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Interviewing

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10:44 / 13.12.05

Over today and tomorrow, I'm involved in interviewing junior doctors. Having only recently had any experience of this sort of thing, I must admit I really quite enjoy being on this side of the table. Not because I'm a sadistic power-crazed bastard, particularly (if anything, I want the interview to go well, and don't like it when interviewees panic or dry up), but because it's quite fascinating asking the same set of questions to successive people and seeing how differently they approach them.

And, of course, because those who do incredibly badly make me remember my own times as an interviewee and think, "wow, I was actually quite good". Personal favourite to date has to be the wannabe psychiatrist who persistently referred to his patients as "inmates".

So. I'm wearing scary pinstripes plus black crewneck that makes me want to talk like the Master off Doctor Who. Questions include the old 'teamwork' standards: Piece Of Work Of Which You Are Proud; Piece Of Work That Didn't Go Well (And What You Learned From It); Example Of Conflict Resolution. Interesting but a tad predictable.

Any suggestions for curve-balls to spice things up? And does anyone else enjoy interviewing?

10:51 / 13.12.05

you could ask the classic 'what unique qualities can you bring ' one, but meet each of their ideas with a considered 'nah, we got one of them yesterday. anything else?'.
repeat ad nauseam.

11:00 / 13.12.05

"What would cause you to break hospital policy?"

or

"What part of this job do you fear most? Why?"

Tryphena Absent

11:00 / 13.12.05

I hate you on behalf of all the people you're interviewing. Those questions are nasty. You're only going to end up with someone who can wittle down massive generalisations into manageable questions when talking to a complete stranger. Have some sympathy and think about the people who always went for the focused exam questions when they were doing their A Levels.

I can never answer piece of work that you are proud of. It's my problem question.

11:06 / 13.12.05

Blow job?

11:06 / 13.12.05

Nina, the Good, the Bad and the Conflict are standard 'example' questions. You ought to have an answer by now, even if it's, "my 59th level Paladin who's never been defeated in melee combat".

11:07 / 13.12.05

Conduct at least one interview where you substitute the word "patient(s)" with "punter(s)".

11:11 / 13.12.05

I'm thinking of a practical piece. "Perform a snippet of your favourite Girls Aloud track", perhaps.

11:11 / 13.12.05

You know that the interviewees will have been advised to picture you naked to deal with their nervousness. Why not ask them how that's working for them and if they think you look good without your clothes?

Or you could make it easier on them by actually being naked.

11:12 / 13.12.05

Would facilitate the blow jobs too.

11:13 / 13.12.05

I once interviewed a reporter for a job and asked them about the piece of work which they were most proud of and they dried up horribly, went red and apparently burst into tears as soon as they were out of the room. It's surely not that much of a killer question, is it?

Most stupid question I've ever been asked in an interview (it was for my current job, actually) was: What does your father do for a living? Like, why does that matter and what bearing does it have on my ability to do this job?

11:14 / 13.12.05

"If I was your superior and I asked you to do something illegal, what would you do?"

11:16 / 13.12.05

I've never had that stupid a question, Sax. Xoc once got asked, "are those socks from Burberry", though.

Loomis: as we speak, I'm practising sitting in that legs-apart "I've got a really great penis" pose. For picturing the nakedness thereof.

11:16 / 13.12.05

You could have sued them for that, Sax of Hinterland fame, had they not given you the job.

I guess the fact that you did get the job means that your dad was in the correct profession, or in the masons.

11:18 / 13.12.05

"If I was your superior and I asked you to do something illegal, what would you do?"

I was thinking about, "if your Consultant came in smelling strongly of alcohol every morning, what would you do?" I was asked that once.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:44 / 13.12.05

"What is he was also your Dad?"

11:49 / 13.12.05

'I'm trying to meet the, how can I put this... the real you...

What do you look like, underneath them clothes?'

Less searchable M0rd4nt

12:00 / 13.12.05

Questions relating to my Early Education and Adventures have always pissed me off royally. It was bad enough when I was of school leaving age, but it's just fecking ridiculous now. I was asked as recently as a couple of years ago "So, why did your parents take you out of school?" How the heck is that relevent? In what way does a decision made over a quarter of a century ago by two people who you've never met relate to my suitability for a given job?

Face hurtings. Especially for those interveiwers who follow up with some vacuous comment about my "not liking education".

pointless & uncalled for

12:06 / 13.12.05

How much cold hard cash do you have in your wallet right now?

Did you remember to bring the charlie?

What's your safeword?

12:15 / 13.12.05

"Before we continue, let us shake hands... *Masonic wiggle* ...okay thanks, you're not quite what we're after"

pointless & uncalled for

12:17 / 13.12.05

Actually there are a few interviewers who think that you should endeavour to turn a couple of questions into conversations as it breaks the interviewee away from being scripted and gets a more realistic answer.

Interestingly enough, when I interviewed for my current position they asked the old chestnut that is "Why do you want this job." My answer was the brutally honest "I'm a temp, I'm pretty much in it for the money." I can tell you that it feels really good to say that at least once in your life.

Tryphena Absent

12:20 / 13.12.05

You ought to have an answer by now

I work in admin. How can you be proud of a good bit of administration? I'm proud of the time I once had a really good chat with someone on the phone who I didn't know? I'm proud of the paper filing I did last week, which I colour coded? I'm proud that I never shout at anyone?

