under threat of being condemned as "sexually repressed", even after having consented to joyless no-longer-in-the-mood coition to make up for this "inadequacy".
b) Not to have to submit to receiving oral sex under threat of having their sexy sex colleague storm off in a cunnilinghuff.
Leaving aside the definitions of both "snark" and "abhorrent", I see a problem with a thread that is organised in such a way that people are not allowed to say "dude, that's fucked up" when it is necessary. I don't see that as necessarily "snark", and I can't really condemn Illmatic (positive intent: state immediately and strongly that this approach to female sexuality on Barbelith was not going to go unchallenged) too strongly for responding as he did. |
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