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Barbesurvey: Ring Tones

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Regrettable Juvenilia

10:43 / 13.01.06

I would hope that Boboss is being deliberately, humorously OTT when he says "truth/Fact of reality"...

10:44 / 13.01.06

Look, it's not my fault if you're an inconsiderate person, and I honestly can't help being as kind and as good as I am.

I can't change tru fax.

10:51 / 13.01.06

Aha. So difficult to tell, Boboss - so many things seem to bring out the UNTAMED HATE/Barbeannoy in you. I find myself worrying about your blood pressure, man. That’s how considerate I am...

11:05 / 13.01.06

for me musical ringtones are more annoying for several reasons:

Scenario One - phone rings with bring bring tone - I hear the ring, brain says 'its a phone ringing', I go back to whatever I'm doing

Scenario Two - phone rings with vaguely familiar musical ringtone, brain goes into two stage response: (a) 'its a phone ringing' and (b) 'Name That Tune?'. Hence its more distracting and time consuming (in case of irritating music added insult is crap tune is now lodged in head and tinkels away mercilessly all day

Scenario Three - phone rings with well loved musical ringtone, brain goes into three stage response: (a) 'its a phone ringing', (b) 'Name That Tune?' and (c) 'bloody hell, could that song sound any worse rant in head'.

11:13 / 13.01.06

Maybe I read the Tru Fax wrong and you are indeed a kind considerate person, Bedhead. As a full blooded stroppist I need other people to worry about my blood pressure because I'm too busy RAGING to pay it too much attention.

Maenad, I think that about sums it up for me, but I think I need to add that it's about 148x worse when you're commuting.

11:17 / 13.01.06

I have the cunning Xoc-Loomis combo of keeping my phone permanently on vibrate, and then never answering it so everybody knows perfectly well not to bother calling it.

Seriously, mobile phones are a terrible thing and if it weren't for that looming but unknown "emergency" that could occur at any time and leave me stranded and in dire need of telephonic communication, I would get rid of mine.

And then begin a slow campaign of making Everyone Else get rid of theirs.

Oh, I can't wait to be a proper old coot. You all and your flashy technology....tsk....

11:29 / 13.01.06

Well, jeez, maybe it is just me, then. I don’t really think that a few seconds of tune quietly playing somewhere in somebody's pocket in a noisy pub makes me think *anything*. If it doesn’t concern me, my brain cuts it out, like it cuts out just about every other noise that’s happening at that moment in that pub/on that train/in the street.

I’m not too sure about ‘phenomenon’ ringtones that lots and lots and lots of people have, like Crazy Frog, I think that’s something else, but my point is that having personalised ringtones offers the possibility of allowing you - and only you - to pick out the fact that your phone is ringing in a noisy room.

There’s maybe something here about ewes always being able to pick out *their* lamb in a field full of bleating, but that metaphor probably leads to TEH SHEEPLE at some point. But still.

11:40 / 13.01.06

Seriously, I do envy your ability not to stay calm in the face of what I somewhat irrationally see as a phenomenon that is almost intolerably distracting. To be clear, I think I should stress that my rage is usually restricted to certain contexts, such as public transport and restaurants. I think this has something to do with what I feel is the tension between public and private space inherent to those contexts.

11:49 / 13.01.06

I used to have the theme from the Sweeney as my ringtone, which always made me feel like I was getting a call from the Guv' about sorting out a couple of slags who blagged some swag from charlie's lock up. Was a bit weird when I worked in Westminster and had to walk past Scotland yard every day, always felt very conspicuous if my phone rang in ear shot of the flying squad.

I'm not really sure what my ring tone is now. My phone has this pointless function where you can mix your own customised ring tones. I half heartedly pissed about with it once in the week I got my phone, accidentally set this slightly sinister set of noises as my ring tone and haven't really been bothered enough to change it.

12:02 / 13.01.06

brilliant!
me too.

ba-nee nah..... ba-nee nah......

i have had several, but my favourite was one from the sweeney, the A-team or the final countdown, i think. i can appreciate the hate, but i really do like to be able to tell its my phone, and i usually answer pretty rapidly.

i also had the speech from the beggining of the A team as the startup sound for my PC, though, so i am, prolly 'just that kind of wanker'.

12:37 / 13.01.06

Seriously, I do envy your ability not to stay calm in the face of what I somewhat irrationally.. etc

Typo? Or are you having a go at me for having a go at you? I’m not really having a go at you, boboss. It just occurred that you getting yourself into a RAGE about this might in fact be a part of the problem. In a restaurant, or on a train or a bus, you're constantly ignoring gazillions of little noises; you don’t even need to think about it, they're just not A Part Of Your Day.

