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Underground > Games & Gameplay >

Design a video game based on the work of Morrissey and The Smiths

20:53 / 30.01.06

I think this has got legs, financially. Cash will be split, hypothetically, as seems about existentially correct, but... oh well, on with the discussion.

Level 1: 'You've Got Everything Now.' Morrissey wakes up in the morning, does his hair, is depressed about the bedsit, and must buy a pint of milk. This is harder than expected - He shouldn't have to shoot all those people, should he? What's he doing with a gun in the first place?

Level 2: 'What Difference Does It Make?' Things would begin to get ugly. What difference, after all, does anything make? These are not questions that Terminator-Morrissey would have any time for, given the situation, as he goes off on a psychotic rampage round at Alan Bennett's gaff. To finish this level, you'd have to bust a serious cap in Thora Hird's ass.

Level 3: 'Never Had No-one Ever.' After the mayhem of the previous two, this'd be a more reflective level, ideally. He could just walk about the cemetary, drinking beer. He'd have to, I don't know, try and deal with the zombies?

Anyway enough - guys, ladies, over to you!11!23!

21:02 / 30.01.06

4 - Cemetary Gates - second zombie/cemetary level. In the climactic boss fight, against the re-embodied ghosts of Keats and Yeats, Oscar Wilde appears from beyond the grave to team up with our Mozzer.

5 - Panic - with the zombies now spreading across the country, Morrissey travels the UK on a whistle-stop orgy of violence. Manchester and London form the primary backdrops for this stage.

6 - There is a light that never goes out - obligatory driving level interlude.

21:20 / 30.01.06

This at least should have some small part in the thread.

And "You just haven't earned it yet, Baby: A text based adventure". Bonus level in which you enter the workforce and carefully navigate through a quagmire of petty office politics and workplace sociopaths in an attempt to gain a wage packet before the final and inevitable descent of the "red mist".

01:06 / 31.01.06

7) November Spawned A Monster - Boss fight!

8) National Front Disco - A Dance Dance Revolution style level, in which you must match your moves to the Nazi beats, whilst skillfully avoiding NME accusations...

9) Back To The Old House - A fairly uneventful level. You wander around an old house. There aren't even any zombies...

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:23 / 31.01.06

This game must surely, at some point, feature a battle with a High Court judge, who attempts to bludgeon 'you' to death with his gavel.

What would be really good would be if this game was one in which you could use to play other characters. Such as the judge. With his gavel.

13:25 / 31.01.06

"Hold on to Your Friends-A passive-aggressive fantasy" Bonus level
(adaptor leads available at £49.99 for 5-6 person multiplay)
In this level you must sing along to songs from The Smiths and Morrissey catalogue in the style of Sing Star. If the you should hit a bum note electrical currents are passed through the joypad giving you a small but not insignificant shock. If the you however succeed in "Hold[ing] on to Your Friends" the current thereby passing through you to your friend/opponent it distracts them and causes them to falter and hit a bum note. You can play this way ad infinitum until severely charred although safety would reccommend that you don't, but computer games do bring out the competitive worst in people.

01:51 / 01.02.06

Penultimate level before the judge: Meat is Murder, in which you have to escape being turned into meatloaf by half-human cows and animated turkey carcasses who throw sharpened strips of bacon with deadly accuracy.

The second level boss would be the DJ that you must successfully hang.