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"Ugh, get away from me" -> Understanding the Art of Pick-Up Lines.

16:14 / 08.03.06

I had this conversation in the real world the other day about pick-up lines. One of my rather good-looking male friends had a few complex pick-up lines that worked. They were cheesy and rather annoying (one involved a rather complex use of the Coldplay DVD; "Chicks are suckers for Coldplay")

I was under the impression that when a person responds to a pick-up line, ze is responding to the speaker, not to the content of their line. In other words, once the target responds to the line, the picker-upper has the target in his nefarious clutches.

I don't use pick-up lines, because they don't really work for me. I'm not the world's best looking fellow, so I must use a strategic combo of charm and smarts. Ah, who am I kidding? I just don't "pick" people up. I think it's somewhat childish, considering the content of some pick-up lines I have heard. I'd rather just get to know the person and maybe have a relationship (sexual or not), instead of merely fucking them and asking them to leave. But, to each hir own...

Without much further ado, here are some hilarious pick-up lines that can't possibly work. Feel free to share your experiences of pick-ups, on the giving or receiving end....

The word of the the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word.

If you were a burger at McDonalds, you would be called McGorgeous!

Do you like raisins? [What?] Nevermind, let's go fuck.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

There are others, but this are painful enough...
And here is a nice resource for pick-up lines.

Jawsus-son Starship

16:28 / 08.03.06

The best pick up line I have ever heard was from the actor who played Lewis in Britsh Shit Soap Opera hollyoaks which went;

Pinch me, I'm real.

He's not in it anymore, surprisingly.

All Acting Regiment

17:06 / 08.03.06

Pickup lines are, in a word, bullshit. They only work once, at the moment of coinage, and stop working once they become a pickup line (at the moment of cornage). Even when they do work, they do not cause instant attraction, rather they initiate a consensual dialogue.

When someone uses a known pickup line, the implication is that the speaker has mastered some form of root command that will trigger the eroto/sexual circuit of the recipient's brain and thus cause them to involuntarily fall for the smithe-smirked, peckerwood Adonis before them. This is quite obviously an insult to anyone.

Rather than attempting to "cop off" (a myth), try and build friendly consensual relationships. It works better.

17:14 / 08.03.06

The worst but perhaps funniest example I've ever heard:
"Do you come here often?", accompanied by a suggestive wink, uttered to a friend last year at a sexual health clinic.

The Prince of All Lies

17:16 / 08.03.06

I have never used a pick-up line..In fact, I suck at talking to girls in bars and the like. Something to do with my hatred of inane conversation combined with the loudness of music in those places..
Anyway, why don't we start suggesting ways to start a conversation in those kinds of situations instead of pick-up lines? Since IMHO the hard part is to break the ice. If we were all bloody Adonis' and Aphrodite's who can bark at someone and get them all moist, we wouldn't be in this thread, right? RIGHT?

17:24 / 08.03.06

Pick-up lines usually only work if: a) you are so alienated fromr eality you actually think you're the best-looking, most-charming, sexiest individual in the room, and b) the person you're talking to are either so stupid or so drunk they actually believe in you.

But, if you insist in the need for lines, my advice would be: improvise and customise

With me, what works best (and I'm not even sugesting it works very well) is "Hi". If the person (woman, actually, but that's incidental) is interested in me already, it will sufice

17:31 / 08.03.06

Even when they do work, they do not cause instant attraction, rather they initiate a consensual dialogue.

That's pretty much the most sensible thing anyone's said.
Pick up lines are not magic words. They simply flag up that a given conversation is a flirtation, and so in effect are like asking permission to procede

17:33 / 08.03.06

The assumption that pick up lines work as made in the thread summary is a new one to me. They don't, do they?

17:36 / 08.03.06

(and by that I mean even if an instant attraction was there the use of a pick up line would destroy it).

Kiltartan Cross

17:48 / 08.03.06

"Do you want to f***?"

I wouldn't recommend everyone use it, but it does save an awful lot of pratting about. Not for random use to casual strangers, but hey, why would you be asking someone you don't know?

17:53 / 08.03.06

I'm pretty sure I have seen pick up lines work but only in the way I've outlined above.

All Acting Regiment

18:31 / 08.03.06

I think the good old "Hi, I'm (name), what's your name?" approach to starting any rleationship- business or pleasure- is vastly underrated.

18:48 / 08.03.06

In fact, I suck at talking to girls in bars and the like. Something to do with my hatred of inane conversation...

