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My Best Mate's Uncle Fucked my Mother - I Need a Comeback.

Jawsus-son Starship

22:04 / 29.03.06

So my best mate' uncle was my mother's boyfriend when she was sixteen, and now he won't stop using it in conversations as the ultimate comeback. Now it doesn't bother me who fucked my mother, but I can't give him any abuse because he brings this out a comeback and it is really fucking me off.

Need a good comeback. Something that will silence him like boom.

22:15 / 29.03.06

A punch square on the jaw should do nicely.

22:42 / 29.03.06

Just call him "Dad."

23:03 / 29.03.06

Indeed. Why are you hanging about with your friend's uncle in the first place? He's buying you drinks now, I guess, but there's always a price tag...

23:39 / 29.03.06

"If he was so good, why did she stop fucking him?"

or...

"Every woman regrets the assholes they fell for when they were young"*

*not necessarily true, but true enough for a comeback anyway.

01:56 / 30.03.06

DM, a comeback that essentially says, "The jokes on you, mate! Your uncle didn't bang my mother nearly well enough!" is a terrible retort.

There's really nothing you can do, buddy. The "your-mom-got-fucked" insult is about the deadliest there is. So deadly, in fact, that I'm surprised your friend has the balls to use it. I don't know anyone that could get away with such a thing.

05:03 / 30.03.06

What's the problem with this? The idea that one's mother was sexually active prior to meeting one's father? Presumably she and the uncle in question had mutually consenting sex as opposed to her being passively "fucked".

Newsflash: one's mother has a sexuality too.

05:16 / 30.03.06

Newsflash: one's mother has a sexuality too.

But can ones father truly own ones mother when she has been with another?

Of course not!

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

05:17 / 30.03.06

"Well, at least Mummy moved on with her life, as opposed to using her nephew as a sort of passive-aggressive tool of retributation for the broken heart that resulted from her kicking him to the curb."

Disco is My Class War

05:19 / 30.03.06

It can't really sink lower than this, can it?

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

05:25 / 30.03.06

It wasn't very high up there to begin with. How's Disco this evening?

05:49 / 30.03.06

Standards are slipping.

05:50 / 30.03.06

Talk it through with your mother. And if she doesn't treat this as seriously as you think she should, say to her:

"Shut your fucking face, uncle-fucker".

Regrettable Juvenilia

06:03 / 30.03.06

Something that will silence him like boom.

Punch yourself in the face in front of him.

I understand, from viewing the movie "Fight Club", that this has been known to "mess" with people's "minds".

Less searchable M0rd4nt

06:51 / 30.03.06

Sorry, but what the fuck?

miss wonderstarr

06:56 / 30.03.06

I can't help thinking this kind of post, and the thread it hopes to invite, belong on a different board entirely. I don't know, Nuts or Men's Health perhaps.

06:56 / 30.03.06

Flyboy, "Fight Club" is soooooo old! Get with it, grand-daddio, etc

Math, you’ll probably get better comebacks by asking this question on a board with loads of other teenagers on it. Why, we’re all doddering old coots around here, we just can’t keep up with your cuh-razy, shit-for-brains humour! Be off with you, you young scamp! And don’t come back.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

07:26 / 30.03.06

Something that will silence him like boom.

Start crying. Softly. Shake your shoulders a bit, sniffle and let a couple sobs out.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:26 / 30.03.06

"Your attitudes to female sxuality are woefully outdated and prudish" is a great comeback. To anything, really.

Jawsus-son Starship

07:47 / 30.03.06

Carnival - I wish that one would wash with him, but he's a pig who needs to be brought down a peg or two. This is the guy who once told me, during a crisis of faith in my part, when I was feeling stranded and unsure where m life was going, that "It doesn't matter what I do, I'll probably be the best at it."

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:56 / 30.03.06

Ah. A steaming great prat, in other words.

08:09 / 30.03.06

"It doesn't matter what I do, I'll probably be the best at it."

Mr Carlsberg I presume?

Not in the Face

08:12 / 30.03.06

If the two of you find the subject of your parents' sexual relationships a source of one-up manship then surely the only thing to do is to sleep with his mum, thereby going one better?

According to certain literature I have read for the Discerning Gentleman with Time on His Hands, it simply involves raising the issue with her, she will undoubtedly be thinking the same thing, or at least act out of sympathy for your plight.

And if he raises any complaints then he really has only himself to blame. Alternatively you could try it with your best mate's uncle if thats what swings your respective boats.

You might want to consider making it clear to him that his behaviour is causing you to review whether you are in fact friends and however much he may find it amusing it really is time to shut up or fuck off

08:15 / 30.03.06

While it's not a thread I would necessarily think of responding to, I don't see that this sort of thing has no place here in Conversation. I have seen stuff far more infantile here in the past and it has elicited wonderful (and extremely puerile) responses from even some of Barbelith's hard-hitting heavyweights. I don't come to Barbelith much any more because, quite frankly, it seems to have lost its sense of fun. This stuff is hardly threatening.

I am now guilty of doing what I find most irritating about this place - I'm not discussing the subject but the discussion itself. Ballsaching. Time for something better.