Now, if you were complaining about mobile phones in the theatre or the cinema, I’d be right there with you. You tie 'em to the stake, I'll light the fire. But on a train, surely it’s just *one more* noise that doesn’t actually need to concern you. Like, literally. What's *especially* irritating about a ringtone, exactly? All of Maenad’s reasons do make kinda sense to me, but only in a very quiet world. And if that's the problem, I’d ban loud music in pubs long before I’d ban musical ringtones.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:47 / 13.01.06

Cinemas, etc, aside, ringtones only really annoy me if a) I happen to already hate the song, or b) if they're not gonna bother answering them, so they go on for AGES. If you're not answering, turn the damn sound off.

I find people talking on their phones far more annoying. I remember reading something about why this was so annoying a while back- they concluded it was something to do with being forced to eavesdrop, but not allowed to do it properly, as you can only hear one half of the conversation. The tension between politeness and prurience being the source of the irritation.

If I'm on public transport, I'll try to keep it short. If I'm in a shop, unless I'm carrying a whole bunch of shopping and there's nowhere to leave it, I'll go outside.

12:55 / 13.01.06

A phone ringing on public transport might be mildly distracting/irritating, but then having to listen to half of someone's private conversation barked loudly for no one else's benefit is surely what's really annoying...?

Having said that, I can see how any kind of phone ring might grate - probably to do with the high frequencies involved (the only ones that will come through a tiny phone speaker clearly/strongly enough) which aren't always the most 'pleasurable' to the human ear. Like alarm clocks, their purpose is to grap your attention, not necessarily be a pleasant sound...

What really gets me is when kids on a bus are playing some music throught their phone and MC-ing over the top. It's not their skillz I'm bothered about, it's the terrible sound quality. Ultra-tinny and devoid of bass doesn't really help them to impress.

12:58 / 13.01.06

Ooop, slight cross-post there, Stoatie.

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:00 / 13.01.06

Kids rapping over music on their phones is one of the BEST THINGS EVER and I wish I lived in or travelled more often through a part of London in which it was more common!

13:01 / 13.01.06

Typo, I'm afraid. I are very prone to them.
I know I should be able to ignore them, I'd love to be able to ignore them, but I just can't. I think I have personal boundary issues that stem from twinnage.

I too would ban loud music in pubs. Sod the kids. And as for phones in cinemas, Christ, well let's just say I would ban anyone other than the quietest most considerate people from any cinema that I enter.

13:02 / 13.01.06

Kids rapping over music on their phones is one of the BEST THINGS EVER

Actually, that is pretty fucking cool.

13:03 / 13.01.06

...but then having to listen to half of someone's private conversation barked loudly for no one else's benefit is surely what's really annoying...?

That too. I'm doomed!

13:07 / 13.01.06

What's *especially* irritating about a ringtone, exactly?

Hey Bedhead - thinking about this I think for me its mainly due the memory of Life Before Mobiles. You're right that there are plenty of other noises when you're out in public, its just to me mobiles still qualify as 'New Annoying Sound'. I'm also with Mike on the issue of frequencies and unpleasantness. Main thing for me though is the whole quesion of the interaction between the physical and mental environment. The mountain of stimuli (visual, aural, smell-ual) leaves me feeling overwhelmed, and a tad resentful 'cos its like my brains being invaded and I'm not very good at closing down my responses to said stimuli). I realise its here to stay though, and I just gotta get used to it.

13:10 / 13.01.06

Yeah, I've heard some great rapping on buses, I just wish the sound wasn't so badly distorted is all. It's pretty common round my way, Petey. But then, so's talking on your phone in the cinema. Grrr...

13:37 / 13.01.06

Ah, Maenad - the World Before Mobiles. I used to live there myself, and I *thought* I remembered it well... and then I bought someone an old rotary-dial phone for Christmas this year. I’ve never had the chance to compare the two before, so didn’t realise just how amazingly discreet yer modern mobiles actually are, until I saw one sat next to this ginormous great noisy red CHUNK of phone. Also, having recently heard a proper old-style ring, which made everyone in the room jump, even though we were waiting for it, I feel kinda aware of how weird it is to set a modern phone with no moving parts to mimic such a physical, mechanical sound.

(Er, says the man whose phone plays a 1930s harmonica solo. But gently and discreetly)

But I agree with you the world is bloody noisy place these days, and that it can easily get to be too much.

13:40 / 13.01.06

...known to rock a party at the drop of a call!

man.
whatever happened to beatboxing?
kids these days, eh.
i know your modern hip hop is all grimey, but still.
if i can make those noises with my mouth then so can they.

i should take to the buses and BATTLE them for their pride.

