Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

So we're all going to die unless we live on a mountain

Tryphena Absent

22:32 / 17.01.06

I nominate Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall. TV chef. Grows things. Handy with alcohol (can make it from stuff), even I may need alcohol when everyone else is drowning.

Julie Andrews so that we have someone to sing about how great mountains are.

Jonathan the Impaler. When it gets cold we'll need to borrow his cloaks and if we get really hungry we can eat him.

And Steve Irwin, when we get sad he'll be so mundane that he will invoke our rage and make us all feel better with the anger and the adrenaline and also we could hit him and not feel guilty not too much though, we may need him to tame and slaughter the Impaler so that we can eat him. I also think he probably has knives.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:36 / 17.01.06

Traci and Chantelle off Celebrity Big Brother. Their relentless optimism will prove invaluable. And when that gets annoying (which it will) they can piss off and talk to each other until we need cheering up again.

Derren Brown- when the end of the world all gets a bit too much we can get him to convince us we're all out watching a nice puppet show or something.

Tryphena Absent

22:38 / 17.01.06

Derren's a great choice and he'll look great in Jonathan's outerwear!

eddie thirteen

23:12 / 17.01.06

Tom Jones. Because he can talk to animals, kick anyone's ass (in the event that Jonathon vamps out and begins picking us off one by one, this could be advantageous), and knows how to fly a plane (that doesn't sound immediately useful, I know, but these scenarios always seem to lead to finding a hidden cache of WWII-era weaponry and paraphernalia at some point; I expect that the cobwebbed skeleton of the pilot -- still in flightsuit and helmet -- will be waiting in the cockpit, but that won't intimidate Tom Jones for a minute). Also, he's just Tom Jones. This spells romantic ruin for all the other men in the commune, as all the women will instinctively flock to him, but what else is new...and anyway, all he has to do is belt out the theme to "Thunderball" and it's hard to hold anything against him. There is a natural order to things, after all.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

23:22 / 17.01.06

[There has been some more discussion here of the relative merits of floating towns of boats lashed together vs. mountains with big fences, for those who missed it.]

I think Tom Jones would sing sea shanties far better than Julie Andrews could. There's going to be a lot of time for singing, after all.

Though you get better echoes from mountains, it's true.

Bed Head

23:31 / 17.01.06

Yes, why are you even considering a mountain commune, when a boat-based commune is clearly the *only* way to survive the coming environmental catastrophe in style and comfort? Always stay one step ahead of a changeable sealevel with A BOAT. Tired of trying to anticipate what a crazy, mixed-up climate is going to do to your crops next season? Try A BOAT. You can go where the sun goes with A BOAT. VOTE BOAT etc etc

And my boat (or, y'know, mountain, if the mountain argument wins the day) needs Captain Jack Harkness on it. So to speak. I’d find something for him to do, those decks won’t swab themselves, etc. Also, he’s good at wiring extrapolators into tardis consoles, so hooking up + maintaining our solar panels should be a doddle for him.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:35 / 17.01.06

Ooh, yes, Captain Jack. And, indeed, Captain Jack Sparrow. In our new rebuilt civilisation there'll be no need for such heirarchies, so two Captains'll be fine.

Though in the painful transition period, we need Edward James Olmos. Firm, but fair. He'll see us through until we find that fabled Mount Ararat. If it even exists.

paranoidwriter waves hello

23:45 / 17.01.06

When the fit hits the shan, I reckon the best man to have around would be...(*fanfare*)...Ray Mears. Put simply, the man's nothing short of a survival and bushcraft legend, and he's a really nice guy to boot (from what I've seen of his TV shows, of course). Oh yeah. Ray da Man.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:48 / 17.01.06

Oh, if we're having Ray Mears, we have to have Rex Hunt. Even though I find fishing morally repugnant, the man is one of the more entertaining mads Planet Earth has to offer, and thus should be preserved.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

23:49 / 17.01.06

I feel we might have the need for a qualified telephone sanitiser. The satellite phones might work for a while yet, and it would be a shame for the last remnants of civilisation to be wiped out by a disease contracted from an unclean mobile handset.

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

02:06 / 18.01.06

There will need to be a book publisher, of course, because what would we do without best sellers? And I'll need to one to complain about for rejecting my books as I sit up on the mountain.

Jack Harkness - yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

Saveloy

07:09 / 18.01.06

The proper solution is obvious: a floating mountain!

We will need Geoff Capes, to handle the oars.

modern maenad

07:18 / 18.01.06

We'll need to collect rainwater unless we start stocking up on the bottled stuff now!

All you need is one of these:

a solar still

Evil Scientist

07:23 / 18.01.06

Chuck Norris To defend us from the invisible monsters and polar bears that will, no doubt, surround our commune. Oh sure we'll lose the odd person to roundhouse-kick-releated deaths, but some sacarifices need to be made to protect the many.

Spyder Todd 2008

14:43 / 18.01.06

I vote for Captain James T Kirk to be added to our collection of captains. Whether by seducing the alien princess or simply destroying his enemies outright, Captain Kirk has shown that his own particular brand of diplomacy is sure to protect those he commanders, at the very least. Also, he wrestled a gorn victoriously, and gorns are a lot like alligators, so that will probably come in handy. And he killed Christopher Lloyd with his bare hands (and with a volcano, but that's just splitting hairs). That has to count for something.

paranoidwriter waves hello

15:05 / 18.01.06

If we're taking the cheeky little space-imp, Kirk, can we take His Silly Holiness, Leslie Nielson? He'd keep the kids entertained and make sure we don't go all "Lord of the Flies".

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

15:14 / 18.01.06

Plus, Nielsen's also good with the giant invisible monsters stalking our borders...

Tryphena Absent

15:23 / 18.01.06

Excuse me the only captain here is Warlord Nina Skryty.

Axolotl

16:11 / 18.01.06

A solar still? Bah, that is the boring kind of still. I vote we bring moonshiners. They will be able to provide us with the single most important of all commodities: booze. This will come in handy for trade goods, as well as for our own personal use. I also reckon they'd be handy in a fight, used as they are to seeing off the "revenoooers".

Add Your Reply