Thanks for the interesting and amusing replies, everyone.
Me, I'm haunted by a virtual model that I've constructed in my head over the years - mostly subconsciously, I suppose - of The Ultimate Adult. It is an emotionless, Vulcan-like character, who experiences neither joy nor anger. It's able to feel sadness but only briefly. It only derives pleasure - no, satisfaction - from seeing things done right. It knows *everything*; it knows how things should be, is certain of its place in the world, can cope with any unexpected situation and is generally content.
Sounds fucking awful, doesn't it? Does to me, anyway, but I can't help comparing myself to it. I fall especially short in the knowledge department. Somehow I've managed to reach the age of 37 without acquiring any tangible skills!
Jack Fear:
"But I would say that a real grown-up fends for hirself"
That sounds about right to me, but I wonder where maturity comes into it - as in attitude, rather than a state? Does maturity always come with adulthood? I tend to think of childishness, adolescence and maturity as lying at various points along an axis with 'absolute selfishness and total disregard for others' at one extreme and 'complete disregard for self and a concern for the welfare of every other living thing' at the other. [aside] Thinking about it, that's pretty close to how I would have defined The Devil and God when I was a religious youngster [/aside]. It strikes me that you could sit almost anywhere along that axis and still collect the badges that say 'adult' (job, home etc).
Tango-Mango:
"If adulthood comes finally with the death of either or both parents, then adulthood is an awful aching void of finally realising that you are actually alone in a very specific way. This seems to happen at whatever age it occurs
That's a weird one for me, cos my dad died before I was 2. So I didn't really experience 'loss' - or if I did then I don't remember it - but growing up I was obviously aware of his absence.
ibis in furs:
"I always think of people as adults when they've stopped constantly trying to prove or demonstrate their identities. Being a grown-up doesn't necessarily mean you know who you really are... but you no longer have to go around *really obviously* smoking Gauloises in order to exist."
I like that one a lot, it maps with my Dreadful Ideal Adult as described earlier - certainty of your own identity, comfortableness etc. |
