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VALENTINES DAY IS STUPID

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13:05 / 14.02.06

Isn't love a disease though? And doesn't the single life sometimes seem like a form of social leprosy? Either way, this seems like a perfectly good day to have phoned in sick...

13:12 / 14.02.06

(Apologies in advance)

Valentine's Day is wrong. It's wrong because in the UK you can buy EVERY GODDAMNED CONFORMATION OF CHOCOLATE EVER CONCEIVED BY GOD, MAN OR THAT FUCKING THORNTON'S GUY, but you cannot get a goddamned SINGLE Jelly Belly!

Communist choco-centric motherfuckers!

Fuck, I shoulda gone to Birmingham and just sucked it up and paid a fiver for two Jelly Bellies in Selfridge's.

I can't find saffron, either, but I know that's more my fault than the choco-centrist conspiracy at work.

So now I give him a box of dark Continental Thornton's commie gestapo chocolate instead of a bag of chocolate fudge and buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies.

19:22 / 14.02.06

Love.

11:38 / 14.02.07

(Copied from the other Valentine's Day thread because it was bumping, so I assume some high board-fu-majix are afoot with it)

So, St. Orifice's day is here again. How's my peeps?
I just got out of some guys house. Such very odd sex. The dynamic, quite explicitly, was that he wanted me to fall in love with him and to dump my boyfriend. Every so often he kept saying "I can make you fall in love with me", which seemed more about convincing him than me.
I don't feel bad about it. He knew I had a fiance and I told I loved him a lot. Though the guy wouldn't believe that an "open" relationship (hate that term) could be anything other than a sham. He just kept talking, he just needed me to tell him he was beautiful over and over again. And weirder than that, he kept trying to push over his perceived limits of my realtionship. Like, one of the rules is that people aren't allowed to mark me. In my slightly drunken state, I phrased this as "no biting", but he kept biting anyway. It was weird to be watching him at that remove, to know that whatever the visible interaction might be I was still in control. I felt unasailable and I felt bad for him that he felt so desperate.
I'm not sure I'm expressing this well, but it was strange. Very strange.

The actual in-out, however, rocked.

11:48 / 14.02.07

Well, that knocks my Valentines Day plan to go out for a meal with all my other single friends into a cocked hat.

Now I feel bitter and lonely again.

So it's not all bad.

11:52 / 14.02.07

Sounds like a sad soul. Also sounds annoying.

Now that I'm a dad I actually have use for V Day. Sometimes you need people to force you to have fun, you know?

12:01 / 14.02.07

Do what my friend's parents did and start sending your kids cards. There probably too young to give a shit now, but when they get old enough it will start to make their day, and the when they get older it will start to make them feel bad everytime they get that card and tehy are single.

Parents being designed purely to twist their progeny of course.

12:12 / 14.02.07

I will celebrate the occasion by watching two new episodes of Jack & Chloe shouting into cell phones, typing merrily on laptops and driving this way and that way on the city of angels´ busy streets.

13:45 / 14.02.07

Fuck Valentine's Day.

Don't mind me, I'm just bitter, lonely and bitter. Did I mention lonely?

Thank the baby Jesu for Hot Fuzz tonight.

Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

13:52 / 14.02.07

Valentyne.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

13:52 / 14.02.07

I never understood why there was a holiday celebrating the murder-by-thompson gun of a bunch of people that is supposed to be about love.

I'll get my hat...

All Acting Regiment

14:01 / 14.02.07

Well for once I have a reason to be happy on this of all days. Bit too earlier to share details yet, but, well.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:05 / 14.02.07

Hmm. When, like now, I'm single, it's always a bit depressing (not so much for the obvious reasons, as for the fact that all your non-single friends are all simultaneously unavailable for drinking purposes), when I'm in a relationship it always seems to make things a bit awkward. The whole thing makes me slightly uncomfortable, to be honest. Not intensely so, just... a bit.

Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

14:10 / 14.02.07

Hey Stoatie, don't worry, you can come and join me this afternoon up Oxford Street. I just bought a very romantic pump action shotgun!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:11 / 14.02.07

Ooh, you smooth-talking bastard, you.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:15 / 14.02.07

I am usually in accordance with my hatred of this holiday--which doesn't help when every single boyfriend you've ever had was a complete and total cock, but that probably says something about me, really--but when your Valentine's Day present is the most recent Tom Waits disc set with a card, all nay-saying (at least for today) can kindly fuck off.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

14:19 / 14.02.07

That box set is full of the awesome Kali, enjoy it!

