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Lame jokes and puns [PICS]

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Dead Megatron

20:16 / 07.02.06

OK, Following an advice from Haus, I'm creating this thread so that I don't fill serious threads with nonsense bullshit. Everybody else is free to doo the same, of course.

Dead Megatron

20:19 / 07.02.06

Ok, first one

If there are the Fathers For Justice, I really think someone should create the [moment of suspense...] there the Legion of Mothers for DOOM!!!! (Ta-dammm!)

ok, I said it would be lame...

Dead Megatron

20:22 / 07.02.06

Another one

I strongly believe that, at any time now, Haus and Shadowsax will get together and adopt a few kids who will NEVER STOP TALKING!!!!!!

(no offense, dudes)

All Acting Regiment

21:34 / 07.02.06

Keep going. So long as it's here it's contained.

Dead Megatron

21:55 / 07.02.06

Containment never was my strong point...

oh yeah, and BEWARE THE KILLER BUNNIES!

lekvar

00:24 / 08.02.06

... Haus and Shadowsax will get together and adopt a few kids who will NEVER STOP TALKING!!!!!!

Write up your proposal and send it to Hollywood. By this time next year you could be the creator of the greatest sitcom/reality show EVAR!

Voiceover: One is an divorced American father fighting the forces of Feminism! The other is a British classicist who just wants to huggle! Together they are...
[music swells]
My Two Dads!
Cry as they adopt lovable racially diverse orphans!
Laugh as they attempt to explain each other's logical fallacies!

Dead Megatron

23:27 / 08.02.06

This is from Western Energy Police thread in the Laboratory forum

I think as an adjunct to the waste and overproduction that already happens in western societies (fermented food-waste, for example?) rather than a concerted effort to use it as the sole supply of car-fuel would be the most sensible path.

Trash-fueled cars? Haven't I seen that in Back to the Future II? Maybe nine years from now, then. Flying DeLoreans, on the other hand, still seem a bit unlikely. At this point.

Dead Megatron

23:29 / 08.02.06

It's fun to have a thread almost entirely devoted to one's own ego, like this. I recomend it to everybody

Ganesh

23:42 / 08.02.06

That's nice, dear.

matthew.

03:04 / 09.02.06

Ganesh? Where's your pun? Didja forget it at the door?

ONLY NICE THINGS

05:19 / 09.02.06

Maybe he left it.. in the trunk.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Benny the Ball

05:40 / 09.02.06

tusk! Haus, really...

All Acting Regiment

05:48 / 09.02.06

Ivory about how you might have hurt Ganesh's feelings. He'll never forget that, most likely. And aren't they normally scared of Hice?

Mistoffelees

09:24 / 09.02.06

I once stumbled on a site, that promised the funniest joke ever. It´s quite short, still I never could read more than the first line, because at Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!..., I was giggling so hard, I turned temporarily blind from hyperventilation.

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:39 / 09.02.06

Sniv

10:12 / 09.02.06

Dead Megatron - If there are the Fathers For Justice, I really think someone should create the [moment of suspense...] there the Legion of Mothers for DOOM!!!! (Ta-dammm!)

Curse you and your getting-there-first, Megatron! *shakey fisty* I was going to make almost the very same joke in the F4J thread after the 'plot' to kidnap Leo Blair, but was worried about getting shouted at by militant Switchboarders, so pushed it to the back of my mind.

However, I'd have had a splinter group called the Fathers 4 Eeeevil, and they'd be the world first super-villain team, nd they'd kidnap famous children. The Fathers 4 Justice would arrive (taadaaaa!!), kick the shit out of the Eeeevil dads and rescue the kiddies, proving t the courts their fitness and stability as strong role models.

*ahem*

Mistoffelees

10:24 / 09.02.06

Haus, you seem to to have a valid comment about the habits of internet users and their way of using antic humour for social bonding.

But the true purpose of your post is giving Dead Megatron some of his own medicine. Just as he attempted to derail serious threads by being silly, you now try to derail his thread by being serious iwhen it´s meant to be filled with "nonsense bullshit".

Or I´ve seen too many CSI episodes with twist endings recently.

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:52 / 09.02.06

I was thinking of the Fathers 4 Justice League of America, versus the feminist lawcourts of doom and their leader, SUPERMANHATER!

"So, Mr. Kent, you decided that the best way to draw attention to your plight was to... dress as Superman?"

"Well, not exacty. I was dressed as Superman anyway. You see, I am -"

"Your personal life is not the concern of the court, Mr. Kent. What is the concern of the court is that you then threw Mr. Brainiac into low earth orbit, having immersed him in molten lead from a smelting plant you casually decided to uproot and transport from Vermont. Let me ask you, Mr. Kent... is this the sort of conflict resolution you intend to teach your son?"

"Um."

Sniv

11:37 / 09.02.06

Haus - Fathers 4 Justice League of America

Yeah, that Justice League of America is HOTT! Hmmmm, Batman...

