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My name is Janean Patience, and I am a DC Showcase addict...
I thought I could handle it. It wasn't so long ago - only last year - that I'd get Amazon to throw a Showcase in with a serious comics purchase just to provide some light relief. I'd keep one by the bed and chuckle my way through it last thing at night.
In the last couple of months, though, it's got out of hand. I can't be without a new Showcase. When one's finished I'm straight into the next, and I'm not getting them cheap online anymore. I'm paying full price from regular comic shops and ignoring the contempt from behind the counter. I got it bad.
But I don't have the cash or, more importantly, the shelf space to continue feeding this addiction. I'm running out of room. And these comics don't have the depth to repay repeated readings (though I did go through a Superman volume once counting the statues, of which more later). So I'm looking to move some on and move in some replacements. Essentially, this is Saturday morning in the 1970s, I'm wearing a garish jumper and rodent beard, and I'm looking for swaps.
Here's what I've got and why it's good:
The Brave and the Bold v1: On p2 of Batman vs Eclipso, Batman makes out. The caption reads WHAT'S THIS? OLD CAPE-AND-COWL SAVES A GORGEOUS CHICK, AND THEY MELT INTO AN EMBRACE! Cue flashback, where we meet the girl tightrope-walking on a suspension bridge and three panels later Batman's spanking her ass in front of the Gotham media. Five panels later, she's helping him fight crime. Two panels later he proposes as Batman in the Batmobile.
Also features Batman opening Chinese New Year by breaking out of a paper bat costume - he was a civic-minded dude back then, available to add razzamatazz to official engagements - midget romance, Green Arrow defeating a Thunderbird, Neal Adams art, the sentence "you bet your bippy," and Batman in a threesome with batgirl and Wonder Woman. I reckon. They both pretend they've fallen for him, then they both really fall for him, and the final panel is SOME TIME LATER, IN GOTHAM CITY... "BYE BATMAN, HOPE WE MADE UP FOR REALLY FALLING FOR YOU--!"
Legion of Superheroes v1: Worth reading for the story that introduces Mon-El alone. Superboy finds an amnesiac stranger in a crashed rocket with a letter of introduction from Jor-El, decides he's his older brother, spends pages convincing him he's his older brother, discovers he's not his older brother, lures him to a remote asteroid and kills him. In the middle of this he nips back thru time to discover the real story of Cinderella and there's not only the traditional misleading cover but a misleading splash pages as well.
As for the Legion, they spend most of their time mistrusting or lying to or ostracising each other, like teenagers do. Planets featured: Lost World, Quarantine World, Lightning World, Monster World, Puppet World, Thieves' Planet, and more. Also features the Legion of Super-Pets saving the day.
Batman v2: They called him the Masked Manhunter a lot in those days. A possible title for the third Bale movie? Two captions: THE ASTOUNDING CONCLUSION TO "DEATH KNOCKS THREE TIMES" WILL MAKE YOU DOUBT YOUR OWN SENSES!and STORY CONTINUES ON THE FOLLOWING PAGE LEADING TO THE MOST STARTLING CLIMAX EVER CONCEIVED BY THE HUMAN IMAGINATION!
Also features the Joker's midget sidekick, Batman caught in an inescapable doom trap in a story that makes so little sense it makes you doubt your own senses, Batman staying in to watch himself on TV, The Eraser, and Robin really, really making with the puns.
Superman v1: This is 50s Superman, broad-chested, drawn by Boring and as square as they come. It's where a lot of the mythos comes from including Kandor and Brainiac, Supergirl, the Fortress of Solitude and Bizarro. It's also got that Superman's New Power story that Grant M found so Freudian, where a tiny Superman shoots out of big Supes' hand.
And it features many, many examples of Kryptonian cruelty as Superman screws with Lois Lane. He proposes while looking like Alfred E Neuman but stops the marriage by welding her car doors shut with heat vision, he tells her his secret identity when she's disguised as a Kryptonian movie star, he even marries her one time but by trickery gets it annuled. If you've ever thought that marriage and women are to be avoided at all costs, this book's for you.
Superman v4: It's the Silver Age, and everything's gone really crazy. The death of the Kents wasn't wacky enough? Throw in time travel, pirates and the fever plague. An imaginary story with Lois Lane as the Super-Maid of Kypton? Superman hunted as a fugitive in Kandor? And best of all, the cover story when Superman goes to the far future, is stranded there because Earth now has a red sun, and spends his time wandering around with a robot Perry White left in Metropolis as a tribute to Superman who has no idea who Superman is. Uh?
And the statues. There is rarely a story without a statue of some kind. If it isn't Superman as a Kryptonian snake-beast smashing a statue of himself, it's a statue of Luthor on a world where he's a hero or a retired police chief whittling scenes of Supes's great deeds. So many statues that this one almost drove me insane.
Essential X-men v2: From #128 "WITHOUT BREAKING STRIDE, CYCLOPS OPENS HIS RUBY QUARTZ VISOR A CRACK -- AND CRIMSON BEAMS LASH OUT FROM HIS EYES."
From #130: "MUTANT ABILITY SOLAR-CHARGED OPTIC BEAM FIRED FROM HIS EYES, CONTROLLED IN PART BY HIS RBUY QUARTZ VISOR."
From #132: "PUT MY VISOR DOWN! IF I OPEN MY EYES EVEN FRACTIONALLY WITHOUT THE VISOR'S RUBY QUARTZ SHIELD TO CONTAIN MY OPTIC BLASTS--!"
From #133: "LOCKED INSIDE THIS RUBY QUARTZ HELMET, I CAN ONLY GUESS AT WHAT'S GOING ON! THE HELMET MAY NEUTRALIZE MY OPTIC BLASTS--"
From #134: "UNTIL I FIND MY RUBY QUARTZ VISOR, I HAVE ONLY LIMITED CONTROL OVER MY DEADLY OPTIC BLASTS."
The Dark Phoenix Saga and the Jim Shooter era, never knowlingly underexplained. Okay, so I wasn't that keen on this one but as mentioned earlier it's got great art and it's the foundation of everything the X-Men are today. Alpha Flight, Proteus, Kitty Pryde, and never less than one fight an issue.
Jesus that's been work. Please someone be interested. UK or European swaps preferred, because posting these things across the Atlantic really isn't carbon efficient, and it seems I like Superman and family more than the rest but I'll willingly broaden my horizons. Anyone? |
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