Not sure if anyone is a member of the Z list if you are you might have seen this, thought it was quite funny though -
quote:----------- Diary of a Multi-Purpose Servitor Creator
Day 1
Today i created a new servitor! Obviously its a general purpose, although
i'm figuring i'll use it more to help me find things that i lose. Its all
gone well so far, and i think i'll have lots of success with this one. If
not, i can always destroy it..
Day 2
I performed my first servitor request ritual today. I banished and performed
all sorts of focusing rites. I think it worked.
Day 5
I performed some more rituals today. These rituals pretty much consist of
drawing the servitors sigils everywhere, and chanting its mantra, and then
statement of intent. It took about 2 hours. I've asked it to help me find my
car keys. If this doesn't work very efficiently, i'll try a blood sacrifice.
Day 7
No car keys yet. Looked for them, but no luck as yet.
Day 9
Still no luck finding my car keys. Tommorow I'll try a blood sacrifice.
Day 10
Today i slit my arms and let my blood drip onto the servitors sigils as an
offering. I can only hope this will help me find my keys.
Day 14
Still no sign of my keys. I fear my arm is infected.
Day 24
Today I got released from hospital. It's nice to be home again, although i
don't think it was the best plan.
Day 25
Where is my servitor? i need it for healing.. I'm figuring i could take its
life force and use it on myself to heal my arm. Its infected again. I also
have a mad headache.
-------- Diary of a Multi-Purpose Servitor
Day 1
A strange day indeed! For some strange reason, i can't remember anything
before today. No matter, i'm sure i'll figure it out later on. I guess i'd
better start coming to terms with who i am, and why i'm here..
I have developed a perculiar affinity for a human on the physical plane.
Once again, i'm not sure why. He also seems rather happy to have me around,
but im not entirely sure why. Another thing i'm not entirely sure of, is why
he keeps drawing little symbols on things, and telling me to do things. I
guess i'll cooperate, at least until i figure out what im doing here, and
what the little symbols mean.
Day 2
It would appear that the human wants to me help him find things. Why, i ask,
does he want me to carry out such menial tasks? I mean, are these creatures
so inept that they can't remember where they put things! In other news, the
symbols are apparently connected to myself in some way. I'm not sure how.
Day 5
Today i caught the human making strange noises and drawing more of those
symbols. AGAIN. Was once not enough?
Day 7
Human is wandering around lifting things up, moving things, and then putting
them back. What strange behaviour.
Day 10
Holy shit! This guy is fucking nuts. Ok, calm down, rephrase. Today the
human used a piece of shiny stuff to make red liquid come out his body. I'm
assuming this is some kind of life force. What kind of fucked up creature
does that to itself. I'm gettin the fuck outta here...
Day 62
Today i went back to my birthplace. Man, i've learnt a lot since then. Turns
out, the human went mad and died like i expected. I'm sure glad i wasnt
around. ahh, a bright future indeed.
|
