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Florida is so fucked.

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10:39 / 17.01.06

Moved here about a month ago and a lot of bad vibes here. Plane crashes, man shot by air marshalls on plane, woman shooting her twin sons, and three teenagers arrested for going around and assaulting (and killing) homeless people for fun. Everything is so far apart here, and public transport kinda sucks.

Ok weather though.

10:46 / 17.01.06

plus grant.
grant seems nice.

A

10:54 / 17.01.06

Have you retired, Jack?

11:02 / 17.01.06

Sounds like London. Only with plane crashes and better weather.

11:37 / 17.01.06

So that's why it was a number one holiday destination on my estate...

13:26 / 17.01.06

It's the love.

The love that makes us behave so badly.

That said, I've been sort of following the homeless-killers story, and it's about as disgusting as it gets.

subcultureofone

15:04 / 17.01.06

it's the love? i thought it was the hurricanes. or the tourists. or the students at spring break. or something released during bombing practice in the ocala national forest. or something in the aquifer.

welcome to florida. sorry about all the killing.

try hanging out with some manatees. they're pretty mellow.

15:32 / 17.01.06

Which is why they must die. Great big, laid-back, beady-eyed bastards.

Incidentally, I'm fairly sure it's all South Beach's fault.

15:42 / 17.01.06

I'm in Neptune Beach.

15:45 / 17.01.06

Where'zat?

15:56 / 17.01.06

About a twenty minute walk down the street from Jacksonville Beach.

15:58 / 17.01.06

Heheheh -- Sounds like it'd be near Jupiter & Juno, or near Venus. But it's not.

It's up by Jacksonville, or near enough. You should go out to Cumberland Island (just north of the Georgia border). It's fun. Docile armadillos and wild horses.

16:00 / 17.01.06

How'd you like Fernandina? Very touristy, I thought, but not so bad. I like old houses.

Most of the craziness happens south of you, by the way.

16:01 / 17.01.06

Can I visit your offices sometime Grant? I bet it's really cool and looks like a bigger version of Clowie from Smallville's work place with her wall of weirdness.

Good things here include, hearing the ocean at night, these little lizard thingies everywhere, and everyone seems to own a dog and walk, which kind of gives me a dog show everytime I step out for a smoke break.

16:09 / 17.01.06

The lizard thingies might be either geckos or anoles. Geckos are the flat-looking pinkish ones, anoles are the green/brown/yellowish/red striped ones.

16:10 / 17.01.06

Where your hood at Monk?

16:17 / 17.01.06

Pulled up o'er me head. (Thanks for the set-up there.)

I call Delray Beach home. It's just north of Boca Raton.

16:21 / 17.01.06

I`m at a total geographical loss here. Is this all Miami? The only time in my life I visited Florida I was 13 and only got to know Disney World (and Boca Raton, go figure)...

16:27 / 17.01.06

No no no. Jack's a ways north of Orlando, grant and I are a ways south as the crow flies. Miami's further south of us yet.

Although. one day, it will all be Disney World.

19:04 / 17.01.06

Although. one day, it will all be Disney World.

You mean, extremely long lines for anything, no booze, and people wearing pernonal-furry-sweat-suits? Jeb Bush for governor of Small World (it is, after all)? Talking about ironic hell dimensions...

But I only heard good things about Florida, actually: pretty women, good beaches, not that much aligators, open-air sauna in July, less crime than, say, Rio de Janeiro...
Maybe this "bad vibe" is a momentaneouns thing.

19:41 / 17.01.06

Eh, not such a bad state taken all around. There are some fantastic beaches, and plenty of nature for the lovers-of. Pretty women? Yeah we've got our share, but we've got more than our share of plastic surgery disasters as well. Great if you're into that kind of thing. Stomach churning if you ain't.

But yeah: Stolen elections, stolen votes, voter intimidation, the 'Miami model' of crowd control, air marshalls, killer kiddies, etc. Florida's got it's fucked-up side, no doubt.

19:58 / 17.01.06

Stop me if I told this one before...
I was working temp for a couple of gents from Florida a couple of years ago, a father-and-son team, installing carpet in an office building. About halfway through the shift, the father gets a call on his cell. After about five minutes he comes up to the son, who I was working with, and calmly tells him that there's an alligator in the back yard.

Again.

Second time this year.

And people think that California is weird? Please.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:05 / 17.01.06

Florida's one one the places in the States I'd like to visit. Probably just played too much Vice City, mind you, although I don't feel the urge to drop porn flyers from a seaplane.

20:14 / 17.01.06

You should, Stoatie. You and Denfeld could hijack a ship and terrorize our coasts with your pirating ways.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:17 / 17.01.06

That would so rock. Up for it, JD?

subcultureofone

20:28 / 17.01.06

or come for the gasparilla pirate festival in tampa in feb.

20:33 / 17.01.06

(shudder)

The love.

subcultureofone

20:35 / 17.01.06

oops, they've moved it to the end of this month. better hurry!

20:51 / 17.01.06

This is my old infodump on weird Florida places. Some of the links are probably still good.
I'd actually forgotten about a couple of the places on there -- like Solomon's Castle. I really should try to get out there sometime.

20:54 / 17.01.06

Solomon's Castle being the aluminum fortress inn with the fake pirate ship in the moat outside it. There's a diner in the ship.

edited to add: Apparently the place is up for sale! Anyone got $2.5 million for an aluminum-siding castle in the middle of the swamp?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:58 / 17.01.06

Maybe next year, eh?

Spyder Todd 2008

20:59 / 17.01.06

Pirate festiviles. Oy. No wonder I haven't been to Florida in a few years. Although I suppose it's just like a pirate to throw a big, loud bash that attracts lots of attention instead of lurking in the shadows...

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

21:23 / 17.01.06

I've got family in south florida, and they're pretty nuts. I've been wondering lately if that's really Florida's fault, but I can't forget their cat once ate a frog she found in their swamp of a backyard poisonous enough to make her go deaf, which is pretty weird. That cat was just not the same anymore.

I've always thought Detroit was a pretty hard-ass place but there are no giant lizards whose species' memory includes standing next to dinosaurs lounging in our backyards, nor are there colorful little frogs full of poison. No Disneyworld either.

The weather is pretty nice aside from the occasional hurricane.

22:13 / 17.01.06

Apparently the place is up for sale! Anyone got $2.5 million for an aluminum-siding castle in the middle of the swamp?

It’s selling for 2.5 million? Jeez, we could build one of those. As a barbelith project, like. How much would land cost in the swamp, grant? Somewhere near you, so we can all come ‘round and nick coffee and teabags after a hard day’s fortress building. Hmm, and I suppose the next step would be to start a ‘design a barbelith fortress!!1!’ thread in Creation...

13:45 / 18.01.06

Land is insanely expensive here. I think you can still get deals way out in the boonies, though.

Oh, and Jack -- the office isn't that exciting. It looks like the Pentagon. You can see the place sometime if you like.

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