I am having a good day, since we got hit with a big snow storm I have a day off of work AND postponed a dentist appointment.

Double True!

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:21 / 14.02.07

Admittedly, I'm spending today like a normal person, doing laundry, considering going to a movie, but now I wonder if I shouldn't hole up in the house (after the laundry, the laundry really needs doing), write, listen to all three discs, and have a bottle of wine.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

14:33 / 14.02.07

Kali: Listen to the discs! Especially Bawlers. Actually, especially all of it.

Harrison: is it a... a... love-pump action shotgun?

14:37 / 14.02.07

This Valentine's i received:

TOTORO!

Hand-made, no less, by my Love!

Therefore, Valentine's is Best Ever Thing and all nay-sayers can go poop in their lonely sob-hats.

14:40 / 14.02.07

Django, I think Harrison's shotgun is just your standard firearm. It's his intention - to create adversity for lovers to overcome - that's romantic.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

14:43 / 14.02.07

And who said love is dead? Well, maybe Harrison will have something to do with that more specifically, but hey - it's the thought that goes into these romantic notions which counts, isn't it?

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:44 / 14.02.07

.trampetunia, that is the CUTEST thing ever.

I've already posted a blog about how candy and flowers and teddy bears are complete crap compared to Tom Waits CDs and now Totoro.

14:53 / 14.02.07

it's the thought that goes into these romantic notions which counts, isn't it?

And the buckshot apparently

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:54 / 14.02.07

A friend of mine has just phoned, and we've decided that we should both use this day to consummate our love of booze.

Not long now, my beloved pub. Wait a short while and we shall be reunited once more, my darling.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:55 / 14.02.07

Now that, Stoatie, is the greatest love of all. A love between one and one's pub. It's a love I know well. Mine doesn't open until four, damn their eyes.

15:07 / 14.02.07

Damn Stoatie, that brought a tear to my eye.

15:12 / 14.02.07

you know really, fuck roses and their common everyday love associations. I staggered out of work to have breakfast with a lovely lady and found a small shrub of lilies sprouted from my desk when I returned.

Stinky glorious Lilies!!

I also invited one of our very single pals over to have a home cooked meal with us tonight. Seeing as the spouse hates this holiday I'm sure he'll be happy to have it transformed into a regular nice dinner.

He may however not want to share his spicy chocolate truffles with me let alone anyone else.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

15:14 / 14.02.07

Yeah, the pub's going to be great , especially if it's the Roch. A finer display of the attachment of folk to their spirtual home and their one true lifelong love I have yet to see displayed for the world to see.

And the residents... sorry, punters, wouldn't even bat an eyelid if Harrison Ford burst in with his shotgun to celebrate St. Valentine's day - lord alone knows it's happened enough a few doors up. It's the sort of pub I'd imagine Alex's grandma would be found lurking in the corner of, nursing a sour expression and a port'n'brandy. She'd fit right in with the general clientele.

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

15:15 / 14.02.07

I called the Accomplice this morning to tell him I loved him because it's Wednesday, not because of capitalism. I think we're meeting downtown this evening to see what the gang of single people we hang out with are doing. Probably drinks or whatever. This will not keep me from my one true love, the Gin.

Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

15:25 / 14.02.07

trampetunia, that is such a cute Totoro. Shame I'm gonna have to kick it in the air then blow it up with my shotgun, but that's just the Valentines Day Rules i'm afraid.
I've injured 42 people so far, in Lovers bustling London, this is bloody brilliant...hold up reload...back inna bit.

15:59 / 14.02.07

Totoro death makes the baby jesus cry.

Cry bullets.

Cry bullets into your face.

HAPPY VALENTINES!

Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

16:05 / 14.02.07

Whatever, cry me a pint of tears, then pick up the little grey pieces!

17:21 / 14.02.07

Those 'grey pieces' might be Totoro brain matter.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

17:22 / 14.02.07

It's not Valentine's Day if you're not picking up grey matter.

I'm just sayin'.

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