Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Underground > Temple >

Intensity

15:07 / 09.03.06

is it just me or are many others experiencing an unusual amount of stress and chaos in their lives right now? Feel free to opine on astrological indicators, timewave theory, etc...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

15:19 / 09.03.06

Funnily enough, yeah, since you ask.

15:25 / 09.03.06

I don't really know. I mean, there's a lot going on, a lot of change... but I seem to have found a lovely little oasis of calm in the middle of it all for the time being. This may change given seconds though.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

15:30 / 09.03.06

Yes, but I find January / February is always like this, then the year sort of begins to calm down.

I'm definitely in the midst of some major soul searching.

Unconditional Love

15:33 / 09.03.06

I have managed to keep a bubble of calm going, but i know if i just go to the edge and peak out a little i can hear and see all that chaos and confusion, it broke in this morning and wanted to bitch about this and that, i basically told it too fuck off and surprizingly it did.

I remember a time when i thrived on that chaos, perhaps its going to be useful to remember those skills. But at the mo things are calm.

15:50 / 09.03.06

Hasn't it been like that for the last 3-5 years?

16:11 / 09.03.06

LVX, maybe it's just your time zone? Things seem pretty calm with me. I've actually been sending out résumés and getting work out there in an attempt to stir some stuff up, but nada thus far. (Though, it's not like my home city is a hotbed of creative activity.)

Since December, it seems that I've actually been spending a lot of time — a LOT of time — exploring new concepts to extrapolate on my understandings of the esoteric. All this introspection and new neural pathways of interpreting abstract and symbolic concepts has to be leading up to something, right…

16:15 / 09.03.06

Hasn't it been like that for the last 3-5 years?

Yup. That might be one of the reasons why this is barely registering as a spike above a pretty bizarre median.

rising and revolving

16:17 / 09.03.06

Ramping up here.

You'll note I've been absent for a while (3-4 months?) but lurking. I've come back because of the swelling surges, at least partially.

16:30 / 09.03.06

It's been stressful since around 2000 as far as I'm concerned. The world instability seems to have a trickle down (or trickle around) effect. Well, i live in the United States though, it's always been chaotic here, has it not ?

16:44 / 09.03.06

Indeed, I've been feelin' the change lately, what with breaking the old bad patterns and trying to build healthy new ones so new bad ones don't form in the void like they did last time.

Oddly, I've been hearing from a number of people of my acquaintance that there's a current of change rippling through life right now. I can't really claim too much for it -- I'm re-reading Prometheus Rising right now and noticing just how much RAW's "Everything will be perfect by 2005!" naivity or whatever you call it is annoying me -- but there's something running deep underneath.

17:11 / 09.03.06

Hasn't it been like that for the last 3-5 years?

Yup. That might be one of the reasons why this is barely registering as a spike above a pretty bizarre median.

I second that. But, then again, I live in Brazil. This place is chaotic by default.

17:12 / 09.03.06

Yes.

I've come back because of the swelling surges, at least partially.

Funny, I'm having the opposite reaction. I had just decided to take a breather from Barbelith to deal with a bunch of other stuff.

Then, of course, this came up, and LVX posted something in BIAS's thread about my ficsuit namesake on the same day that I changed my appellation to "the Terrible".

I don't know what the hell is going on, but frankly it kinda scares me. I get the impression that there is a lot of energy building up in the system, as lame and vague and cliche as that sounds. Makes me twitchy.

17:14 / 09.03.06

I heard from a friend who went to a sensitive/astrologer that things started to ramp up last september and will continue until this september. Basically, I'm looking for some understanding in the midst of a major personal crisis. My marriage is very very close to ending. This is a relationship that was attended by profound mythic circumstances over the past 10 years that we've been together. Yet a lot of it was negative and traumatic, almost like we've been conduits for greater forces now too wild to be contained by our union. I can't help think that a lot this is related to an increaesed level of human awareness/human sensitivity, like we're all wiring our heads together so fast not realizing we're wiring our hearts together as well. It's hard not to acknowledge global chaos & suffering... I'm sure we're all absorbing it on some level and it influences our heads and haerts mightily. I suspect this is part of what's tearing my lo0ve apart...

17:31 / 09.03.06

It's possibly just the time of year. I've been expecting things to start having more chaos added, especially with me trying to follow the Eastern Elemental system this time around. If you're having problems with creative stuff, or if some of your stress is linked to creative work, then that would correspond with your Wood element being out of balance.

"Wood is the most human of the elements. It is the element of spring; the creative urge to achieve - which can turn to anger when frustrated. It is associated with the capacity to look forward, plan and make decisions."

Five Elements

If this is the case, then you could either work with the element itself, or you could be lacking Water energy, that feeds the Wood element. Or in a simpler way, maybe you need to be relaxing/meditating more to get things in balance. Personally, I've been waiting for things to get a little more chaotic for a while, so I can start channeling some of the energy into stuff I need to be doing. Here's hoping that things settle down for you anyway, or that you can find a way to use the chaotic energy to your advantage.

17:36 / 09.03.06

Ack, sorry LVX, I didn't see your last post before I made mine. That sounds like pretty major stuff. I hope you can both find ways of getting through the problems you're both having anyway.

21:18 / 09.03.06

Things have been fucking mental for me this week. Don't feel comfortable posting about it yet. Maybe I will. Death and destruction everywhere. I'm cool BTW, not directly in the firing line, but things are going off all around me.

02:52 / 10.03.06

I have been feeling a build up of anticipation for what I do not know. I also have experienced the sense that time is collapsing. Every one I know is super, super busy all the time it's like there just is not enough hours in the day anymore. I also am experiencing an increase in synchronicity. I believe we are moving into uncharted territory.