There must be an admin person here who knows how to answer that question and not make it dull. Tell me how...

12:25 / 13.12.05

Haven't you done any specific things that went well - changing the way something was done, or planning and arranging a meeting for people, that sort of thing?
And, in fact, it doesn't have to be work related - I once blethered on about something entirely outside paid work and that seemed to go down well.

Tryphena Absent

12:42 / 13.12.05

Actually I'm wary of it. I suspect the job that I really achieved the most in (the one that I could really talk about) is giving quite bad references because I couldn't sit at my desk and make tea for someone on another floor and file paperwork at the same time. I suspect this because everytime I try to answer this question and bring up the workplace my interviewers (all of them over a space of 3 months) purse their lips and frown at the paper in front of them before I've really said anything. Next time I write a job application I'm going to have to find a way to avoid a reference from them, which is intensely difficult.

12:53 / 13.12.05

I propose an impromptu spelling test, starting with the words schizophrenia, hypochondriasis and, oh, I don't know, trichotillomania.....

12:59 / 13.12.05

Wow, that's a bit scary, Nina. I wonder if it's possible to find out?

Most interviewers won't bother getting references until after an interview, though, so if you've impressed them enough they'll be less bothered about an iffy reference. And maybe just put another person as your reference, so you can still talk comfortably about what you did in that job?

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:35 / 13.12.05

Nina, the Good, the Bad and the Conflict are standard 'example' questions. You ought to have an answer by now

Why? Why roll over and accept the arbitrary pointlessness of it all? Why play along?

I ask because every "how to excell in interviews" guide I ever read said something different. Or something impossible: if they ask you whether you have any weaknesses, don't tell them actual weaknesses. But also, you can't say "I'm too much of a perfectionist" anymore because all interviewers are now wise to this. So what you have to say is something that isn't actually a weakness but you pretend you think it is a weakness, and they play along because we all agree that this is s.o.p. whereas in fact it is b.u.l.l.

When I had to interview people, I just recommended the people I liked best and thought were brightest on the basis of the first impression. When I did my last lot of interviews while job-hunting, I ended up getting an offer from the interview wherein I'd just thought "I'm not sure what this job is and whether I even want it, and I'm sick of bullshitting, so I'll just be as honest as possible".

Now, I'm not saying there's definitely a lesson to be learned there. But there could be.

13:42 / 13.12.05

the new "correct" answer to the weakness question is (and this is as bad as "i'm a bit of a perfectionist really!" a-la Spud in trainspotting):

Not recognising I have any.

13:47 / 13.12.05

I ask because every "how to excell in interviews" guide I ever read said something different. Or something impossible: if they ask you whether you have any weaknesses, don't tell them actual weaknesses. But also, you can't say "I'm too much of a perfectionist" anymore because all interviewers are now wise to this.

For the weaknesses question I always answer, "Well I used to smoke, but I've given that up now". Blatant lying of course being that I haven't attempted to give up smoking in a very long time but the answer seems to go down well. That or "I can't drive. But there are so many road accidents, it cuts down on pollution, and public transport is great so I never saw the point". Try answering with something that isn't necessarily a character fault or that actually ends up throwing you in a good light (an even temperament, disciplined, socially aware).

13:52 / 13.12.05

I've been giving a fair number of interviews lately for a couple of technical positions.

One thing I've found to work well is to ask at least one impossible question each interview. That is, ask a question about some bit of technical minutiae that you're almost certain the candidate won't know anything about. Anyone who beats around the bush before admitting that they don't know (or fails to admit it, yet clearly doesn't know what you're talking about) gets shown to the door.

The other good question I like to ask is "What new piece of technology or methodology have you learned in the past three months, and how is it useful?" The pace of change in science and technology is such that if you're not constantly learning, you're getting left behind, and I'm not willing to hire anyone who doesn't have the self-motivation to be constantly learning.

14:04 / 13.12.05

The last time I was asked the weakness question, I drew a total blank, froze up, gibbered, and finally told them I didn't have much patience for stupid people.

Godsdammit I hate interviewing.

Ask them about their pets or their children early in the interview, Ganesh. That should be something they'll like talking about and be comfortable with, so in theory it will relax them and you'll get better answers after.

14:08 / 13.12.05

Ask them if they've seen God... and did he have an elephant's head!

14:12 / 13.12.05

Ask them what they think of the sheeple.

Or ask them what their Barbelith name is.

Quote them a Morrissey line as a question and see if they respond with another quote.

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:14 / 13.12.05

Double Shrug said:

Try answering with something that isn't necessarily a character fault or that actually ends up throwing you in a good light (an even temperament, disciplined, socially aware).

IE, as I already said: what you have to say is something that isn't actually a weakness but you pretend you think it is a weakness, and they play along because we all agree that this is s.o.p. whereas in fact it is b.u.l.l.

14:39 / 13.12.05

That's the thing I hate most about the interview process (and also CV writing) the amount of hoops you have to jump through: "In my last job, I took responsibility for streamlining the business protocols while proactively pursuing the mission statement". They know it's content-free bullshit, you know it's content-free bullshit but yet you still have to do it.

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