13:43 / 13.01.06

If you do that, ask one of them to video it on their mobile for us, eh? They do that. The kids. They do that sort of thing all the time.

13:48 / 13.01.06

Rotary-dial phones, whilst all cool looking and sounding, are also really boring to use. I mean, you have to wait for each number to go round and there's no memory so you have to actually remember or look up people's numbers. Which are much longer than they used to be. And they're useless if you want to book some tickets or call a helpline...

13:57 / 13.01.06

Ooh, you know what I'd like? A mobile with a little tiny rotary dial, and an old stylee handset clipped to the top - to the same tiny scale, so it would have to be pulled to the required length, like a radio arial.

My phone has the 'brring brring' thing, but for some *f---ing* stupid reason it goes up a semi-tone every couple of rings. Gah! It adds a completely unwanted extra layer of urgency, like it's going to flipping explode if I don't answer it right now.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

13:59 / 13.01.06

A mobile with a little tiny rotary dial, and an old stylee handset clipped to the top - to the same tiny scale

Oh God yes!

14:04 / 13.01.06

Mike/M**m:

"Rotary-dial phones, whilst all cool looking and sounding, are also really boring to use. I mean, you have to wait for each number to go round and there's no memory so you have to actually remember or look up people's numbers"

We didn't have telly back then, mike. People had more time on their hands.

Btw, has anyone ever used a telephone directory to look up a private number? I think the only time I've ever looked in one was as a kid, firstly for the thrill of seeing our family name and address in print with everyone else's (contributed enormously to a sense of community, now I think about it) and secondly to see how many people shared our surname. Never to look up an actual number.

14:04 / 13.01.06

Well, there are these...

14:12 / 13.01.06

Heh heh. It's good, but it would be much better at the proper scale, so it could be held 'twixt thumb and forefinger. And of course it would be enormously satisfying to calmly draw it out to the required length. You'd have the 'sense of occasion' without the 'unwieldy great lumps'.

14:12 / 13.01.06

A mobile with a little tiny rotary dial, and an old stylee handset clipped to the top - to the same tiny scale

You’d have to use *this* glove to answer it, though. That would be in the contract.

14:12 / 13.01.06

I haven't heard anybody rapping over a mobile, but I have heard one person playing a song, and then somebody else (not a kid at all) entirely unconnected starting to sing it.

It was quite cool but it went on a bit and it was a little loud on the top deck of the 159. I should have recorded it. On my mobile obviously.

15:18 / 13.01.06

Mike, I’ve been dropping hints about wanting one of those telephone handsets near birthday and Christmas times for a couple of years now, and I just don’t think anyone took me seriously. But fuck it, I’m going to buy one for myself.

See, I still think that mobile phones are, ergonomically speaking, rubbish. I kinda thought that by now, Jonathan Ive or someone would have reimagined the mobile phone – something that felt nice in the hand, fit the face and had a bit of that ‘I want to touch it’ je ne sais quoi. The fact that they’re still little grey boxes seems a little thoughtless, and considering their preeminence as the gadget sine qua non, I’m surprised that it has yet to undergo any real reinvention.

I know lots of people, like Boboss, who find various aspects of the mobile phone revolution spleen bustingly irritating. But, while I have sympathy for them, I can’t relate to it at all. God, I don’t really care that much if a phone goes off in a cinema. And I’m not a particularly easy going sort. Personally, I find someone laughing at something I don’t find funny a million times more annoying. I think it must be like tongue rolling – I just don’t have the gene. In fact, I quite like manifestations of a more plugged-in society. You could answer your phone in the middle of a conversation with me, and I really won’t give a shit.

I like Bed Head’s point about the bleats of lambs (and love the idea of a ‘family whistle’) as a metaphor for the social benefits of individualising these things. My instinct has always been that I prefer to hear a personalised ring tone, and that, I think, explains it to me. I’m very happy to see the demise of the days when the ring of one phone in a pub launched an obligatory round of the patting your pockets dance.

16:27 / 13.01.06

Personally, I find someone laughing at something I don’t find funny a million times more annoying.

That is fucking annoying, isn't it? Especially when they look to you to share the laugh and find a stony face regarding them with a swelling hatred.

I want to see a Boboss vs Smoothly annoy-off where they swap things that annoy them to find who has the shortest fuse for the little annoyances of life.

16:32 / 13.01.06

Neither of us could compete with the ragemaster known as Jack the Bodiless.

16:52 / 13.01.06

I did have Bananaphone as my ringtone, very briefly. Nobody actually called me during that period so I don't know quite how annoying and embarrassing it would have been.

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