03:16 / 10.03.06

I've had lot's of synchronicities for the last couple of months.

And thanks Jack. Sometimes life teaches in tough ways. The initiations never end.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

03:30 / 10.03.06

Jesus, LVX. Good to know I'm not the only one feeling things swirling in weird ways. Not out of control, I really but the clamp down on it last week and got my life in straight form and order, but this week's just felt...wonky. Really weird and really vivid dreams for three nights straight, which isn't very usual for me.

I've been having this really weird feeling since Monday.

06:34 / 10.03.06

Monday was my twenty-eighth dude.

10:45 / 10.03.06

Feverstorm and chaos here too.

LVX, your post really resonated with me and was beautifully expressed. This thread is timely indeed.

10:49 / 10.03.06

I'd add I expect things to calm the fuck down after this week. Only two hours of work left and I can go and sleep. I wouldn't attribute to anything cosmic either. Just ... not the best week.

LVX, my fullest sympathies to you about your marriage. I hope things resolve themselves in the way that's best for you and your partner.

I also have experienced the sense that time is collapsing. ... I also am experiencing an increase in synchronicity.

Just stop putting sugar in your cofee and it'll be okay.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:30 / 10.03.06

Oh, blimey, LVX, that sounds horrible. I hope you can resolve your problems.

15:37 / 10.03.06

You have my sympathies, LVX. I hope it works out for the best.

I guess I'm in the minority on this one. This thread started on the exact day the chaos in my life subsided. It very nearly put me over the edge, but I rode it out with a little help from my friends ;-). Looking back, I realize I've been rewarded for my troubles in so many wonderful ways, and I feel like I'm better prepared for the next time the cycle starts. So to everyone who's center ain't holding so well these days: Stay strong. It will get better. And I'll try to help you if I can.

18:39 / 10.03.06

Not sure if we all feel this way out of the power of suggestion but I'm going to jump in with a resounding "yes".
Id recently discovered that I can get by on much less sleep now than five years ago, now that school assignments are starting to collide. It's been a particularly bad week. I had a shouting fit of temper this morning which I almost never do, as several malevolent trends came together at a very bad time.

I also touched on something very interesting and profound during a brief meditative break from it all today. A sense that I could reach out and touch...limitless possibilities. So I tried. And it bit my hand. So I stopped. I don't usually work with chaos or know much about it so I don't know if that's relevant

22:02 / 10.03.06

Thanks to all for your support and well-wishings. I've been amazed at how many people have really come to bat for me on this. The support is overwhelming (in a good way).

I think our types of people (if I can make such a broad classification) have had experiences that open us up to the greater energies of life. We are sensitives. And I think that while the web is wiring our heads together it's also wiring our hearts together. It's far more difficult for suffering to hide from the global eye(I). I think everyone is being slowly opened up to the heart of humanity, and the shock of it is sending waves of chaos through the whole system.

On the personal note, things are reaching a state of clarity. And it happened very suddenly for me. I'm embracing my individuality, assuming things are over while working with my wife to find a path for us to heal. Love and unattachment. Very tricky! We love each other dearly and things have just gotten very out of hand. So my heart is hopeful but my head is preparing to turn back from "us" to "me". It may be that this whole process will make us stronger as a couple. I think it's certainly making me stronger as an individual.

Charlie's Horse

22:39 / 11.03.06

I think it's certainly making me stronger as an individual.

The thing that burns also tempers, cliche though that may be. Good luck and God's blessings, LVX. Hope your eyes can keep weathering the storm and seeing the beauty in it all.

Timely topic indeed. Not that I was ever terribly prolific at posting, this being the only part of Barbelith I was initially interested in, and I've been very irregular in the last few years - busy putting things to practice. Lately I noticed that my passion for 'teh magick' had wained - I was still going with some meditative techniques, but that was about it. The spark dimmed. At the same time, I got really interested in finding a way to chat with my local city through street art. Made something beautiful, allegedly put it up. Found turning grey wall to art an alchemical process. Exciting as hell, too. Makes one feel less alone.

Got caught, released, warrant issued, turned myself in, made bail, awaiting court hearing. Can't talk that particular way anymore to the concrete and glass. "I was expressing with my full capabilities. Now I'm living in correctional facilities." Felt like I was reborn into blue skies and freedom when I got out. This is also the semester I was kicked out of school, got back in, found out my Mom is somewhat ill. And it's my last semester of school and I have no hard plans for next year.

Chaos. On the plus side, I've been slowly drawing myself back to magic. Or magic's been slowly pulling me back towards itself. It's like what Benecio del Toro's character said in Sin City about smoking. "You never really quit."

Magician's a magician when the chips are down. But now I feel like I'm on the way up. Weathered a midnight snack at the Diner of the Soul's Dark Night. Going somewhere grand for breakfast. Been looking into a performance of that 1950s red Cadillac of magical operations. Ye Olde Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. Seems like someone I should learn of and listen to.

18:52 / 12.03.06

My life's been VERY chaotic for the last 6 months, I would say. Troubles with my wife just like you, now worked out for the better it seems, troubles at work, not yet resolved, money problems, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
But it seems to me it has been building up since early 2001, when everything went wrong in my life. I mean, very wrong. The year ended with 9/11 and, a few weeks later, the death of my brother.
Oddly enough, chaos entered my life when I started to get interested in magick. I thought it was a kind of warning, and stoped doing anything related to magick. I started again... six month ago ...
It's kind of scary, but I don't know what to really think of it all...