By Ben Fox
The Bishop was waiting for us when we came into the lobby of our dorm.
“Hi! And welcome to Snow College, are you LDS?" He asked Sean, who seemed to jump at his surprise and the abruptness of the question.
Sean looked to me for some explanation as to what was going on.
The room was still for a moment, Sean stood facing me until I gave him a little shrug. The bishop politely cleared his throat,
“Are you LDS?” the man asked again.
After another moments hesitation Sean answered, “No.”
The bishop looked a bit surprised and puffed out his chest then asked, “Well, why not?”
Looking back I believe that the bishop was trying to make light of the situation, but Sean did not seem to find it amusing.
“I am the new Bishop of the Snow College 7th student ward. I am just here to meet the incoming students.” He flashed a big smile. “These men,” He swung his arms in a motion towards the two men behind him. “Are my counselors.”
“Brother Johnson would be happy to take down your information, and Brother Bingham has an extra Book of Mormon, you may have heard of our book? its another testament of Jesus Christ.”
Sean literally squirmed out of the bishop’s grip.
“Actually,” he said, “I am Islamic,” he lied, “Long live Allah.”
And then to me, “sorry Ben, I have to get out of here.” He took another look at the line of men, shook his head and then bolted down the stairs to his room.
“Well he was rude.” The bishop commented to his suited friends before turning to talk with me.
“Well anyway, welcome to Snow College, are you LDS?” he asked.
My stomach turned, I felt sick, I looked into his face. He was old, and wore a flashy red tie. He had a very noticeable hair peace, and his breathe was a bit stale. I was offended by the abruptness of his question. To be honest, I was a convert to the LDS church but rather inactive.
I was the RA (dorm boss) and our building was state property, and in training I was told that religious proselytizing of any kind was strictly against the rules in the dorms. Knowing all this, I opened my mouth and I stalled.
“I will be right back; I need to take care of something.” I lied and ran after Sean down the stairs. I didn’t stop to listen to see if the Bishop thought that I was rude too.
Sean was waiting for me.
“What the hell was that?!” He asked.
“I don’t know, but don’t worry about it,” I was talking and walking briskly down the hallway forcing Sean to take really big steps to keep up with me. He raised a cynical eyebrow for a response. “Just don’t go up there for the next little bit.” I offered.
“No way, that’s bullshit, I live here! Why should I have to be afraid to go upstairs?”
Jimmy stuck his head out of his door,
“Are you guys talking about that bishop?”
“Yeah,” Sean said shoulders squared like he does when he gets really upset. I’ve only seen him square his shoulders like that twice before, and both times ended up with me pulling him off some poor un-expecting agitator.
“That guys a dick!” Jimmy fully entered the hall and joined our talk, he had a story nearly the same as Sean’s. The bishop put his arm around him as well, and invited him to join the LDS church. Jimmy was equally offended.
“Its not so much that he asked us to join his church, its that they are in my home. This is such bullshit! Its not like we have somewhere else to go. And he just expects us to be all right with it.”
Sean turned to me, “Ben you are the RA, can they do this?”
“Well…” I didn’t want to tell him that the rules were very clear that he was not.
“Technically, no. But remember where we are.” There was a round of mutterings from the guys, but they agreed that nothing could be done. And we all went to our rooms, I heard both doors slam.
I shut my door quickly behind me, glad to be out of the view of anyone that may need something from me or want my attention. I flopped down heavily on my bed and flipped on the stereo. Relaxation was a near threat to my busy schedule, but I began to think back to my walk acrossed campus earlier that day. I counted six advertisements for the LDS church and their activities in the walk from my dorm room to my first class! My mind was racing through all sorts of youthful outrages but I was soon saved by a loud rapping at the door.
Sean and Jimmy were back, and this time with three more residents. All of them complaining about the Bishop and his imposing questions, and especially his refusal to take no for an answer.
I looked at this rag-tag bunch and smiled. Jimmy with his gold cross, hanging on his neck like a big warning sign to young Latter Day Saint girls, I can hear their parents, “Now jenny, stay away from Catholics, there church is the mother of abomination.”