Dead Megatron

12:36 / 09.02.06

Seriously, folks, I have to ask - why is it that people on the Internet believe that referencing a joke made two or three decades ago is the cutting edge of funny? This never ceases to fascinate me. Obviously, it isn't any humour in the delivery itself, nor any novelty in the content. I generally suspect it is a form of primitive communalism - a reminder of the origins of web community in slightly socially inept shut-ins, and a sort of throwback reminder that the acceptance code of the Internet remains in place - so, a sort of fear-relieving grooming ritual.

Oh, shut the f&%# up, Haus. This is my thread, and, in here, references to jokes made two or three decades ago are pratically mandatory. Do you hear me, people? MANDATORY!!!!

btw, I'll french-kiss anybody who can point me to anything funnier than Monty Python. Thi site does not count.

13:48 / 09.02.06

I think that arch-nemeses of the Fathers 4 Justice League would be the Motherhood Of Evil Women.

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:01 / 09.02.06

btw, I'll french-kiss anybody who can point me to anything funnier than Monty Python

People's own jokes. Now hurry up, I've got Elijah coming over as well and only a finite amount of chapstick.

Dead Megatron

15:32 / 09.02.06

On my way, dude. When you hear windowcrahsing noises and footsteps at your home at 4:15 a.m., that will be me

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:35 / 09.02.06

I now have a finite amount of chopstick. Which which to poke you in the eye as you seek ingress to my inner sanctum. And also to break into my home.

Dead Megatron

15:47 / 09.02.06

Bring it on, man! I'm a a master of the chopstick technique. Also, you need to see what I can to with fortune coockies,it's bloooody violent

Our Lady Has Left the Building

16:58 / 09.02.06

Dead Megatron (Unicron's man) Oh, shut the f&%# up, Haus. This is my thread, and, in here, references to jokes made two or three decades ago are pratically mandatory. Do you hear me, people? MANDATORY!!!!

Now the shoe is on the other orange ma cherie! Here we shall have our revenge by dropping in irrelevent spots of information to ruin the smooth passage of your joke thread!!1!

Hence: The Clouded-bordered Brindle (Apamea crenata) is a moth of the family Noctuidae. It is distributed throughout Europe.

ONLY NICE THINGS

17:14 / 09.02.06

Now the shoe is on the other orange ma cherie!

I love it when you talk Gambit.

Dead Megatron

17:14 / 09.02.06

The Clouded-bordered Brindle (Apamea crenata) is a moth of the family Noctuidae. It is distributed throughout Europe.

Yeah, but can it carry coconuts by string during migrations?

Ha, I'm unbeatable!

One letter out.

Traditionally, the Barbelith answer to hate is not more hate. MThere are sooo many jokes sprouting from that comment, I hardly know where to start (many of them are homophobic, so my Barbe-spam filter is working fine, thanks)

I think that's pretty much exactly where to start - by not making homophobic jokes. I know this is corrupting the thread with seriousness again, but I think DM has made a very good statement here on the importance of maintaining awareness that your own filters on what is acceptable, and for that matter made acceptable through humour, are not necessarily shared by everyone, adn that it is often best to err on the side of caution.

Dead Megatron

17:49 / 09.02.06

I think I did err in the side of caution, didn't I? Except, maybe, with the "rocket" comment...

Anyway, I would really like to see some jokes on heterosexuality. I like to laugh at myself even more than at other people.

(jokes directed exclusively at me would be even more fun)

Quantum

18:01 / 09.02.06

I would really like to see some jokes on heterosexuality

What did the bloke say to the bird?
Nuffink, she was a munter!
Hahhahahahahahahah..etc

I can't do jokes at your expense my friend, it's like fish in a barrel. Tuna fish in a biscuit barrel, using a LAWS autoshotgun with M.Python ammo. Dead Megatron=Dead Parrot, that's as far as I'll go.

Dead Megatron

18:12 / 09.02.06

See, that was funny. "Dead Parrot" made me giggle. Beware of the undead pirate on whose shoulder I sit, man! He eats brains! (then again, you may be safe)

Chiropteran

19:09 / 09.02.06

Beware of the undead pirate on whose shoulder I sit, man! He eats brains!

DM, was that actually a (rather thickly) veiled Glen or Glenda reference, or is it just me being a huge B-movie geek, as usual? "Puppy dog tails and beeeeeg fat snails..."

Also:

Hence: The Clouded-bordered Brindle (Apamea crenata) is a moth of the family Noctuidae. It is distributed throughout Europe.

Thank you, Lady - I can appreciate that, on a personal level.

Dead Megatron

19:13 / 09.02.06

I'm afraid I never saw an Ed Wood production. This kind of B-movie is hard to find down here in Brazil. In fact, I wouldn't even know who the guy is if it wasn't for Tim Burton (GREAT movie, btw). Anyway, since it was Johnny Depp who played the main role both in Ed Wood AND Pirates of the Caribbean, my come-back stands...

and beware of the... oh, you know it already.

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