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With everything that has been going on, I find myself trying not to get too excited about my baby, because I'm afraid of being disappointed again. On January the 7th I went for the first blood test, which was negative and I was bitterly disappointed about it. Which explains why I was very surprised when the test came back positive last Wednesday.
But things are going better now. May Tricks (many thanks to her) told me about a book called Pagan Parenting which helped her a lot, which I bought two days ago.
In the book, they had a lucid dreaming exercise for meeting the spirit of my unborn child, which I tried last night. To my surprise it worked  Being fairly new to the spiritual path, doubt is still my biggest enemy.
But I met him. And yes, it's a boy. He looked a lot like my husband. He appeared as an adult, not a child, which in itself was rather surprising. I felt comforted in meeting him and it has helped me to be even more positive about the pregnacy.
I spoke to my husband about this last night, before trying it. My fear was that I would be even more devastated should this pregnancy not work out after meeting my child, than had I not met him at all. My husband replied that it would probably be easier to deal with the entire situation after having met him, than not knowing at all.
He was right.
I can't remember all that much from the dream, other than feeling comforted and more at peace with the progression of this pregnancy than I had ever felt, since it all started.
Should everything work out, I would call him Rowan. It just feels right.
I am at peace, whatever the outcome, as I have met Rowan and I know that should things not go as planned with this pregnancy, Rowan will be there for the next one.
I cannot thank you all enough for the help and support. It has kept me focussed and calm throughout. I will continue keeping you all updated as to the progress, should you wish.
Love
ShadowRain
PS: Any thoughts about the name Rowan? |
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