I hated being put in this situation.
“What do you guys want me to do about it?” I asked crossly. The question summoned a round of shrugs. Followed by a few shaking heads and a number of muttered “this is bullshits” As they trudged back to their rooms.
Seeing the boys walk down the hall from my room, heads hung low, made me think. Boys sentenced to persecution because I was too afraid to take a stand. Watching those boys slink down the hallway, beaten, prisoners all resigned to their fate. My heart lifted into my chest. Something stilled within me, and I scooped up what resolve I had hiding in my gut, and I climbed the stairs to talk with the bishop.
I thought of the two LDS churches, on either side of the campus. I remembered college professors asking all the members of the LDS faith to raise their hands (so they could ask the group to ‘verify a point’ they were making). Just that day a teacher had asked if there were any “non-members” in the room, and after no one answered he said, “Good, then I can talk about church history.”
My blood started to boil as I moved my self towards the lobby of the dorm.
“I will be civil,” I told myself. I will ask the bishop if he will refrain from inquiring the religious status of each of the residents of the hall as they came into the dorm. I will stop there, I told myself. I keep my voice level, I will smile. He will smile and apologize, “It wont be any big deal.” I said aloud as I rounded the corner.
There he was. The bishop. He had his counselors with him still, but now there was a large group of the hall residents chatting and laughing with the men. I flinched for a minute, and turned to walk back down the stairs when I heard the door open immediately followed by a “Hi! Welcome to Snow College! Are you LDS?” I stopped dead. His question hit me like a truck. I took a few steps forward, but thank my self-control, for I knew my rage was too new to contain, so I turned back to the stairs to cool off.
Now I realize that most students in the dorm were eager to meet the bishop and his helpers, and were gathered around the lobby (that was now the headquarters for recruitment and paperwork central for the bishop). There was high energy and excitement in the room. All new students, a new bishop, and new college ward and everyone was getting to know everyone else.
But, at the same time the LDS students got a glimpse, on the first day, of who the “non-members” were. The rest of the students, any students in Nuttall Hall who answered “no” to the question of “Are you LDS?” were instantly (but I will say honestly) unintentionally persecuted against.
Frustration flowed through me, followed by a few sacred minutes to cool down. But as I stood, I thought of his smug simpleton belief that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing, OUTRAGE. I couldn’t believe my luck, I was about to make a stand against the inappropriate actions of a man that seemed to be unquestioningly followed by the residents of my dorm because of his religious status.
“Breathe.” I told myself before climbing the stairs for a second time.
I rounded the corner to see him still surrounded by counselors and parishioners.
He said something to the crowd, they went quiet.
“Sir,” I made eye contact with the Bishop. “Could I speak with you for a minute?” I motioned to door with my hand.
He took his time before responding, and it seemed to me that he looked around the crowd as he responded, “Whatever you need to say you can say it here, I don’t mind if my friends hear.” He smiled.
“Are you sure?” I asked, not wanting to draw this thing out any longer than I needed to.
“Yes, of course. What is it that you need Brother Fox?”
I cringed. He already knew my name, I wondered what else he had found out about the runaway Mormon Resident Assistant of Nuttall Hall…
“I need to ask you to stop asking students their religious affiliation.” I said it, and there was no going back.
A hush fell over the crowded room, and I could feel the eyes of confused and offended people boring into me.
“Well.” He started, making another look around the room, “I don’t see any harm in asking what someone believes. No one should be ashamed to claim their faith.”
He looked hard into my eyes daring me to respond.
“You are LDS aren’t you?” he asked.
“You dirty son of a bitch.” I shouted loudly to myself (inside my head).
It was my turn to take a look around room full of wide eyed faces.
“My religious views don’t come into play in this situation sir.” I said.
“Of course they do.” He said, smiling wide. “Religion comes into play all the time. Some people would rather die than deny Christ.”
“Sir, I am going to have to ask you again, please do not ask anyone about their religious affiliation while you are here in this dorm.”
