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[OT] I am breaking my vow. I accept the embarrassment of my decision, and shall bear it willingly for the next 10 days. It has been one righeous fuck of a day capping off one egregious fuck of a week. But I have my Jack Daniels on the rocks, plenty of cigarettes, and a lovely journal entry I've been itching to share. Doing so will make me feel better in some small way, and will at least take my mind off my (I'm sure in hindsight) small worries. I thank you.[/OT]
12/31/05 - New Moon
Birds that made appearances this A.M.: Oriole (prominent), flock of ibises (flying over throughtout the day), flock of crows (in the slash pines), 3 doves (pines), cardinal (heard call thru most of the day)
There is a charge running through the day. Last night, we asked E if he liked the magickal name we'd picked for him. He let out an enthusiastic squeal right away. Today, the oriole appears as E laughs and points (the oriole has a correspondence to his name). We are doing right, treading a clear path. I am optimistic about our ritual.
Supplies:
Frankincense and cedar incense, E's magickal name, his gifts, 2 dozen white roses, magickal tools, spiritual gifts*, God and Goddess candle, white pillar candle, sage stick.
1/4/06
Fashioned E's pentacle 2 nights before ritual. The process became very intricate and exacting without my full intent. The thought occured to me: "If you're going to do it, do it right." I could see the truth in that, regrouped, and set myself to serious work. I was very impressed with the result, and further impressed and a little awed when Wifey purchased a box for E's tools in which the pentacle fit perfectly. It's circumference fit right into the breadth of the box. The box was purchased the day after I constructed the pentacle and no measurements were taken at any time.
The situation surrounding the purchase of the box was itself marked with lovely happenstance. After searching the New Age supply store and finding nothing suitable, Wifey asked the proprietor if there were any other boxes for sale that were not on display. The proprietor said there were, and brought E's box out from behind the counter. It was long, about the size of a small wand(!), and the lid was embossed with three pentacles. It was perfect, and Wifey told the proprietor so.
The day of the ritual hummed with energy and good omens (see above). The other two families who were taking part in the ritual arrived late in the afternoon. As we began to set up, we realized we were missing one necessity for the ritual: unused white pillar candles. However, after a few minutes of fretting, Wifey remembered we had received six such candles as an Xmas gift from D and R.
T, in her role as High Priestess, erected the circle and called the Watchtowers. The 3 menfolk each held their baby as we stood in couples in a semi-circle. H stood alone, holding baby K (T is his wife). We bestowed magickal names on our babies, took an oath to love, protect, and nurture them, gave spiritual gifts to each of the three babies, introduced them to the gods and our ancestors, and presented the babies with their magickal tools.
T cried as she blessed baby K and baby K wouldn't stop crying until T took her in her arms and let her help officiate the ceremony. Baby G got very excited when it was his turn to be blessed. E just took the whole scene in, smiling at his blessing. After closing the circle, we feasted on takeout Chinese and a store-bought dessert platter. Everyone left about 9ish, and Wifey and I retired to the couch and rang in the new year with cheap champagne and a sleepy (but enthusiastic) kiss.
The next day, E did something I hadn't seen him do before and haven't seen him do since. Two or three times during the day, he would gaze very silently and intently at a place somewhere around a foot above his head. Sometimes this spot was in front of him, sometimes it was at his side. He became very still at these times (which is unusual for the little guy) and would slowly lift his hand up towards whatever it was with one or two fingers pointing out as if to touch something. He's usually a "grabby" baby, so this slow, purposeful movement toward something (which I never saw) is quite remarkable to me. Pondering this, my mind can only conjur up a bevy of dancing white orbs swirling above my boy, and a sense of wonderment radiating from him and mixed with some small recognition. That, however, is pure speculation and may do more to sully the experience than to preserve it.
*A trait, talent, or aspect of a person shared freely and in the spirit of nurturance and community. My gift to give was "the Fire of Imagination, to add spark to your life and sustain you." D gave Logic, R gave Music, H gave Creativity, T gave Love, and S gave Joy. |
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