You could try and have an non-inane conversation.

I don't think I've ever seen a pick-up line used and have a rather hard time believing in them.

19:08 / 08.03.06

Clubs aren't really conducive to talking though:

A-"The music's really good in here!"
B-"What?"
A-"The music's really good in here!"
B-"What?"
ad infinitum/ad nauseam

The smoking area however is a wonderful invention.

21:18 / 08.03.06

Wow. I didn't think there was such a disgust for pick-up lines. I'm sorry if the thread summary says they work. In my opening post, I said "[they] can't possibly work".

22:02 / 08.03.06

my hair cutter told me one she heard a while ago, made her laugh:

so, do you comb here often?

surely pick-up lines, as a genre, are an avenue of humour? any joke will work - the context makes it funny (or not) i wouldn't ever recommend [or use. never have] a pick up line to actually attempt to pick someone up.

really though, has anyone ever scored with one? come on, spill it...

22:05 / 08.03.06

surely pick-up lines, as a genre, are an avenue of humour? any joke will work

Let´s try this theory:

"Do you work at Subway´s?"

...

"´cause you´re giving me a foot long."

22:08 / 08.03.06

*runs*

22:19 / 08.03.06

*grins*
Not interested; I'm a Quiznosexual.

*

22:27 / 08.03.06

I think pick-up lines were invented for established partners living in silly to tease each other with.

Happy Dave Has Left

09:14 / 09.03.06

In the days when I were a single lad, the only, um, line I used was:

"Hello, I'm Dave. Would you like a drink?"

Did it 'work'? Well, most people don't refuse a drink. And striking up a conversation with someone is easier when you've both got drinks in your hands.

Although sometimes, I just said - 'Hi'.

09:18 / 09.03.06

I've always wondered what the etiquette is for accepting of drinks from strangers. I usually wouldn't. Or if I do insist on buying them a drink right after.

lonely as a cloud...

09:27 / 09.03.06

I've never managed a proper pick-up line. Not intentionally. What usually happens to me is that I've just been chatting with a girl with no intention of "trying it on", or however you want to put it, and then suddenly realised the possibility was there.

Probably the funniest example was with a girl I'll call M; she had been on the outskirts of my circle of friends, though I hadn't met her, and one night we were introduced. We spent the entire evening chatting about music until we were both quite drunk, and then I said "sorry, I'm slightly confused. Would you mind if I kissed you?". And it worked, to my surprise.

Ninjas make great pets

09:45 / 09.03.06

funniest one I got was whilst chatting in a bar with a friend about various tunes/people/what have you. I got the feeling she was trying to chat me up but didn't know how I'd respond and she hadn't asked a girl before. She kind of stopped mind sentence and just said "I've got hot chocolate and marshmellows in my place". I'm a sucker for clumsy but sweet.

09:47 / 09.03.06

"You have nice skin, I'd like to wear it."

...

Perhaps I'm doing something wrong.

10:19 / 09.03.06

Duh, Evil! You have to ask "By the way, are you a size 14?"

11:12 / 09.03.06

We spent the entire evening chatting about music until we were both quite drunk, and then I said "sorry, I'm slightly confused. Would you mind if I kissed you?". And it worked, to my surprise.

Please refer to my previous post in this thread.

How about this I tried another night:

Me: I read somewhere a woman's body has over one hundred erotic spots, but I disagree: there's only one.

She: Really? Which one?

Me: The skin...(ta-dah)

It didn't work, but in my defense, the girl was sober.

11:14 / 09.03.06

I just remembered one that's quite common in my turf.

"Wanna go to my place se my 1980s comic book collection?"

For some reason, it has an abnormaly high level of success. Nerd girls are hot.

My Mom Thinks I'm Cool

11:26 / 09.03.06

my two favorites:

"wow, R, for a girl around here, you're pretty hot!"

"D, why are you leaning on me?"
"S, I've had a lot of brandy today, and you're starting to look really hot."
"D, we're in a counselling session with a psychiatrist and a bunch of other peace corps volunteers and everyone can hear you!"
"Yeah. I know. Wanna make out?"
(S laughs until crying)

02:17 / 10.03.06

'Excuse me, have you fallen over a log lately?'
'No.'
'No? How about a root?'

Dark side of the Moonfrog1

12:07 / 10.03.06

With apologies to Johnny Bravo...

Hey, sugar, was your Daddy from the Carribean? Cos your Jamaicin' me crazy!

*runs and hides*