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My problem is that I need to see more people, and I don't know how.
Assuming you live within sensible distance of a lerge-ish town: join a club, or some sort of organisation. Not a self-help club neccesarily, perhaps a charity group seeing as you work in a charity shop. Have a look in the local paper, as they advertise there, or do an internet search, and give it a try. Alternatively, enrol on some kind of course at your local community college, perhaps charity management or whatever else interests you.
These are good ways of meeting people, because whatever differences you may have in the group, you can be sure of a similarity in that you'll have a shared purpose in being there.
Sometimes I go into town on friday or saturday nights and try to figure out how people meet each other. It seems like a simple thing, going into a bar or something and go "I have come to find out about drinking" and derail my inhibitions for a while and make friends. People seem to do it all the time.
As far as bars and clubs go: the simple fact is that, definitely with clubs and quite often with pubs, they're loud, noisy and brash places where people go to show off. The chances are that most of the people there are entirely absorbed in themselves and how hott they're looking, and aren't actually that interested in meeting other people or forming the kind of meaningful relationships that I sense you're after. Most people go there as part of a group of friends, not on their own, and that's really the only way to enjoy it unless you're very, very confident and self-assured. I do this sometimes but to be honest it's boring, I much prefer being with a group; I think that's what you need to organise.
I can literally see everyone staring at me - I look that out of place
Well, I can't speak from your experience, but I really really really doubt the punters were actually looking at you anymore than they would look at anyone who entered the bar.
When you say that you look out of place, how exactly do you mean? Are we talking cross-dressing, or just a lack of interest in current fashions?
What are the questions I don't know I should be asking?
There are no magic words, man; it's like chat-up lines, you've just got to try and work out something that links you to the other person in that specific context. |
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