A small gasp rose out of one of the girls. I looked just in time to see that her jaw had dropped wide open, and when she saw me turn she quickly raised her hand to cover it.
“And I,” he said loudly in response, “Am going to ask you for the third time today, are you LDS or not?”
He had done it. I had just been alienated. I could feel it. My heart told me that I was dead to these people. I looked to every pair of eyes; I kept thinking that someone might come to my aid. I looked pleading for help. I saw a variety of reaction in the faces surrounding me, some were filled with shock, some anger, a few with fear, but not one held any sympathy for my plight, that I could see.
“Sir, this is a state owned building. It says in our policy book that no proselytizing of any kind will be allowed in the dorm, and I have had five complaints.” Some people don’t believe in auras or energy, and I don’t usually think about it much, but at that moment I had 20 angry Mormons seething their feelings in my direction and I could feel it.
“I am just doing the lord’s work.” He said quietly. Silence ate at the room for a moment.
“I am just doing the LORD WORK.” He said again this time with a powerful finish.
The crowd began to mutter. The bishop turned to the crowd and lifted his arms in defeat.
“Your RA is kicking me out!” he exclaimed.
“NO! I am not kicking you out.” I was desperate! I did not want this to end this way! Kicking him out was the furthest thing from my mind.
“Please, I would love for you to stay. The majority of students want you here. I just need to protect the rights of the few that don’t want to have to talk with you as they come in and out of the building.” Yeah, that sounded good, I thought, he can’t throw that back at me.
I felt the tension of the room go down a bit, I felt better as I looked to the faces of my residents, until my gaze came back to the bishop. His face had flushed red.
“You think that these children need protection from their religious advisor?!” his body shook as he asked this not of me, but of the crowd. Instant reaction from the students,
“No Bishop! We love you,” one girl actually took his hand, “I trust you. Don’t worry what anyone else says.”
The glares were back.
“Sir,” I paused, “everybody, I am sorry to have caused so much heart ache. I don’t have anything thing else to say.” I huffed and puffed, and I tucked my tail and pushed my way through the crowd that had almost doubled in the time that I had been talking with the bishop.
I sat in my room with my eyes shut tightly. Pink Floyd’s The Wall playing loudly. Why did I come here? I had heard all the rumors about Utah, but I had never imagined…
I sat holding my head in my hands. Thoughts and frustrations washed over me. The bishops words thrumming through my mind.
“Wait,...” I said aloud to the empty room, why did I let this guy get me so worked up? I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I don’t really think that I did anything to feel bad about, but for my own well being, I needed to apologize. Not for what I did, but for getting angry after his words.
More than an hour had passed, and I wasn’t even sure that he would still be up in the lobby. A number of residents stared at me in disbelief as I walked through the parting crowd. I felt like I was a man on his way to execution, and I think that disgust was in at least a few eyes, no one spoke to me.
Jimmy caught my arm as I reached the stairs.
“God DAMN!” He said. “I heard what you did! The Mormons are pissed!”
“Yeah?” I asked, then walked up the stairs as I shook my head.
I was hoping he had gone. But I had already established that lady luck was not with me today. He looked up from a conversation, he physically started when he saw me, but a calm coolness quickly took over his features.
“Ah Ben Fox, there you are. I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t been asking anyone about their religious affiliation.”
“Thanks.” I said, and was ready to apologize, “Sir-“ I managed before he cut me off.
“And I haven’t asked anyone for their political views or even their favorite color!”
My heart dropped and a sadness came over me.
“Sir,…Bishop, don’t do this.”
“Do what? Be honest?” a cold smile wrapped his face like a badge of courage.
I breathed deeply, slowly, thinking that he might say more. But when he didn’t I asked with all the sincerity that I could manage,
“Does this mean that I am not welcome at church?”
This at least caused a shock in his parishioners, and even his counselors flinched at his response.
“That’s between you and god.” He said callously.
And at that I turned without another word or thought and marched down to my room, beaten, feeling like a prisoner. I had truly once and for all lost my faith. |
