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Changing the Temple forum description.

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electric monk

14:30 / 17.02.06

I somewhat agree with you, Spine, but at the same time I do think we should keep "will" in there. If we change the case of the letters thusly:

Faith, magic & mysticism, bodywork and applied psychology: the Arts of change and will

I think the words lose some of the connotations you're taking issue with. Does this change neutralize the terms enough, or are they just too loaded to work in the way we want them to?

Seth

12:59 / 19.02.06

That works fine for me. Nice one monk.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

22:48 / 19.02.06

Splendid.

Any chance of some small print prohibiting Mr Coffeebean from actually posting there?

Only joking, natch! What a wonderful challenge ze is!

cool.

Glad you all approve of it. I still think it's a little wordy, but don't really see any more cuts we can make either.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

15:39 / 20.02.06

Well, if we drop 'The Arts of change and will' then it fits with the rest of the desriptions, being 8 words (The biggest is 9, most around 7 or 8).

electric monk

17:40 / 20.02.06

A mock-up:

Changed the "and" to "&" and removed "the Arts..." Didn't like removing them, but seeing it in the mock-up made me think it's probably better this way. Having it in there puts the subhead waaaay across the opening page and it looks really off.

wafflewafflewaffle

grant

Oxford comma!

?

After 'bodywork'?

Where? Where is the Oxford comma in that subtitle?

electric monk

11:26 / 21.02.06

I had to look it up, but I think I see what you're saying now, grant. 'Bodywork and applied psychology' ends up conflating the terms in a wierd way. Try this:

Faith, magic and mysticism, bodywork, and applied psychology

I like the ambiguity between 'magic and mysticism', so I kept that. Plus it reads as too
list-y without the 'and'. NO LISTS!

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

11:30 / 21.02.06

Bingo, I believe.

Gypsy Lantern

13:02 / 21.02.06

That sounds good to me. [subeditor] I'll be glad to see the back of those leading caps on chaos magic... [/subeditor]

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:15 / 21.02.06

I'd sort of like to see "faith" come after "magic and mysticism" but otherwise I think that's grand.

electric monk

13:54 / 21.02.06

I kinda like it where it is. I think it serves as a subtle statement that all sorts of beliefs are welcome in the Temple. It's also a good initial hook that plays well against the rest of it. "Faith? Magic? Huh?"

Sekhmet

14:11 / 21.02.06

I'm not so sure that I like losing the "change and will" bit entirely, though. That seems important.

Although, come to think, will and change are implicit (hopefully) in magic, bodywork and applied psychology... so carry on I suppose.

grant

16:40 / 21.02.06

I like it.

Seth

10:06 / 22.02.06

Me like too. Now how do we get it changed? Tom?

Gypsy Lantern

13:10 / 22.02.06

I didn't like the "change and will" bit as it was too Crowley-esque. I agree that those ideas are - or should be - implicit in the word magic anyway, and to include them seems to suggest that we are giving a vague unsatisfyling definition of what we mean by the term "magic". Which is probably not a good idea, especially not in the forum abstract. As it stands, it just lists the sort of stuff that gets talked about in the Temple without trying to define what those words mean too closely.

Sound.

And there it is on the front page today (the 23rd. wwwwwwwoooooooooooooooo!).

Thanks, Tom!

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